Today we want to discuss preferences – making the right choices for ourselves – and how our preferences affect our relationship with others and with ourselves.

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I was talking with my dad the other day. He’s really looking forward to Thanksgiving Day because he is going to cook all day. My dad is the make-everything-from-scratch kind of guy. He just can’t wait. For him, it’s going to be super-relaxing and he’s excited about it. I, on the other hand, would hate that. I can’t see how cooking and doing dishes all day is fun and relaxing.

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As we were talking about this, we realized that we assess other people, and what they’re doing, based on our own preferences.

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Obviously, I don’t think what my dad’s doing is wrong. I’m happy for him that he’s excited. It’s just that it’s not what I would want to do.

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I’m closer to your league, Mary-Lynn. If we were doing this whole thing ourselves, there would be a lot of semi-homemade cooking – out of the box with modifications stuff.

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I’m all about the Stove Top stuffing and getting a turkey breast instead of a whole turkey, so you don’t have to carve it. I guess what I’m saying here is that my choice is to be lazy!

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Which works fine on Thanksgiving Day for you. But I think sometimes we look at other people and wonder why in the world they’re doing what they’re doing. Like with what your dad’s doing – it works for him and brings him joy.

___

The perfect meal

Then sometimes we make choices for ourselves based on what we think other people expect from us. We put pressure on ourselves to be perfect. Let’s keep the Thanksgiving theme going. We think we have to have the perfect meal – we have to serve the dinner on the china, the stuffing has to be homemade, we have to make the pies from scratch.

It’s what we’ve always done

We put all these pressures on ourselves because we think that’s what our guests expect. Those expectations may be based on tradition – this is what we’ve always done. Just because we’ve “always done” something doesn’t mean we should necessarily feel pressure to keep doing it every single time, or any time for that matter! There should be a good reason for it. 

Guilt

If you are strapped for time, if you are tuckered out, why put yourself through all of this extra work? You could just get a store-bought pie or call someone and ask them to make one or pick one up.

But if we do that, we feel guilty. Because we’re not doing what’s always been done, because our family’s going to expect that everything is going to be perfect – we’re going to have the homemade pie, the stuffing is going to be made from scratch, the turkey will be nice and golden, fresh out of the oven, ready to carve.

Who really expects it?

We do all of these things because we feel these expectations even though the people around us may not. We place all of this pressure on ourselves!

We may do this because we want everything to be perfect. That’s fine as long as it’s really your choice and you’re not doing it because you feel guilty if you don’t do it.

Conscious choices

Maybe if you really thought about it, and you talked with your loved ones, you might decide that the best solution is to go out for Thanksgiving dinner. Or have spaghetti with turkey meatballs!

That’s the point – it doesn’t matter what you do if you consciously make the choice. If it works for you and the people you care about, then it works! And this doesn’t just apply to Thanksgiving dinner!

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___

Today we give thanks to you for joining us here. Next time, we’ll look at close encounters of the rude kind. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

Subscribe to the Bigg Success feed.

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
http://media.libsyn.com/media/biggsuccess/00272-112508.mp3

Related posts

Putting The Thanks In Thanksgiving

Putting The Giving In Thanksgiving

(Image by bjearwicke)

Today we want to discuss preferences – making the right choices for ourselves – and how our preferences affect our relationship with others and with ourselves.

___

___

___

I was talking with my dad the other day. He’s really looking forward to Thanksgiving Day because he is going to cook all day. My dad is the make-everything-from-scratch kind of guy. He just can’t wait. For him, it’s going to be super-relaxing and he’s excited about it. I, on the other hand, would hate that. I can’t see how cooking and doing dishes all day is fun and relaxing.

___

___

As we were talking about this, we realized that we assess other people, and what they’re doing, based on our own preferences.

___

___

Obviously, I don’t think what my dad’s doing is wrong. I’m happy for him that he’s excited. It’s just that it’s not what I would want to do.

___

___

I’m closer to your league, Mary-Lynn. If we were doing this whole thing ourselves, there would be a lot of semi-homemade cooking – out of the box with modifications stuff.

___

___

I’m all about the Stove Top stuffing and getting a turkey breast instead of a whole turkey, so you don’t have to carve it. I guess what I’m saying here is that my choice is to be lazy!

___

___

Which works fine on Thanksgiving Day for you. But I think sometimes we look at other people and wonder why in the world they’re doing what they’re doing. Like with what your dad’s doing – it works for him and brings him joy.

