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Stop Trying to Fit into the World

Written on February 27, 2009 by George Krueger & Mary-Lynn Foster in Balance

puzzle_piece Here we are. It’s February 27. And we don’t know what to do. You see, last year was Leap Year and we got married on Leap Year Day, February 29. So we’re ready to celebrate our one-year anniversary and the date doesn’t exist!

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marylynn
I guess you’re off the hook, George!

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george
Well, now Mary-Lynn, it takes two to tango!

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Of course we knew this when we got married, but we still thought it was fun to get married on Leap Year Day. We get a lot of jokes about it.

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marylynn Yeah George, you get a lot of high fives from the guys because they think you only have to remember our anniversary every four years!

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george
They think I’m a genius!

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One of the interesting things we learned about February 29 is that it doesn’t exist as an option on many drop-down lists. For instance, people born on Leap Year Day can’t enter their correct date of birth. Or, if you’re like us, and you were married on Leap Year Day, the real date often isn’t an option.

We don’t fit into the world. So what are we going to do about that? What do you do when you don’t fit into the world?

Our answer is to make the world fit us instead of trying to fit into the world.

We realized that this is an opportunity to make lemonade out of lemons, as the saying goes. So we’re not going to celebrate on February 28 or March 1. Nope.

We’re going to celebrate on both days!

First, did you notice that, by making the world fit us, we get to celebrate twice as much?
Now that’s a good deal! And that’s often the case – if we stop trying to fit into the world, and instead make the world fit us, we end up much happier with the results.

Second, it doesn’t have to work for anybody but us because it doesn’t affect anyone but us. We’re perfectly happy celebrating for two days instead of one. We’re just fine with the date of our wedding not being on the calendar every year. Because it made us come up with a better alternative!

And in being forced to come up with that better alternative, we ended up with an answer that’s even better than if we weren’t faced with this situation. We will get to spend even more time together.

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marylynn
Hey, I just thought of something … does this mean double the gifts?

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george You’ll just have to wait and see, Mary-Lynn. But I just thought of something too. What do we do in 2012 when there actually is a February 29?

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marylynn Hmmm, that’s a good question. I guess we’ll have to celebrate for three days … three times the gifts sounds like a good deal to me! Now I’m the genius!

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Thanks for checking in with us today. Join us next time when we discuss the lost art of making change. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

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(Image in today's post by danzo08)

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How Dual Income Couples are Bucking Traditional Roles

Written on July 17, 2008 by George Krueger & Mary-Lynn Foster in Life Planning

man_woman The Council on Contemporary Families published a summary of previous studies, looking at data over 30 to 40 years. Here are some highlights:

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1. Men’s share of household duties doubled as a percent of the total over last 40 years, from 15 percent to 30 percent of the total. The number of hours women spend on these same duties has declined over that period.

2. The younger the couple, the higher the share of household duties performed by the man.

3. Time spent caring for children tripled for men and doubled for women over the same period. Couples are placing much more emphasis on spending time with their kids than they did 30 years ago.

4. The longer a woman works outside the home, the greater the percentage of household responsibilities assumed by the man of the house.

5. Men are working less and spending more time on family duties. Women are trending in the opposite direction.

6. When the woman of the house works more hours, earns more money, or has more education than the man, the man’s share of family duties increases.

7. About one of out three couples now has a woman who earns more than the man.

They pointed out that there had been an expectation of immediate change when women started working. That didn’t happen to the disappointment of many! However, over the span of a few decades, things have changed quite a bit and they predict this trend is here to stay!

The bigg payoff

Couples are redefining what it means to be the man or the woman, the father or the mother, in a relationship. This summary shows that the divorce rate is lower when couples divide up the duties more equally. In fact, it’s even lower than with the traditional relationship where one person is the breadwinner and the other person runs the house.

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george Mary-Lynn and I both grew up in a traditional family that stayed together. But we’re pretty non-traditional.

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marylynn Yeah, I remember that my mom was always in the kitchen. I determined long ago that wasn’t for me! She kept telling me “you’re going to have to learn how to cook, what are you going to do when you are out on your own?” I told her I would just meet a guy who knew how to cook and marry him. And that guy is George! And let me just add…he’s an AWESOME cook!!!
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Roles are getting redefined so don’t listen to what other people say. If it works for you, your spouse, and your family … it works!