BIGG success is life on your own terms. So let’s talk about two terms that can be used to describe someone – assertive and asshole.
You may be way ahead of us on this one. We had never noticed it until recently. They both start with the same three letters.
Which raised several questions in our minds:
How similar are they?
Is it just a matter of degree?
Is there a fine line between the two?
The answer is a resounding no! These two terms are not part of a continuum; they are separate lines. They are diametrically opposed.
Let’s look at seven differences between being assertive and being an asshole.
- An assertive person is a positive force. The asshole generates negative energy.
- Someone who is assertive is confident in their own abilities. An asshole is often insecure.
- The assertive person builds themselves up by also building up others. The asshole feels better about himself or herself when they tear other people down.
- A person who is assertive seeks win/win. An asshole is perfectly content with win/lose.
- An assertive person says, “No, thank you.” The asshole says, “Hell no.”
- Assertive people are still buddies. Assholes are bullies.
- The assertive person has no problem admitting when they’re wrong. The asshole will talk even louder, call you names, and fight even harder to convince you that you’re wrong.
- Someone who is assertive operates from strength. Assholes work from a position of weakness.
It’s this last one that we found striking. When you look up the antonyms of assertive, you see terms like weak, wishy-washy, and mild.
Assertive people know where they want to go. They’re solid in their beliefs. People know where they stand. We all deal best with people when we know what to expect from them.
But it’s the last antonym that really struck a chord – mild. We’ll translate that as shy.
Assholes may not be shy, but a shy person may get labeled as an asshole! Shyness is often misinterpreted as another unfavorable term – stuck up.
So know what you stand for. Know where you want to go. And don’t be afraid to ask people for help. Only strong people behave this way. Assertiveness is a key to BIGG success!
Has assertiveness helped you?
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