___

The perfect meal

Then sometimes we make choices for ourselves based on what we think other people expect from us. We put pressure on ourselves to be perfect. Let’s keep the Thanksgiving theme going. We think we have to have the perfect meal – we have to serve the dinner on the china, the stuffing has to be homemade, we have to make the pies from scratch.

It’s what we’ve always done

We put all these pressures on ourselves because we think that’s what our guests expect. Those expectations may be based on tradition – this is what we’ve always done. Just because we’ve “always done” something doesn’t mean we should necessarily feel pressure to keep doing it every single time, or any time for that matter! There should be a good reason for it. 

Guilt

If you are strapped for time, if you are tuckered out, why put yourself through all of this extra work? You could just get a store-bought pie or call someone and ask them to make one or pick one up.

But if we do that, we feel guilty. Because we’re not doing what’s always been done, because our family’s going to expect that everything is going to be perfect – we’re going to have the homemade pie, the stuffing is going to be made from scratch, the turkey will be nice and golden, fresh out of the oven, ready to carve.

Who really expects it?

We do all of these things because we feel these expectations even though the people around us may not. We place all of this pressure on ourselves!

We may do this because we want everything to be perfect. That’s fine as long as it’s really your choice and you’re not doing it because you feel guilty if you don’t do it.

Conscious choices

Maybe if you really thought about it, and you talked with your loved ones, you might decide that the best solution is to go out for Thanksgiving dinner. Or have spaghetti with turkey meatballs!

That’s the point – it doesn’t matter what you do if you consciously make the choice. If it works for you and the people you care about, then it works! And this doesn’t just apply to Thanksgiving dinner!

___

___

Today we give thanks to you for joining us here. Next time, we’ll look at close encounters of the rude kind. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

Subscribe to the Bigg Success feed.

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
http://media.libsyn.com/media/biggsuccess/00272-112508.mp3

Related posts

Putting The Thanks In Thanksgiving

Putting The Giving In Thanksgiving

(Image by bjearwicke)

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What inspired you to write your latest book?

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I work with entrepreneurs and people who have been downsized, and I’ve found one thing that’s consistent. People know they could do better, work less, and make more money, but without someone stimulating their imagination, it’s very difficult to go through a change. So the book is designed to help people realize that, no matter what’s going on in their life, if they take one step or enroll one person at a time, they can change anything that isn’t the way they wanted it.

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When we talked before our interview, you said that this book goes beyond where The Secret took us.

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Exactly. I love the fact that The Secret brought consciousness to so many people about staying positive, but the one thing people missed is being in action. You have to be in action. It's not enough just to think about it. You have to take a proactive role in your life.

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What do you think keeps people from taking action … what is it that holds people back?

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Some people truly believe that they’re not entitled. Some people think it’s too much work to get what they want. Other people are too overwhelmed by what’s first, so they just stay at what they’re doing even if it’s not what they want.

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For someone who feels that, what would be the one thing you would tell them to work on right now?

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Make a list of all the things you want to change, but put it in the positive. I work with clients who want a better job. I get them to describe what it’s like to work at the company, what their tasks are, what the people are like that they work with. And then backtrack – how do we get to that point? So for anything that you want to change, what is the first step you can take to be in control? Because I think a lot of this is people feeling that they are out of control of their own lives.

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That is awesome … there’s a lot of practical advice that people can use right away in this book.

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It’s simple knowledge that most people don’t apply to their own life, even though they might be aware of it.

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Oprah calls it the “aha” moment. What do you call it?

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It’s the dawning of the day when, like in City Slickers, you get your “do over”. So don’t think, my life is just surrounded by quagmire, all my friends are always complaining and leaning on me, my relationship isn’t working … we’re fighting all the time, I hate my job, and all these things. Instead, think about every day being brand new. Every day, we get to reinvest ourselves.

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Sharon’s book comes with bonuses

You get an incredible $4,661 in bonuses when you buy Sharon’s wonderful book, including great material from:

• Annie Jennings, who helps people who want to be authors or speakers, and get interviewed on the radio.

• Dave Sheffield, who works with corporations, helping people take the first step to change what’s happening in their career.

• Jim Bouchard, a good friend of ours, who helps people tap into their personal power. Jim’s material alone makes it a great deal to us!

Find Sharyn's book at createyours2.com

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

Subscribe to the Bigg Success feed.

Related posts

How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be

Back To The Future: Visualizing The Life You Want (Part 1)

Back To The Future: Visualizing The Life You Want (Part 2)