Sometimes, some customers expect too much.

So do bosses, spouses, kids, parents, family members, friends and anyone else you have a relationship with.

Why do they expect too much?

We hate to do this. It’s something we rarely do. But we feel it’s necessary in this case. Before we try to fix the problem, let’s fix the blame.

It’s your fault!

You’re the reason they expect so much.

Before you get defensive, take comfort in this. We’re in the same boat as you are; it’s our fault with the people in our world.

What have we all done wrong? In most cases, it’s a communications problem. And a timing issue.

Let’s think about an example. A customer hires you to do a project. You’re excited to have the work. It will be great to get paid.

So you jump in and get started. You get it done. But the customer is far from thrilled. In fact, they’re unhappy.

They said they expected Y. You only delivered X.

You knew upfront that you were only going to deliver X. You didn’t price the job to provide Y.

But you never told the customer.

There’s the communication problem. Of course, you could tell the customer now. But that’s where the timing issue comes in.

Now, anything you say will sound like an excuse. And relationships aren’t built on excuses.

So what can you do?

In this case, we would eat the extra costs and deliver Y. But we would take a lesson away so we get a return on this unfortunate investment.

What’s the lesson?

You must communicate upfront if you want to manage expectations. Before you start a task, a project or a relationship, everything is open for discussion.

But expectations are being set based on those discussions.

When you tell a customer what you can’t do upfront, it’s an explanation. After the fact, it’s an excuse.

Set expectations upfront so you don’t have to make excuses. It leads to BIGG success!

How do you manage expectations?

Image in this post from stroinski

You hear radio and TV hosts say it all the time, “I’m up against the clock.” It’s a simple technique they use to cut the conversation short.

Isn’t it amazing how focused their guests get when they hear that magical phrase?

You don’t have to be a media star to use this technique in your life. You can keep yourself on schedule by keeping yourself up against the clock.

Keep your conversations up against the clock

Don’t be rude. But why not set a time parameter at the beginning of a conversation?

When you both know you have five to ten minutes (or however long you decide), you will keep the conversation from wandering.

There are times when you shouldn’t do this. For example, when you’re looking for a solution to a difficult problem, you don’t want to impair the creativity with an artificial deadline.

However, most conversations will be more productive by establishing an end time upfront.

Keep your meetings up against the clock

We won’t elaborate much on this one since it’s so obvious. Well, at least it should be.

Let every one on your team know the designated end time. When the conversation starts to stray, remind them.

It’s a great way to keep every on track without seeming like a tyrant.

Keep your projects up against the clock

Before you pull out a project to start working on it, determine how long you can work on it.

This works best for small projects. For example, we do this now when we write a blog post or prepare for a podcast. We find that we get them done much faster without sacrificing quality.

You’ll also do better carving up your bigger projects into sub-projects. Then you can treat them like a small project.

Keep your day up against the clock

Think of yourself as a show host. You have the whole day to do your show.

Now carve it up into segments. Work with different amounts to find one that works for you.

For example, we use 30 minutes. We pound it out for a half an hour. Then we take a five-minute break.

Get away from your desk. Stretch a little. Walk around. Breathe.

Three, two, one…you’re back at the desk. The show must go on!

We have to go now because we’re up against the clock.

How do you keep yourself up against the clock?

Image in this post from molpole

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Listen to the podcast, the first half of our conversation to learn:

*How Michael is living life on his own terms and how he’s gone from actor to author. (His acting credits include roles in: Sex in the City, Third Watch,  The Guiding Light, The Pelican Brief and more.)

*Why he calls “Book Yourself Solid” a love story disguised as a business book.

*Why marketing doesn’t get you clients.

*What the four modules for marketing are in the Book Yourself Solid “Seven Course Self Promotion Strategy.”

Visit BookYourSelfSolid.com to download two free chapters of the new updated and expanded edition of the book. Michael says it contains ninety-eight new pages, system improvements, and major rewrites to reflect how the world of marketing has changed.

When you download the free chapters, you’ll learn about personal branding and how to expand your network to meet the right people who can open doors for you.

Next time, find out how Michael’s “Red Velvet Rope Policy” helps you book the clients you want.

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file | podcast:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/biggsuccess/00664-012511.mp3

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I’m not trying to be rude, George, but it’s just talking and listening. How complex is that?

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Obviously it’s more than just speaking and listening, Mary-Lynn. Effective communication requires a meeting of two or more minds. A message has to be relayed and received. That’s more complex than many people think.

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Trust me George, you’re making it too complicated. You decide on your message. You relay it. It is received. Voila, communication!

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Think about it Mary-Lynn. First you have to decide on the message you want to convey. Then you have to think about your audience. You must state your message so your audience understands it. Then you have to hope your audience is receptive to your message. You have to find a way to engage them.

