Couples all over the world are proclaiming their love for each other. In many cases, that love is shown with gifts – diamonds, chocolates, teddy bears, and roses.

It’s the roses we want to talk about today. Do you remember the song Rose Garden, first popularized by Lynn Anderson? It goes like this …

“I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden.”

Did that help you remember it? The song continues …

“Along with the sunshine, there’s gotta be a little rain sometimes.”

Well, boy it sure is pouring right now! 

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Piling on

We face an economy that we haven’t seen before (or we were too young to really remember). And of course, financial disagreements are a leading cause of divorce as we discussed on a recent show.

When couples disagree, it makes a bad situation even worse. If relationship troubles get piled on top of financial challenges, it’s likely that the financial situation will only deteriorate more.

So you risk not only losing the roses, you may lose the whole rose garden! But there is a way to get the garden blooming again.

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My sister says something that I love … “Teamwork makes the dream work.”

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No one is an island. We all need key partners in life – personally and professionally. But the personal partners – whether you call them your husband, wife, significant other, life partner, mate, or something else – are the most vital part of our lives.

H.E.A.R.T.

So this Valentine’s Day, no matter what other gifts you exchange, give each other these give great gifts:

Help

Encouragement

Admiration

Respect

Teamwork

Help
We need to listen, really listen, to our mates. To what they’re saying and what they’re not saying. Because what they’re not saying may be more important.

They may be scared. They may be stressed. It’s important to try not to assume, to not try to read minds. Because we may very well assume the wrong thing.

Open up to your spouse. Don’t judge them. Be a refuge, a helper, in this time of storm.

Encouragement
We need to go beyond a willingness to help. We should actively encourage the person we love the most. Let them know that:

• You have every confidence in them.

• Together, you just know you’ll work through any difficulty you may be experiencing.

• You will stick by them through thick and thin.

Admiration
We’ll keep going … moving beyond a willingness to help and some encouragement. Do you see how we’re stepping into this?

You started out as a fan. Are you still? Brag about him or her now and then. Publicly. Out loud. You used to!

Hollywood portrays love mostly as a noun in the movies and on television. Love is something that just “happens.” But love is also a verb. It implies action. We sometimes forget that.

Respect
Once we’ve reached the admiration level, respect will come relatively easily. We are so careful about what we say to other people. But sometimes we fail to use the same filters with the person closest to us.

We see each other all the time so we just say what’s on our mind. It’s only human, but it can harm our relationship. We should treat our spouses with more respect than we treat anyone else. After all, they deserve it … they put up with us!

Teamwork
Now with the other four pieces of H.E.A.R.T. in place, we’re ready for teamwork. Make quality time for each other so your relationship remains strong. Work on your problems together. If opposites attract, use that to your advantage. Your two brains can find a solution that neither of you would have thought of on your own.

Teamwork really will make the dream work!

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Thanks so much for spending some of your time with us today. Join us next time as we talk about a group of people that is really suffering during these tough times. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

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Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
http://media.libsyn.com/media/biggsuccess/00330-021309.mp3

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(Image in today's post by iprole)

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Opposites attract

In many relationships, there is a spender and a saver. Or sometimes you have two spenders who spend differently – one who frequently buys little incidentals that may add up to a lot of money over the course of the year and another one who can’t resist the major purchases.

Is it wrong?

While some people are finding separate accounts the way to go, others think that it’s just wrong. They believe that it’s a bad sign if a couple doesn’t co-mingle their funds.

Does that stem from a time when you had one wage-earner in the home?
Is it a control issue?
Perhaps it has to do with religious beliefs?
Or maybe it’s a trust issue?

We don’t know the answer, but we do know that many couples are making this work.

Why it works

We think keeping separate finances works for a number of reasons. Among them:

• The saver isn’t frustrated by money being spent on things they think is unwise.

• The spender doesn’t have to defer gratification so long that they just can’t stand it anymore. 

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How it works

We’ve seen a number of ways to do this. Here are two examples:

The Allocators. These couples begin by allocating who pays for what. It’s a negotiation process. If you choose this system, determine your respective spending priorities. Then, whenever possible, let each spouse pay for those things they feel are most important. Divvy up the basics however you see fit.

Once you’ve figured out who will pay for what, each spouse then gets to spend, save or invest however they want.

The Allowancers. Okay, we struggled with a name for this group. That’s the best we could do!

Allowancers may maintain a joint account to pay mutual bills like the mortgage or the utility bills. Then they divvy up the excess as allowances.

But don’t forget to take out the trash or you may lose your allowance!

With their allowance, each spouse can save or spend however they want. One spouse may even save to spend … on that next major purchase.

A final thought

You may have heard us say this before, but our thought on this issue is this:

It doesn’t matter what other people think or even say. What does matter is that you find a system that helps you keep your finances in order. After all, they are a key component to living out your bigg dreams!

How do you and your partner handle your finances? 

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

Subscribe to the Bigg Success feed.

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
http://media.libsyn.com/media/biggsuccess/00326-020909.mp3

Related posts

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(Image in today's post by hisks)