With Valentine’s Day upon us, we thought we’d weave some quotes about success in love into a story. Here we go…

“People who are sensible about love are incapable of it.” ~ Douglas Yates

“There is no remedy for love but to love more.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

“To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best.” ~ William M. Thackeray

“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” ~ Alexander Graham Bell

“John Lennon said, ‘All you need is love.’ John obviously never met my bank manager.” ~ Danny McCrossan

“Love at first sight is possible, but it pays to take a second look.” ~ Author Unknown

“Love is not blind – it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.” ~ Julins Gordon

“To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness.” ~ Robert Brault

“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.” ~ Tom Robbins

“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.” ~ Anais Nin

“Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.” ~ George Carlin

“Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

“It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing. It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving.” ~ Mother Teresa

“Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate.” ~ Sandra J. Dykes

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Jon Swanson

No intent to convert here but just a warning – if you’re offended by the mention of Jesus (oops, that means we just offended you), you’re going to be offended (more)! Otherwise, continue reading.

Jon tells about a time when Jesus had been up all night healing people.

As dawn arrived, he walked away. He went to a secluded place.

But people came looking for him. They pressed him to continue his good work.

But Jesus said no. As Jon points out between the two posts, Jesus said no for three reasons:

1) Purpose

You have a reason for being. It’s your purpose.

You are meant to do something BIGG. It’s your destiny.

But there’s a magical word for keeping your life in balance – No! You must learn to use regularly if you’re going to fulfill your purpose.

It’s what Jesus did in this case. You will be well served to follow his example.

2) Decompress

You’re human. You need to rest. Even Jesus needed to rest.

Sleep – it’s what we sacrifice to maintain work-life balance. Or at least some semblance of it.

If you’re like us, you work and work and work. And you can’t shut it off like a light.

You quit for the day physically before you quit mentally. So in order to get a good night’s sleep, you need to spend some time decompressing.

3) Seclusion

Most of us work hard and long these days. You need to rest now and then. You have to know when to say when.

Jesus demonstrated this in this example. Sometimes you just have to stop and rest.

Just make sure you don’t fall into the trap with your free time. We often think craving seclusion is bad.

Being reclusive is a negative. It’s a sign of deep problems.

Spending time alone now and then is a plus. It will help you refuel and stay on course to your destiny.

Sometimes you just have to get away to be a BIGG success.

How do you know when it’s time to get away?

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How do you resolve conflict at work? Or in your personal life, for that matter? There are four ways to go about it:

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Go ahead. Get mad. Get it off your chest. You’ll feel better. Who cares about anyone else?

As you might guess, this is one way to handle conflict. But it’s not an effective way to resolve them.

Throw up

Okay, not in a literal sense. But you can spew negativity to anybody and everybody who will listen.

Oh, with one exception – you won’t talk with the person or persons who have it in their power to resolve the conflict.

Clam up

Don’t say a word. Just take it. Internalize everything. Deal with it. And feel your blood pressure rise along with the acid reflux.

This is another way to handle a conflict but not one that’s recommended.

We saw a great post by Megan Hustad on Fortune’s site. It explains how silence can cost you in another way. With jobs still hard to come by, she points out that a lot of people are afraid to rock the boat.

The irony is that you may be better off doing just that. She quotes Joseph Grenny, co-author of Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High.

He says while workers feel clamming up increases their job security, the opposite is true. Job security is increased by dealing with conflicts at work in a way we haven’t yet talked about.

Step up

Deal with conflict directly but gingerly. Talk to the person or persons who can do something about it. Be the emotionally mature adult in the room of people we’ve discussed above.

People who resolve conflicts are just as valuable as people who find a resolution to any other problem. Demonstrate how valuable you are by tackling issues head on.

• Know the purpose of your conversation before you ask for it
  

  The critical point-of-view is that you are having a conversation, not a confrontation.
  

  As Grenny points out, you can show respect while being candid. You can be honest without being brutal. You can be assertive while being civil.
  

• Focus on fixing the problem, not the blame
  

  Explain the situation in a way that doesn’t make anyone defensive. One of the best ways to do this is to fix the blame on things, not people.
  

  Here’s a model: When X happened, people felt Y. For example, when the policy changed, people felt taken advantage of.
  

  Yeah, because another way of saying that is: You changed the policy. Now everyone thinks you’re a jerk who is out to screw them over.
  

  Would you get defensive if someone said that to you? Most people would. Who could blame you? So keep the conversation productive with the words you use.
  

• Practice, practice, practice before the actual conversation
  

  You can do it in a mirror while you’re putting on your makeup or shaving in the morning. Watch and listen while you do so you can make sure you’re conveying the message with the tone of your voice and your facial expressions.
  

  Find someone you can role play with. Simulate the environment as closely as possible. If you will be sitting, sit while you practice. If you will be standing, stand. You want to work on your body language while you rehearse.
  