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As I’ve said before, it’s just talking and listening. As long as both parties understand that, communication is simple.

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To be honest, Mary-Lynn, I think communication is simple too, on the surface. It’s executing it effectively that is difficult.

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To make a long story short, George, I was just playing with you. I think you’re right. Communication can be very complex.

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Sometimes our quirks get in the way of the message. We send signals that we may not intend to send as you can see from the above conversation.

We could go through each of these one by one but you might accuse us of having a communication quirk if we did!

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WAIT …

So let’s get right into a technique we picked up along the way that keeps us from saying things we don’t need to say.

In many cases, these goofy little sayings are just a bridge to what we really want to say. They’re fillers that are unnecessary.

So the next time you’re embroiled in a conversation, WAIT. WAIT is an acronym for: Why Am I Talking?

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When I’m getting ready to say something, I just WAIT. I ask myself if I really need to say it. I think about how I will say it. It’s not fool-proof so I still say something foolish sometimes, but it’s really helped me communicate better.

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It doesn’t need to apply to just oral discussions. You may WAIT when you’re writing an e-mail. Just ask yourself: Why Am I Typing?

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In some cases, I discard the e-mail altogether. In other cases, it helps me really shorten it up. I still get carried away sometimes, but at least I get carried away consciously!

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How about this one: Why Am I Texting?

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This keeps me from feeling like I always have to respond one more time. It helps me look for that natural end to the conversation.

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Speaking of ends of conversations, we’ve reached it on this post. WAIT and you’ll avoid communication quirks that send the wrong signal. WAIT for bigg success!

What communication quirks drive you crazy?

Share that by leaving a comment, e-mailing us at bigginfo@biggsuccess.com or leaving a voice mail at 888.455.BIGG (2444).

Wait! We want to thank you so much for reading our post today.

Please join us next time as we discuss an important part of life balance we don’t often think about. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

Subscribe to the Bigg Success feed.

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
http://media.libsyn.com/media/biggsuccess/00488-092409.mp3

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From Twitter to Star Trek – Out of this World Communication

(Image in today's post by nookiez)

If we’re going to succeed bigg, we must learn to control our emotions. Otherwise, they will control us. This is particularly true for leaders. One of the emotions leaders must control is their anger.

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Anger works against communication

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I know from first-hand experience because I used to have a temper. Over time, I learned to control it because I realized it was counter-productive. People don’t respond well to it.

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That’s the point. It seems that, in most cases, people either withdraw or they get defensive. Neither one is conducive to productive communication.

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Getting it under control

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What helped me the most in controlling my anger was taking a step back – not necessarily physically, but mentally. Although, I have physically taken a step back when someone got too aggressive. It kept the situation from escalating.

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Of course, sometimes it pays to remove yourself from the environment altogether. Literally move to another space and relax for awhile before you respond.

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Responding like Goldilocks

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I’ve coached a lot of people on just that issue. This is another Goldilocks principle. You want to get your response just right. There’s a tendency to respond too quickly – on the spot – and with anger.

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You may win the battle but lose the war. The person retreats but the relationship is damaged. Or the other person comes right back and the conversation escalates to an even higher level of anger.

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Exactly. The other side of it is leaders who don’t respond quickly enough. You have to get back to the person in a timely manner or you’re essentially rubber stamping their behavior. As a young manager, I probably responded too quickly. As I got older, I may have been too slow at times. Hopefully, in my advanced years, I’m getting closer to a good balance.

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How you say it

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Know the purpose of your follow-up communication. Understand that how you say it is just as important as what you say. If you want to build the relationship, talk in the third person as much as possible. This is not the time for you-view. Try to frame the discussion like a reporter. Remove the personalities to diffuse the situation.

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Controlled anger can be a tool if brought out under the right circumstances:

Focus on the situation

When you express controlled anger, your people know you’re serious. You have to be careful with this one, but it’s okay to express anger about a situation.

This is an important distinction – be angry about the situation, not the person. You will keep things moving in the right direction with this mental shift.

Use it infrequently

This tool isn’t productive is used regularly. It has to be the exception. Otherwise, you’re the boy who cried wolf! If you only pull it out once in a while, it can serve a useful purpose.

The bottom line is to be yourself. It’s okay to let your anger show now and then. Just keep it under control and keep your purpose in mind when you respond.

Then you’ll build relationships rather than tear them apart. You’ll build your people up rather than bring them down. That’s bigg success!

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Thank you so much for checking in with us today. Please join us next time when we discuss reasons why you should keep your day job. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

Subscribe to the Bigg Success feed.

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
http://media.libsyn.com/media/biggsuccess/00433-070909.mp3

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(Image in today's post by atsoram)