At most schools, you can take a class in speech communication. You’ll learn how to deliver a topic TO an audience.

The College of Communications at most universities are for journalists, advertisers and film makers. They’re all people wanting to communicate TO you.

You can take English to learn how to write. It’s important to be able to express your thoughts TO your readers.

So is it any wonder that, when many people hear the term “communication”, they think about getting their message out?

Yet communication is a two-way process. Where do you learn how to listen?

At BIGG Success, of course! Today, we’ll share 7 tips to listen better for your BIGG success:

Hear George & Mary-Lynn share these 7 tips on The BIGG Success Show podcast. Click a player to listen.

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Communication can never be efficient if it’s not effective. Important conversations deserve your complete attention.

Conversations occur between people. People are important. So every conversation is an important one.

So take a deep breath and relax a little before you begin a conversation.

If you simply know you don’t have time, just say so. It’s better to push off a conversation to a time when you can give it the attention it deserves.

Put away the distractions

Yes, we’re talking about your mobile device. Sorry to tell you this, but you can’t truly listen and text or search at the same time. At least we can’t.

But it’s not just mobile devices. You may have been working on something. It’s right there…right in front of you. You’re deep into it when someone approaches you to talk.

Acknowledge them. If you know you can find a stopping point, let them know it will be a few seconds, or a minute, or whatever you think.

If they can’t wait or you know it will be a while, see if you can agree to a later time.

But when you talk with them, physically set everything else aside so you can give them your undivided attention.

By the way, this is just as true for phone calls as it is in the flesh.

Stop the voices in your head

Do you ever form your response while the other person is talking? If you do, you’re human. If you do, you’re like us.

Stop it! Listen.

Force yourself to do it. It will be uncomfortable at first but eventually it will become a habit.

The sound of silence

We cringe at moments of silence [insert pause here]. But they’re not bad. [insert another pause here].

In fact, if you stop the voices in your head, you’ll need moments of silence. They’re the time to formulate your response.

By giving your brain time to process what you’ve heard, you’ll communicate more effectively and efficiently.

Be sincerely interested

Listening requires you to be genuinely interested in what the other person is saying. If you aren’t sincerely interested, and depending on the situation, you have at least three choices:

• End the conversation
  

Hey, that’s not nice. But it’s nicer than feigning interest.

Because what do you do when your spouse…oops, we mean the person you’re talking with…ends their thought with a question?

Suddenly, the blood rushes to your head. Your heart starts beating faster. Your head is spinning…what are you going to do?

They’ll know you weren’t listening. Oh no!

• Change the topic
  

A better choice may be to change the topic. Introduce something you are interested in or that’s more relevant. But look for cues about whether the person you’re talking with is interested as well.

• Find a way to make it interesting
  

Listen is a verb. It implies action. So take action.

Inquire about something they said. Sometimes a conversation is much more interesting when you get below the surface.

Talk is cheap

Or so they say. And maybe they’re right.

Talk is an incredibly small part of communication.

Look for non-verbal cues. What do they convey?

Just make sure you don’t get so busy checking for non-verbal cues that you forget to maintain eye contact. If you do that with the wrong person, you may get slapped!

Understanding the importance of understanding

As an entrepreneurial leader, you must become a great communicator, if you aren’t already. It’s more important than ever in business today.

Dialog can occur without communication. Communication occurs at the point of understanding. When all the parties involved understand each other’s point-of-view, communication has occurred. It leads to BIGG success!

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file | podcast:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/biggsuccess/00711-062311.mp3

Image in this post from Murielle

So far we’ve discussed two of them – responsibility and resiliency. Today we’ll chat about the 3rd R of bigg success – relationships.

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We are living in the age of interdependence. It’s amazing how much can be accomplished by working together.

It all starts with a relationship. We’re moving forward by jumping back. Relationships have always been important. Now it’s possible for any of us to build a worldwide network of relationships for work and play!

The value of your network

The single greatest asset you can possess today is your network. It will never show up on a Balance Sheet. It’s really difficult to put a hard number to it. But its value shows up when you need to accomplish something.

