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Resolving Conflicts at Work

Written on February 10, 2012 by George Krueger & Mary-Lynn Foster in Personal Growth

How do you resolve conflict at work? Or in your personal life, for that matter? There are four ways to go about it:

Listen to this post. Click a player to hear George & Mary-Lynn on the BIGG Success Show Podcsast (Runtime 6:25)

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Blow up

Go ahead. Get mad. Get it off your chest. You’ll feel better. Who cares about anyone else?

As you might guess, this is one way to handle conflict. But it’s not an effective way to resolve them.

Throw up

Okay, not in a literal sense. But you can spew negativity to anybody and everybody who will listen.

Oh, with one exception – you won’t talk with the person or persons who have it in their power to resolve the conflict.

Clam up

Don’t say a word. Just take it. Internalize everything. Deal with it. And feel your blood pressure rise along with the acid reflux.

This is another way to handle a conflict but not one that’s recommended.

We saw a great post by Megan Hustad on Fortune’s site. It explains how silence can cost you in another way. With jobs still hard to come by, she points out that a lot of people are afraid to rock the boat.

The irony is that you may be better off doing just that. She quotes Joseph Grenny, co-author of Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High.

He says while workers feel clamming up increases their job security, the opposite is true. Job security is increased by dealing with conflicts at work in a way we haven’t yet talked about.

Step up

Deal with conflict directly but gingerly. Talk to the person or persons who can do something about it. Be the emotionally mature adult in the room of people we’ve discussed above.

People who resolve conflicts are just as valuable as people who find a resolution to any other problem. Demonstrate how valuable you are by tackling issues head on.

Know the purpose of your conversation before you ask for it

The critical point-of-view is that you are having a conversation, not a confrontation.

As Grenny points out, you can show respect while being candid. You can be honest without being brutal. You can be assertive while being civil.
Focus on fixing the problem, not the blame

Explain the situation in a way that doesn’t make anyone defensive. One of the best ways to do this is to fix the blame on things, not people.

Here’s a model: When X happened, people felt Y. For example, when the policy changed, people felt taken advantage of.

Yeah, because another way of saying that is: You changed the policy. Now everyone thinks you’re a jerk who is out to screw them over.

Would you get defensive if someone said that to you? Most people would. Who could blame you? So keep the conversation productive with the words you use.
Practice, practice, practice before the actual conversation

You can do it in a mirror while you’re putting on your makeup or shaving in the morning. Watch and listen while you do so you can make sure you’re conveying the message with the tone of your voice and your facial expressions.

Find someone you can role play with. Simulate the environment as closely as possible. If you will be sitting, sit while you practice. If you will be standing, stand. You want to work on your body language while you rehearse.

If you don’t have any conflict, you’re probably not doing enough. Conflict is a healthy thing. Conflict is an opportunity.

But only if you step up. It will make you stand out from the crowd which leads to BIGG success!

What tip do you have for resolving a conflict?

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Tags: audioblog, bigg success, conflicts, crucial conversations tools, george krueger, mary-lynn foster, podcast, point of view, Relationships, the bigg success show, Work

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4 Strategies to Optimize Your Money Stream Now

Written on February 8, 2012 by George Krueger & Mary-Lynn Foster in Money

We’re always looking at models here at BIGG success. Recently, we’ve been thinking about our prehistoric ancestors.

Here’s the progression: BIGG success is life on your own terms. You own your life. You’re the entrepreneur in charge.

Listen to this post! Click a player to hear George & Mary-Lynn on The BIGG Success Show Podcast (Runtime 5:35)

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So what if you thought about the family unit like an enterprise? We’ll call it the family business.

Our ancestors had well-defined roles for their family business.

The men largely hunted. The women gathered. The children didn’t just play; they helped. They contributed. They learned about their future jobs.

Everyone was involved in the family business. And there was a genius to its organization.

Hunting

Hunting was a risky activity. If the right thing went wrong, you could pay the ultimate price – your life.

The returns were intermittent. Some days, there was a BIGG payoff. On other occasions, there was none.

But make no mistake – the payoffs had to come frequently enough for the family unit to survive.

When they came, the family feasted. When they didn’t, the family survived on the gathered items.

Gathering

Gathering was a low-risk activity. You may get hurt, but you weren’t likely to lose your life from it.

It yielded steady returns. These returns were a nice addition to the family feast when the hunt was successful. On days when there was no kill, the family could subsist for a period of time on what had been gathered.

Two types of income

Modern finance theory works much the same way. It suggests that investors should allocate a portion of their portfolio to riskless assets (i.e. treasuries).

For the rest of it, hold risky assets (e.g. stocks).

Like the family unit of the past, modern investors use this hunting-gathering mindset. Risky assets hunt for intermittent, high returns while the risk-free assets steadily gather income.

The rationale for this is to optimize your money stream. You earn more money given the risk by balancing your portfolio between the two types of assets.

It’s also a clue to optimize your money stream now.

4 strategies to optimize your money stream now

As we said before, BIGG success is about entrepreneuring your life. As the person in charge, you can use the hunter-gatherer model to optimize your money stream now.

Here are four ways you can do it:

Keep your job and start a part-time business

While holding down a job is not risk-free these days, it provides a steady money stream. It’s gathering. You do the work. You gather the income.

In your spare time, start a business. It’s the hunting side. The income you make may be intermittent until you get established. But it will allow you to feast once it takes off!
Build a portfolio career as a business

This is a ramped-up version of the first one. It seems to work particularly well for people in mid-career and beyond.

Instead of trading time for money as you would with a job, turn your expertise or talent into a business.

Instead of only having one customer (your employer), build a business with multiple clients.

Just be sure to not just sell time for money. Sure, it’s a career but why not think BIGG and build a business, too!
Start a business full-time while your spouse holds down a down

Another alternative if you have a supportive spouse is to start a business full-time now. Your spouse can provide the steady income from his or her job.

This is how many couples get started in business. Once the business takes off, the other spouse can work in the business too or start their own.
Do one of the above and invest in businesses

This is the BIGG play. Combine this strategy with one of the others to put your progress on steroids.

Money and time are two of the five elements of BIGG success. They are your two resources.

You only have so much time. You can leverage your time with money.

Instead of working a business yourself, invest in one with someone who does the work. Get your money working as hard as you do. That’s BIGG success.