Before you talk with your wife again, try to see things from her perspective. She went from having her own money to being completely dependent on you. We’ll grant you that this was a decision the two of you made together. However, she may feel completely out of control of her own life. She acts out that frustration by spending money she doesn’t have because she is temporarily able to escape her feeling of helplessness.

This is one possibility. You know your wife; we don’t. We may be missing the mark. In your comment we see both frustration and confusion. Do everything you can to push the frustration aside long enough to understand what’s going on with her. Really understand her because that’s the first step in finding a solution. Then, and only then, you’re ready to discuss this situation with her because you’ll have the proper mindset.

When you approach her, assure her in your own way. An example: Tell her you love her. Tell her you love your little baby. Tell her you want to stay together. Tell her that, with her help, you want to build a beautiful future for the three of you. Tell her that you want to understand what she’s feeling.

Then shut up. Listen intently. Ask questions if you don’t understand. Don’t be judgmental. Do what you said – try to understand her. As she opens up, look for points of agreement. Find your common goals. Ask her for help in reaching a solution to your financial difficulties.

You can’t control her actions, but you’re in full control of your response. By demonstrating to her that you’re trying to understand her, you’ll be more likely to get her to work together toward a solution. Let us know how it goes.