Are you able to reach out to the people in your network to get it done?
How many people are between you and the person you need to talk to?
How quickly were you able to get it done?
How long it would take a person without your network?

These are the signs of value in your network. Of course, the value of a single relationship can be thought of as the amount of goodwill you have with a person.

So the value of your network is simply the sum of those individual amounts.

6 ways to build up your Goodwill account

You are the entrepreneur of your life. As the entrepreneur, you want to build value. So here are 6 tips to build goodwill in your network, one relationship at a time.

• Listen attentively.

The more interested you are in another person, the more interesting you’ll be to them. The more impressed you are by them, the more impressed they’ll be with you.

Isn’t that ironic? By making them feel important, you’ll be important to them.

So listen. Really listen.

If you’re communicating face-to-face, put any and all mobile devices away. Act as if there is no bigger fish with whom you might want to converse. Look them in the eye. Really pay attention with all of your attention.

You don’t have to do it for hours. You can excuse yourself. But while you’re talking with them, make it all about them.

Once you get this one down, the rest are easy.

• Be genuine.

You probably immediately see how this dovetails with our first tip. People can spot a fake quickly.

Sincerely value them. The only way we know to show them that you sincerely value them is to actually sincerely value them!

As a human being.

Not a connection. Not a contact. Not a sale. Not a prospect. Not a means to an end.

As a real person with feelings and dreams and fears. As a person with whom you relate on a personal basis.

• Understand what bigg success means to them.

This won’t be your first question. But if you are going to build a relationship, it’s important to determine what they are trying to accomplish.

What does life on your own terms mean to them?

It’s unlikely that you will ever utter those words directly. You will uncover this by listening attentively. There’s Tip 1 again!

When you discover what they are trying to do, you can look for ways to help them.

• Help is a two-way street.

As you uncover the layers that exist, you will be able to share your knowledge, resources and network with them. By doing so, you become a valuable part of their network.

But it has to be a two-way street. If they never reciprocate, then you don’t have a relationship.

You have a feudal system. You’re not their servant. They should be looking for ways to help you too.

• Show your appreciation.

One of the most powerful sentences you can utter is “Thank you”.

When they share their knowledge with you, thank them. When they provide a resource, thank them. When they connect you with someone in their network, thank them. Also follow up to let them know how it turned out.

• Be patient. 

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I’ve had friends for years who were just that – friends. Sure, we may have done some business with each other, but nothing of any significance. Then suddenly an opportunity presents itself and they become a vital partner. You just never know.

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So maintain your existing relationships. Build new relationships. It’s likely that the time will come when you will be able to work together in a mutually beneficial way.

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Until then, have some fun and enjoy the friendship! Life comes down to relationships and experiences. Build relationships and you’ll be a bigg success!

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Thank you so much for reading our post today. Next time, we’ll discuss the best source for learning how to reach bigg success. Please join us. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

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Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
http://media.libsyn.com/media/biggsuccess/00466-082409.mp3

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Mike Massimino, aka Astro_Mike, one of the astronauts on a mission to the Hubble Space Telescope, sent the social media world abuzz and made history with the first tweet from outer space.

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Hundreds of thousands of people were part of the conversation through the power of technology. Isn’t it cool that distance is no longer a barrier to communication?

This tweet came just days after the new Star Trek movie hit the theaters. So we decided to look there for examples of out of this world communication.

Miss(ed) communication

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Before we get into quotes from Star Trek, I’ve heard from several female friends that a guy on a first date should never say, “My hero is Captain James Kirk.”

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And don’t to a Trekkie convention for your first date either! That’s not very romantic.

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I think it highlights that, whether in romance or not, when you’re communicating with someone for the first time, it’s good to listen. It’s not all about you.

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Try to discover your mutual interests instead of just talking about yourself. Of course, if you do happen to be talking with a bigg fan of Star Trek, then “engage” as Captain Jean-Luc Picard would say.

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The Next Generation was my favorite of the series. I loved Picard’s leadership style and the dynamic he had with the crew, particularly #1, Commander Will T. Riker.

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“Make it so” to move to action

Another famous Picard saying. The crew would discuss the issue at hand. Picard was great at listening to the input of his team. Finally, he would say “make it so” and the discussion would end.

