Tag Archive: family

Real Men Don’t Try for Work Life Balance

work-life conflict | BIGG SuccessA new study on the work-life conflict
by the Families and Work Institute shows that 60% of men are feeling extreme stress from trying to balance their personal and professional lives.

In fact, more men now experience work-life conflict than women!

Isn’t that a startling revelation?

The blurry worry

They’re feeling what we call “the blurry worry.” Our roles and our worlds have both been blurred.

In ancient times, men hunted while women gathered. In more modern times, men provided; women cared.

Now, both sexes do all of the above. The roles have been blurred.

And our personal and professional worlds are blurry as well. Technology is making us accessible at all times to everyone on either side of our lives.

Real men

So what is a man to do?

BIGG success is life on your own terms. Real men today want BIGG success throughout their life – in their careers and as a breadwinner, husband, father, son, friend, etc.

But they are increasingly frustrated because society crams an old paradigm down their throats: work-life balance.

So real men view their life as a system. Sure, the system has its components, but they are all part of one life.

Real men don’t buy in to work-life balance. It doesn’t work in an age of dual income couples, raising kids while caring for parents, increasing demands at work and home, and technology that puts us in touch 24/7.

Instead, they seek life sync. Sync means harmony, “a pleasing combination of elements in a whole” according to The Free Dictionary. Real men create life sync through discovery, design, and development.

  • Discovery

    Discovery starts with you. It begins internally before reaching out to other people. What do you want your life to look like? What’s your vision? What’s most important to you?

    Once you determine what you want, it’s time for conversations. But not just conversations – conversations with a purpose.

    Find what is expected of you at home and work. Go beyond expected to what is hoped for.

    Share your vision and values with the people closest to you. Find common ground.

  • Design

    Now you know what you want and what the most important people in your life want. It’s time for design.

    You want to design the life that fits you perfectly. It meets the needs and wants of the people who matter at work and at home.

    Once you think you have the right design, you’re ready for more conversations with a purpose. Get feedback from the people who will be affected by your design.

  • Development

    You think you have the ideal design. The key term in that last sentence is “think”.

    It’s time to build your life. This isn’t like building a building. It’s like building a business.

    That’s the reason we don’t say you’re the architect of your life. We believe you’re the entrepreneur of your life; building a life is more like building a business.

    So you start by testing. Test an idea. See if it brings you more harmony throughout your whole life.

    If it does, keep doing it. If it doesn’t, try something else.

    Keep testing to build the life that fits you perfectly. That’s BIGG success for real men (and women)!

Image in this post from ba1969

The Surprising Thing Others Expect from You

ug_of_war.jpgBigg success is life on your own terms. When we talk with people about their biggest challenge in living their lives on their own terms, one of the most common responses involves work – life balance in one way, shape or form.

___

 
icon for podpress  Hear George & Mary-Lynn discuss today's topic on The Bigg Success Show! Click the purple player to listen while you read: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

___

The tug-of-war

For many of us, it’s a perpetual tug-of-war. We love our family. We thoroughly enjoy our time with friends. We relish time to ourselves.

But we also love the work we do. We take pride in our accomplishments. Rightly so.

But we’re only human. We can’t be two places at once.

The result? We’re not as happy as we should be. We’re not completely fulfilled.

It may cause feelings of guilt. Depending on where the knot is in the tug-of-war we’re playing – which side is getting more attention – we may feel guilty about not giving enough attention to the other side.

When we’re at work, there are times when we may feel guilty about not being home. When we’re home, we may feel guilty at times about not working. It seems like a no-win situation!

The sacrifice

Research shows in our effort to have it all we’re sacrificing something that’s very important to our well-being: sleep.

So we end up dragging at work. Or we’re spent before we get home. By the time we get there, have dinner and do some household chores, we only have enough energy to crash on the couch.

But we keep pushing. Day after day, we push to the point of exhaustion until, finally, something inside of us says, “Enough!”

___

Get the tips and tools you need to be a BIGG success.
Subscribe to the Bigg Success Weekly – it’s FREE!

___

The surprising thing

Stewart Friedman is a Professor at Wharton and the author of a fantastic book on leadership. It’s called Total Leadership: Be a Better Leader, Have a Richer Life.

In his research, he has uncovered an answer to this work – life balance problem. It has to do with a surprising thing others expect from you. They expect … drum roll please …

Less!

Dr. Friedman’s research shows that other people expect a lot less of us than we think they do. In many cases, they’re not the ones putting the pressure on us. We’re putting undue pressure on ourselves!

You are the entrepreneur of a very important enterprise – your life. Just like any entrepreneur, communication with your key stakeholders is crucial.

  • Talk about expectations. Great entrepreneurs have these conversations with their employees. They talk about expectations with their investors. Follow that example – have a conversation about expectations with the key stakeholders in your life.
  • Discuss options. Ask for their help in discovering options so you meet their expectations.
  • Reach an agreement about respective participation in each other’s lives. Think of it as a service level agreement.

You’ll come away with a clear understanding of the expectations the most important people in your life have of you. Then you can focus on scheduling your days to meet those expectations. Or better yet, exceed them. After all, this is the community for bigg goal-getters!

Thanks so much for the gift of your time today.

We’ve heard over and over again that money can’t buy happiness. Please join us next time when we ask, “Can happiness buy money?”

Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

Subscribe to the Bigg Success feed.

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
http://media.libsyn.com/media/biggsuccess/00445-072409.mp3

Related posts

Flipping Work Life Balance

Taking Time Off to Get More Done

Why Work Life Balance Doesn’t Work

(Image in today's post by KevinKLuu)

Related Posts with Thumbnails
Free BIGG ebook
Email Newsletter icon, E-mail Newsletter icon, Email List icon, E-mail List icon Get your free ebook & goal planning tool when you sign up for our FREE Bi-Weekly newsletter.
Enter your email and press GO.
For Email Marketing you can trust
Logo_Headay Themes Logo_Bigg Studio
Logo_Start 

Blogging Today Logo_Bigg Success Idea 

Bank
Logo_IFV News