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Treating If-Only Syndrome

prescriptionWhat do you do when things don’t go your way? You may feel discouraged. The events of life may just sap your strength of spirit. You lose your mojo!

It’s hard to live your life on your own terms when you’re feeling down, but it’s only natural for us humans to have down days.

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One cause of this is what we call If – Only Syndrome.

If only I had finished college.
If only I got a different degree.
If only I had taken that job.
If only I hadn’t quit that job.
If I had only done this instead of that, my life would be so different.
If only. If only. If only.

It’s easy to do. We start to beat ourselves up. We may even feel sorry for ourselves and mope a little.

As with many things, the right thing to do isn’t the easy thing to do.

Fighting these urges is hard.
Getting past the past is hard.
Lifting ourselves up is hard.
Fighting our natural urges is hard.

Focus matters

We get trapped on what might have been. What might have been doesn’t matter at all.

What does matter is what is and what can be.

You can be a bigg success. You can live your life on your own terms starting today.

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georgeI struggled with this when I was younger. I dropped out of college. I went on to start three businesses. But every time things got a little rough, I would beat myself up for not getting a degree. I thought that if I just had that degree, I wouldn’t have these problems. But I was wrong!

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The prescription for If – Only Syndrome comes in two parts. The first part of the cure is a healthy dose of …

So what?

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marylynnTo continue with George’s example, say you didn’t get a college degree. So what? How many people have succeeded bigg without a college degree?

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We don’t mean to diminish the importance of a good education. It does open up opportunities that may not be open otherwise. But it’s just one factor.

What about your experiences? They are irreplaceable.

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Now along with a healthy dose of “So what”, drink a little …

What can be?

Sticking with the college degree example, why don’t you get one now if it’s that important to you?

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georgeThat’s what I did; I went back to school. It’s not a path I would recommend. It was hard! I still had my three businesses, but I did go back and get a degree. It’s interesting … I then went on to get an advanced degree because I didn’t think I would ever go back to school again. Had I gone the traditional path, I doubt I would have ever gotten that advanced degree.

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What can be for you?

How can you make it happen? How will you find the time? How will you pay for it?

When you begin to focus on the actions necessary to move to where you want to be, you’ll feel energized. You’ll feel hope instead of discouragement.

What do you do when you feel discouraged?

You can share that with us by leaving a comment below, calling us at 888.455.BIGG or sending us an e-mail at bigginfo@biggsuccess.com.

Thanks for checking in on us today. It means so much to us!

Please join us next time as we discuss one of the largest mistakes many people make when it comes to building their brand.

Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

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Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
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The Power of Imagination

J.K. Rowling, best known as the author of the Harry Potter series, recently delivered an exceptional speech for the Commencement Ceremony at Harvard University.

It’s an amazing discussion of the power of failure and imagination. It’s definitely worth your time to read the full text, or watch the video. She said,

“We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we
need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.”

Each of us has the power within us to change the world. Do you doubt it?

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Steve Jobs didn’t doubt it.
He imagined a world where every person could have the same computing power that only large organizations had at that point. He dreamed of a world where computers were so user-friendly everybody could use them.

John F. Kennedy didn’t doubt it.
He had the vision that man could walk on the moon. He set forth his vision with the power of words to direct an entire country’s resources toward that mission. A short time later, Neil Armstrong uttered his famous words, “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.”

Martin Luther King didn’t doubt it.

He had a dream that people would be judged solely by the contributions they made to society, not by the color of their skin. His dream led to a movement to bring equal opportunity to all.

You may say that you don’t have …

… the imagination of JK Rowling. To create a world that can inspire millions of young people to read again at a time when everyone thought that only video games could attract them.

 … the creativity of Steve Jobs. To see the possibilities for individuals to have access to technology at their fingertips.

… the vision of John F. Kennedy. To see the impossible as possible and to inspire an entire nation to get behind the effort.

… the oratory skills of Martin Luther King. To put the need for change front and center on the agenda of his country and to move people to effect that change.

The unique power within you.
You do have the power to imagine a better world and make a difference in your own life and the life of others. Your imagination flows from your unique genetic make-up and your personal experiences.

No one else – who has ever walked on this earth, is here now, or ever will be – can duplicate what you have and who you are. You are one of a kind!

It’s up to you to live up to the potential that is within you … just imagine! How will you leave the world a better place? What are you doing now to make a difference in the lives of others?

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Am I Cut Out to Own My Own Business?

Bigg Challenge
Kendra started a business six months ago. It’s exciting, but also extremely successful. At times, she really misses the regular salary her old job provided. Lately, she’s even been looking at job openings and she’s seen some great opportunities. Sometimes, she really regrets that she gave up her corporate job. Her question for us: “Is she just not cut out for owning her own business?”

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Bigg Advice
Ultimately, Kendra, only you can decide if you’re cut out for it. However, we’ll offer some guidance on getting through this.

Stop tormenting yourself with the job openings.
If you reach the point, where you’re truly giving up on your business, THEN and only then should you start looking for a job. Some people might say that it’s a good thing for you to keep her options open.

They’re wrong!

Once you make a decision like this, you can’t constantly look at what might have happened if you did something else or what could happen if you completely change direction.

You have to commit to what you started out to do. If you don’t, you WILL fail. 

Develop your own internal process to stop the second-guessing.
This is closely related to the point above, but it is such an essential skill for entrepreneurs that we thought it needed to be separated.

As a business owner, there will be days when you’re on the top of the mountain and there will be days when you’re stuck in the valley. And there are few days in between!

When you’re stuck in the valley, your internal voice is one of the things that will help you get back to the top of the mountain. However, understand that as a business owner, you’ll be back in the valley again before long. It’s just part of the process. 

That’s why it’s so important to develop an inner voice that encourages you, rather than creating more doubt.

Develop a support network.
Friends are great, but you need to regularly converse with fellow business owners. Anyone and everyone who owns their own business will completely understand what you’re going through. They’ll give you that boost when you need it. And that includes us!

Thanks, Kendra. We wish you bigg success!

Keep yourself fired up by tuning into The Bigg Success Show!
Get a lesson and a laugh in five minutes or so!

Our bigg quote today is a good one, but isn’t attributed to anyone.

“Any belief worth having must survive doubt.”

If you stick to your beliefs, there’s little doubt that you’ll win.

Next time, we ask, “Who’s in control – you or your Blackberry?” Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

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Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes.

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