As the leader, you reach a point where you have to make a decision and communicate it so you and your team can get on with implementing it.

“I concur” to shorten meetings

From the Where Silence has Lease episode, Picard gives a command to abort autodestruct. The computer asks Riker if he concurs. Riker responds, “Yes, absolutely, I do indeed concur wholeheartedly!” Picard responds that a “simple ‘yes’ would have sufficed.”

This made us think of meetings. One person says something. The next person agrees with what was just said. However, they repeat everything – perhaps in different words. Nothing is added to the conversation.

It’s an important communication because it shows that there is a consensus. But instead of going on and on about the same thing, ask your team to simply say “I concur”.

Even a simple “yes” will suffice! You’ll find your meetings will be much more productive.

“Never lose you. Never.”

This quote is from The Naked Time, an episode in the original series, Captain Kirk utters these words in a room by himself.

While we may be stretching his meaning here a bit, it made us think about the most important communication of all: self-communication. You have to find a way within yourself to stay true to yourself and encourage yourself so you can keep pushing on.

All motivation is self-motivation.

Oh, but don’t forget one important rule about this one – don’t do it out loud if there are people around!

The new movie

We liked Christopher Pike’s line to Kirk:

“You've always had a hard time finding your place in this world, haven't you? Never knowing your true worth. You can settle for less in ordinary life, or do you feel like you were meant for something better? Something special."

We have a friend who says, “Do you want me to tell you what you want to hear or what you need to hear? Because I’m happy to do this either way.”

It’s not always easy to listen to what we need to hear. However, sometimes the best communication isn’t what we want to hear.

This quote from Star Trek also emphasizes that – when criticism is required – we should be constructive and move as quickly as we can to encouragement. Veer to the positive so you build up the person with whom you’re talking.

We couldn’t leave out the tribbles!

One of the most famous Star Trek episodes is The Trouble with Tribbles from the original series. Scotty explains how he finally got rid of the little creatures:

“Just before they went into warp, I beamed the whole kit and kaboodle into their engine room, where they'll be no tribble at all."

Nobody knows the tribble we’ve seen!

It’s good to inject humor into almost any conversation. Word plays are often a great source of humor. See how many ways you can use the same word or phrase to keep the laughs going!

Communication brings us, and keeps us, together. Improving communication skills is a key to being a bigg success in any world. Live long and prosper!

Do you have a favorite out of this world communication?

Please share it with us by leaving a comment below, calling us at 888.455.BIGG (2444) or sending us an e-mail at bigginfo@biggsuccess.com.

Thanks for letting us into your world today!

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Please join us next time when we take ourselves out to the ball game. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

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Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
http://media.libsyn.com/media/biggsuccess/00394-051409.mp3

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(Image in today's post from Astro_Mike)

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His wife, Cheryl (Courtney Thorne-Smith) pointed out to him that the kids had barely looked at the presents they got the year before. In fact, one was still in its original package – it had been unwrapped but never opened and played with!

Maybe that kid was just a collector at heart!

But this show made us think … sometimes we get caught up on getting something new and not reflecting on the gifts we already have. So today we want to unwrap some of our most special gifts.

If you want to listen to us open these gifts, just click the “play” button above. Otherwise, picture each package being opened …

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Why don’t you kick it off, Mary-Lynn?

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This one is a real, real special one. It’s the gift of my Dad. He had a bit of a health scare going into the holidays. He’s fine – clean bill of health. So thank you, God. I love my gift this year! Alright George, it’s your turn.

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My gift is memories of Mom and Dad. Mom’s been gone a couple of years now so it’s still somewhat fresh, I guess. I think about the things I learned from them, the things that helped make me who I am, for better or worse – I can blame them! I had a very special Mom and Dad and I’m very thankful for that. Now, you’re up Mary-Lynn.

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Oh, yes … we’ve had a cold winter here in Illinois. There have been nights when you just hear that wind outside howling and I am inside and toasty warm! So the gift of a nice warm house is something I’m very, very grateful for this year.

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We often don’t stop to think about the basics and how many people there are who don’t even have something as simple as that.

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Exactly. Alright, George, tear into the next one.

