Tag Archive: opinion

The Mommy Wars and Life On Your Own Terms

women and life on their own terms | BIGG SuccessA media frenzy occurred recently when Democratic consultant Hilary Rosen said on a news network that that Ann Romney, wife of Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney, never had to work to pay the bills and should not be her husband’s advisor on women and the economy.

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She was responding to a statement Mitt had made on the campaign trail about women telling Ann that economic issues are the ones they care about most. Rosen said: “His wife has actually never worked a day in her life.” She’s never really dealt with the kinds of economic issues that a majority of women in this country are facing.”

After the backlash, Rosen apologized: “As a mom I know that raising children is the hardest job there is. As a pundit, I know my words were poorly chosen.”

Since BIGG Success is life on your own terms, we wanted to take on this subject and some of the arguments surrounding it.

Mitt is rich

It’s true that life on your own terms will have its limitations based on your circumstances. But what are you doing today to help you get to where you want to be? Maybe you can’t get exactly where you want, but how close can you get?

We don’t have complete control over what happens to us in life. A marriage falls apart. Your position at work is cut. Your health takes a turn for the worse. A career choice doesn’t pan out.

You can be angry at those who have what you don’t, but that’s not going to help you! What will help is to adapt and transform your vision.

She’s never had to work to pay the bills

We have chosen to work together here at BIGG Success. It is a partnership that helps us live life on our own terms. In both of our cases, our parents decided as a team that dad would work and mom would stay at home. That was life on their own terms. We know couples who have kids and both work. Like we’ve always said…if it works for you it works! And it takes work to make it work.

She can’t relate to working women

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Mary-Lynn FosterMy mom worked her tail off at home. Cooking, cleaning, being our “chauffeur”, taking care of the bills.

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George KruegerMom was the CFO and COO of the household…if not the CEO. Come to think of it, maybe my dad was just labor!

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Mary-Lynn FosterI chose to have a career outside of the home. But I could certainly still relate to my mom. I admire the sacrifices she made to live life on her own terms.

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Regardless of the decisions each of us make, there are commonalities that we all share.

Religious pressure and feminism

There are religions that encourage women to put family first. There were even societal pressures for a long time that did the same. Ultimately, a woman has to decide for herself what she wants.

The women’s movement of the 1960′s and 70′s sought and achieved equal rights and opportunities for women in their economic activities, in their personal lives, and in politics.

Women today can choose their direction in life. So why on earth would a woman insult and discount another woman for the choice she made? Doesn’t this contradict what the movement was all about?

The 2-g’s in BIGG stands for “goal-getters”. Goal-getters don’t let jealousy get the best of them. Goal-getters adapt when obstacles get in the way. Goal-getters surround themselves with people who can help them achieve their goals. Goal-getters don’t insult those who’ve walked a different path. Goal-getters learn from everyone’s experiences. Goal-getters are empowered by choice. Goal-getters don’t let anyone tell them what their terms should be. That’s BIGG Success.

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A View that Leads to Bigg Success

watchBigg success is life on your own terms. Our focus today is growth, one of the five elements of bigg success.

We tend to avoid information that’s not consistent with our beliefs. There’s been a long-running debate between psychologists:

Do people actively avoid contradictory information or is it a more natural process? For example, it may be that we don’t hear opposing views because we hang out with people like us.

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Some new research [PDF] (led by a psychology professor at the best school in the world, the University of Illinois) has answered that question.

If you seek opposing views, you’re in the minority

The research confirms that people do avoid ideas that disagree with their own. They did this study to “see … to what extent people are willing to seek out the truth versus just stay comfortable with what they know.”

The researchers found that two-thirds of us choose information that supports what we already think. However, the more interesting part of their research to us was this:

They found that two types of people are more likely to listen to alternative points-of-view:

People who are confident in their own beliefs

We were out with a friend right after we read this research. The timing was perfect. She’s very politically active – politics is one area the researchers cited that we’re particularly reluctant to consider the other side.

Our friend told us that she no longer subscribed to a certain magazine. She said that she found she always disagreed with their point-of-view. After further discussion, it was clear that she’s not confident in her opinions.

If she had confidence in her opinions, it wouldn’t bother her to read the other side. In fact, by reading the other side, she might gain confidence in her positions. Or she might change her mind, but be more confident in her new opinion.

The best way to confirm your opinion is to continually test it against all the information available. Talk with people who hold counter opinions. Read everything you can. Try to balance opinions on all sides of an issue before arriving at a conclusion.

Even then, continue testing that opinion with any new evidence you find, both pro and con. Then you’ll have confidence in your opinions.

People who have to defend their ideas in public

It’s interesting that the researchers cite the much-maligned politicians here. Politicians constantly have to defend their point-of-view.

They serve as an example to us. Don’t keep your opinions to yourself; defend them.

We should point out two things here:

  • You have to be careful discussing certain subjects with certain people.
  • We’ve talked about things here in very black-and-white terms. Obviously, many if not most issues are full of grey. That’s what makes for interesting discussion!

When you do discuss your ideas, you will hear other points-of-view that you can synthesize with your own. Your ideas will sharpen and grow. So will your confidence in what you believe.

That’s bigg success … as long as you agree with us!

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Thanks for reading our post today. Please join us next time when we’ll discuss what we can learn from cats about communication. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

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