Bigg Successheated discussion | Bigg Success http://biggsuccess.com Life On Your Own Terms Sat, 11 Feb 2012 13:00:35 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 2006-2011 bigginfo@biggsuccess.com (Bigg Success) bigginfo@biggsuccess.com (Bigg Success) posts 1440 Life On Your Own Terms Bigg Success Bigg Success bigginfo@biggsuccess.com No no http://biggsuccess.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/Showlogo-144_144.jpg Bigg Success http://biggsuccess.com 144 144 How to Get Out of the Dog House http://biggsuccess.com/2009/08/06/how-to-get-out-of-the-dog-house/ http://biggsuccess.com/2009/08/06/how-to-get-out-of-the-dog-house/#comments Thu, 06 Aug 2009 07:00:09 +0000 George Krueger & Mary-Lynn Foster http://biggsuccess.com/?p=1897 dog_daysThis is the fourth show in our five-part Dog Days series. Sometimes, no matter how hard you might try, no matter how good you think you’re being, you still might find yourself in the dog house. So let’s talk about how to get out!

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Accept being in the dog house

Depending on how much barking was done, and who did the barking, you may want to accept being in the dog house for a short period of time.

After a heated discussion, the best prescription may be a cooling off period. Just stay in the dog house until you and the other person are both calmed down. Then you can broach the subject again.

Puppy dog eyes

When you do broach the subject, be sure to flash your puppy dog eyes. Let them see how sad you are that you upset them. In other words, approach them with humility.

You won’t get very far if you come back from the dog house barking. In fact, you’re likely to end up right back there!

If you come back with humility, you’ll be more likely to have a productive conversation.

Lick their face!

Figuratively … not literally.

Start the conversation with two of the strongest words in relationship building:

“I’m sorry.”

You may not feel like you’ve done anything wrong. That doesn’t matter if you made the other person feel something they didn’t like.

It may have been unintentional. That doesn’t matter either. It still happened.

Apologize for making them feel that way. Then ask questions so you can avoid the dog house in the future. At least for this offense!

If they start barking …

Don’t make them defensive. If they start barking, step back a bit. Usually not much gets accomplished if everyone involved is barking. So take a step back mentally – even physically, if it helps – and try again.

It’s amazing how productive a conversation can be when no one cares who was at fault. You can’t control the other person. You can only control yourself.

So don’t reflect blame right back. Try to reword it in a way that is more conducive to taking the relationship forward.

Try not to use the word “you” in a negative way. Look at two ways the same thing can be stated:

“You said blah.”

“When blah was said, it made me feel …”

Which one would make you more defensive? Obviously the second one keeps the conversation moving forward.

Oh … just one final point … when you do finally get out of the dog house, be sure to wag your tail!

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Please join us next time as we look at what it takes to be a bigg dog. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

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Related posts

5 Reasons for Lack of Progress

4 Secrets for Learning New Tricks

Relationships and the Dog Eat Dog World

(Image in today's post by mioawee)

]]> http://biggsuccess.com/2009/08/06/how-to-get-out-of-the-dog-house/feed/ 0 00:01:01 This is the fourth show in our five-part Dog Days series. Sometimes, no matter how hard you might try, no matter how good you think ... This is the fourth show in our five-part Dog Days series. Sometimes, no matter how hard you might try, no matter how good you think you#8217;re being, you still might find yourself in the dog house. So let#8217;s talk about how to get out! ___ ___ Accept being in the dog house Depending on how much barking was done, and who did the barking, you may want to accept being in the dog house for a short period of time. After a heated discussion, the best prescription may be a cooling off period. Just stay in the dog house until you and the other person are both calmed down. Then you can broach the subject again. Puppy dog eyes When you do broach the subject, be sure to flash your puppy dog eyes. Let them see how sad you are that you upset them. In other words, approach them with humility. You won#8217;t get very far if you come back from the dog house barking. In fact, you#8217;re likely to end up right back there! If you come back with humility, you#8217;ll be more likely to have a productive conversation. Lick their face! Figuratively ... not literally. Start the conversation with two of the strongest words in relationship building: #8220;I#8217;m sorry.#8221; You may not feel like you#8217;ve done anything wrong. That doesn#8217;t matter if you made the other person feel something they didn#8217;t like. It may have been unintentional. That doesn#8217;t matter either. It still happened. Apologize for making them feel that way. Then ask questions so you can avoid the dog house in the future. At least for this offense! If they start barking ... Don#8217;t make them defensive. If they start barking, step back a bit. Usually not much gets accomplished if everyone involved is barking. So take a step back mentally #8211; even physically, if it helps #8211; and try again. It#8217;s amazing how productive a conversation can be when no one cares who was at fault. You can#8217;t control the other person. You can only control yourself. So don#8217;t reflect blame right back. Try to reword it in a way that is more conducive to taking the relationship forward. Try not to use the word #8220;you#8221; in a negative way. Look at two ways the same thing can be stated: #8220;You said blah.#8221; #8220;When blah was said, it made me feel ...#8221; Which one would make you more defensive? Obviously the second one keeps the conversation moving forward. Oh ... just one final point ... when you do finally get out of the dog house, be sure to wag your tail! ___ Get the tips and tools you need to be a BIGG success. Subscribe to the Bigg Success Weekly #8211; it#8217;s FREE! ___ We thank you so much for the gift of your time today. Please join us next time as we look at what it takes to be a bigg dog. Until then, here#8217;s to your bigg success! Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes.#160; Subscribe to the Bigg Success feed. Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file: http://media.libsyn.com/media/biggsuccess/00454-080609.mp3 Related posts 5 Reasons for Lack of Progress 4 Secrets for Learning New Tricks Relationships and the Dog Eat Dog World (Image in today#39;s post by mioawee) Personal,Growth bigginfo@biggsuccess.com no No