If you don’t have any conflict, you’re probably not doing enough. Conflict is a healthy thing. Conflict is an opportunity.

But only if you step up. It will make you stand out from the crowd which leads to BIGG success!

What tip do you have for resolving a conflict?

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file | podcast:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/biggsuccess/00780-021012.mp3

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Do you have a decision to make? Are you unable to make decisions? Here’s a tactic we heard on the To the Lost episode of Boardwalk Empire:

Flip a coin.

Whether it comes up heads or tails barely matters. What does matter is how you feel when it’s in the air. What are you hoping for?

It’s your intuition at work. And ultimately, it can be an important decision-making tool. If you prefer, you can use a Magic 8 ball to make your next decision.

(Unless you usually get it wrong. Then you may want to use
George Costanza’s technique.)

Whatever you do, there’s an important concept underlying these methods. It’s a systematic way to apply your intuition. Once you grasp it, it will help you make decisions in life.

Frame your options as a binary choice: heads or tails, yes or no, this or that, either or.

For example, let’s say you want to start a business. One question you may ask is when.

So get out your coin. Heads you’ll go into business now. Tails you’ll wait.

Flip the coin in the air. Do you feel a knot in your stomach? Which side do you want to come up?

More importantly, don’t stop there. Take the hoped-for answer and expand on it. Create a series of choices:

Part-time or full-time? Online or off? Start or buy? Independent or franchise?

Of course, the choices will be determined in part by the type of business you want to own. Step-by-step, you’re creating a decision tree.

By getting it on paper, you’ll be able to quickly see how choices now affect options later. You can weigh what you’re giving up against what you’re getting. Then you’ll be able to make a decision that leads to BIGG success!

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We’re always looking at models here at BIGG success. Recently, we’ve been thinking about our prehistoric ancestors.

Here’s the progression: BIGG success is life on your own terms. You own your life. You’re the entrepreneur in charge.

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Our ancestors had well-defined roles for their family business.

The men largely hunted. The women gathered. The children didn’t just play; they helped. They contributed. They learned about their future jobs.

Everyone was involved in the family business. And there was a genius to its organization.

Hunting

Hunting was a risky activity. If the right thing went wrong, you could pay the ultimate price – your life.

The returns were intermittent. Some days, there was a BIGG payoff. On other occasions, there was none.

But make no mistake – the payoffs had to come frequently enough for the family unit to survive.

When they came, the family feasted. When they didn’t, the family survived on the gathered items.

Gathering

Gathering was a low-risk activity. You may get hurt, but you weren’t likely to lose your life from it.

It yielded steady returns. These returns were a nice addition to the family feast when the hunt was successful. On days when there was no kill, the family could subsist for a period of time on what had been gathered.

Two types of income

Modern finance theory works much the same way. It suggests that investors should allocate a portion of their portfolio to riskless assets (i.e. treasuries).

For the rest of it, hold risky assets (e.g. stocks).

Like the family unit of the past, modern investors use this hunting-gathering mindset. Risky assets hunt for intermittent, high returns while the risk-free assets steadily gather income.

The rationale for this is to optimize your money stream. You earn more money given the risk by balancing your portfolio between the two types of assets.

It’s also a clue to optimize your money stream now.

4 strategies to optimize your money stream now

As we said before, BIGG success is about entrepreneuring your life. As the person in charge, you can use the hunter-gatherer model to optimize your money stream now.

Here are four ways you can do it:

• Keep your job and start a part-time business
  

  While holding down a job is not risk-free these days, it provides a steady money stream. It’s gathering. You do the work. You gather the income.
  

  In your spare time, start a business. It’s the hunting side. The income you make may be intermittent until you get established. But it will allow you to feast once it takes off!
  

• Build a portfolio career as a business
  

  This is a ramped-up version of the first one. It seems to work particularly well for people in mid-career and beyond.
  

  Instead of trading time for money as you would with a job, turn your expertise or talent into a business.
  

  Instead of only having one customer (your employer), build a business with multiple clients.
  

  Just be sure to not just sell time for money. Sure, it’s a career but why not think BIGG and build a business, too!
  

• Start a business full-time while your spouse holds down a down
  

  Another alternative if you have a supportive spouse is to start a business full-time now. Your spouse can provide the steady income from his or her job.
  

  This is how many couples get started in business. Once the business takes off, the other spouse can work in the business too or start their own.
  

• Do one of the above and invest in businesses
  

  This is the BIGG play. Combine this strategy with one of the others to put your progress on steroids.
  

  Money and time are two of the five elements of BIGG success. They are your two resources.
  

  You only have so much time. You can leverage your time with money.
  

  Instead of working a business yourself, invest in one with someone who does the work. Get your money working as hard as you do. That’s BIGG success.
  

Want to optimize your money stream but aren’t sure where to start?
Maybe we can help!

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file | podcast:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/biggsuccess/00779-020812.mp3

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