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6 Great Ways to Keep a Conversation Going

Written on August 22, 2008 by George Krueger & Mary-Lynn Foster in Communication, Networking

When you meet someone for the first time, the hardest part is usually just getting the conversation started. But sometimes it’s also hard to keep it going.

We did some research and found a lot of articles on the internet about starting a conversation, but few about keeping it going. We also found that many suggestions for conversation starters would probably be better conversation “continuers”.

So we thought we’d focus on that part of the conversation today.

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With some people, it’s tough to keep the conversation going. They may be extremely shy or you might just not “click” with them. In those cases, you may just have to resign yourself that it’s not going to happen and move on.

6 ways to keep the conversation going

One simple way to keep a conversation going is to ask questions. Don’t get too personal. Keep it light-hearted. Also, don’t fire them off so rapidly that the other person starts to feel like they’re being interrogated. We use this one a lot, particularly early in a conversation. But here are six of our favorites ways to keep it going:

#1 – “What’s the best book you’ve read recently?”
Variations could be best movie, TV show, or music they’ve heard.

#2 – Offer up some interesting trivia.
Just don’t go Cliff Claven on them! If you’ve heard something that intrigued you, and it’s germane to the conversation, share it!

For example, we heard not long ago that 80% of all men said they would marry the same woman all over again. However, only 50% of all women said they would marry the same man. Can you see an interesting conversation coming out of that tidbit?

#3 – “If you could trade places with one celebrity, who would it be?”
Variations could be favorite actor, or you could limit it to favorite living actor, etc.

#4 – “If you could do college all over again, what would you get your degree in?”
This question also has many interesting variations. For example, you could ask them what’s the one class they would like to take now.

#5 – “What are you working on that’s fun?”
We heard this one from our friend Chris Brogan. It makes “What do you do?” seem boring, doesn’t it. We loved this question the first time we heard it.

#6 – Create a game.
We like to come up with a word of the night or phrase of the day. It’s an interesting word that naturally came up in the conversation. Ideally, it’s a word or phrase with a double meaning of some sort. Then see how many times it can be worked into the discussion.

What’s your favorite way to keep a conversation going?

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Are You Smart Enough to Say It Simply?

Written on April 23, 2008 by George Krueger & Mary-Lynn Foster in Communication, Confidence, Presentations

Today, we’ll share a recent experience with an intern and a doctor. The intern explained what was going on, and we understood almost none of it. He only used medical terms. When we questioned him, he compounded it with even more technical words. A great guy, but he didn’t communicate effectively.

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Then we talked to the doctor. The doctor explained everything in human terms so we fully understood. Sure, she used technical terms, but she quickly explained what they meant in layman’s language.

She was smart enough to say it simply!

So from that we can only conclude that women are better communicators than men!

Okay, that’s not what we’re saying. It’s not about gender, it’s about these three factors:

#1 – Personal characteristics
Consider two ends of the spectrum – on one end, there are people who lack confidence. On the other end, there are people with ego.

Confidence. These people may be somewhat new to the subject they’re trying to explain so they’re not that sure of themselves yet. They’re uncomfortable talking about it. So they talk about it the way they learned it – in technical terms. It’s a nervous reaction.

Ego. These people are experts and they want you to know just how smart they are. They may even be arrogant. They’re smart, but not smart enough to realize how important it is to clearly communicate with their audience.

#2 – Communication skills
This is about preparation. They know they have a message to relay, but they don’t put any thought into how to relay it. They’re very skilled in their profession, but they don’t know how to communicate with the average Jane or Joe.

#3 – People skills
They’re not able to read the people to whom they’re talking. If they get a blank stare, it doesn’t register that the person doesn’t understand. These people are brilliant in their profession, but they lack the ability to connect with people, especially those outside their profession.

2 tips to say it simply
Here are two questions to ask yourself about your audience before you try to communicate with them:

Question #1 – What is their level of understanding about your subject?
The answer to this question will help you determine how you form your message. If you’re talking to a colleague, you can go crazy with all that jargon you love! If you’re talking to someone outside your profession, keep it simple!

Question #2 – What do they need to know?
If the CliffsNotes version will do, don’t recite the whole book! Determine what’s really important and leave out all the rest. They’ll ask you if they want more.

It’s smart to keep it simple!

Our bigg quote today comes from the French philosopher, Voltaire:

“If you wish to speak with me, define your terms.”

And limit those terms to terms of use by your audience.