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One of the features of our car is remote unlock. Man, as we’ve been out shopping in the cold, it’s really nice to be able to find your car quickly because it winks at us. And of course, to be able to get right in once you’re to it.

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That’s a good one. Okay, I’ll open the next one. Ah, the gifts of our kitty cats – Fifi and Fraidy. We have original cat names, don’t we? Boy, they just give us gifts all year long … loving and purring.

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Yeah, and sometimes they leave us a little something on the floor!

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We don’t like those gifts at all!

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Okay, let’s open the next one. It’s for both of us, Mary-Lynn. Let’s see what it is … ah, it’s our families. You have a great family, Mary-Lynn. Love your dad and your sister.

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You have a great family, too. Your sisters are all so fun – listening to all of the siblings laughing together. It’s just so nice!

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Yes, and the in-laws aren’t so bad either. A cool group of nephews and now, one little niece. And Mary-Lynn, while we’re on family, I have to say that I’m also very thankful for you.

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Ah, that’s so sweet. I’m thankful for you too. You’re a special man!

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It brings up the point, though. I think sometimes those closest to us are the people we most take for granted. We often don’t show them the appreciation we should.

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Yeah, I forget about you all the time, George.

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I know you do!

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George, I’ve got to tell you … I think we scored this Christmas.

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I’m with you on that – but Mary-Lynn, I just noticed something … over there in the corner, it looks like there’s another bigg present for us.

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Alright, let’s open it up … ah yes, of course. This is something we’re really grateful for.

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We’re grateful for you! The fact that you spend time with us like you do – you share your insights, you listen to our show, you read our blog posts. However you spend time with us, we’re just so thankful.

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You are the reason that we get to do what we love to do! That is such an amazing gift and we thank you so much.

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So to you we say, whatever your chosen holiday at this time of year, we wish you and yours the very best. For us, it’s Christmas … so Merry Christmas!

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(Image in today's post by orangeNess)

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Mehrabian’s rule

When you’re trying to communicate emotions, think about the three V’s: verbal, vocal, and visual. They are the three parts of what has become known as Mehrabian’s Rule – 7% of your message is given verbally (the words you use), 38% comes vocally (the tone you use), and 55% is delivered visually (your facial expressions and body language).

We see from his research that, when we’re trying to convey feelings or attitudes, the overwhelming majority of the message comes through non-verbally. If the verbal and non-verbal don’t agree, people will rely on the non-verbal.

Choosing your medium

Therefore, understanding the three V’s of communication helps you prevent misunderstanding. If the recipient of your message can’t hear and see you say the words, your message may get diluted.

E-mail is convenient, but it can be easily misunderstood because it’s only words. What about text messages?

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A friend of mine told me that her husband’s ex-wife texts her husband about problems with their kids. My friend gets frustrated after several rounds of nothing getting solved. She says she tells him to just call his ex-wife.

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So choose your medium carefully if you’re trying to convey feelings or attitudes. Some media only use one part of the communication trio, and a very minor one at that!

If you’re just relaying facts, e-mail is fine. If you want to express more than that, your message may get diluted. A phone call enriches the conversation because you bring in the voice. And while it’s not always possible to meet face-to-face, it is your best bet for your most sensitive communication.

Speaking of which …

Let’s apply this to a presentation, whether your audience is one or many. How you say what you say, and what you do when you say it, are actually more important, in getting your message across, than what you say.

What?

It’s hard to explain this in just words. Hey, that illustrates our point!

You can say, “I’m excited.” If you say it with enthusiasm in your voice while standing straight up, your audience will believe you. If you say it like Droopy says, “I’m happy” and slouch while you’re saying it, your audience may doubt you.

People remember the impression more than the words. So if you want to connect with an audience, it’s important to practice your inflections and your gestures to make sure they’re congruent with your words.

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We really appreciate you reading our post today. If you listened to our show, you could’ve heard our appreciation in our voices! Join us next time when we get a visit from a very special guest – Santa Claus. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

Subscribe to the Bigg Success feed.

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
http://media.libsyn.com/media/biggsuccess/00289-121808.mp3

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(Image in today's post by ilco)