The Most Important Person to Love
Do you remember the old song, If Loving You is Wrong, I Don’t Want to be Right? We have our own version here at Bigg Success. It goes like this, If loving ME is wrong, I don’t want to be right.”
We’re talking about this today because we often treat other people better than we treat ourselves. For example, we would never say to someone else, “You suck.” Do we say some version of that to ourselves?
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This is a great topic for me, because I can be very self-critical. I would never say to my best friend, or a colleague, or even George (I’m saying that with a smile in my voice), some of the things I say to myself.
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For whatever reason, we think it’s okay to speak to ourselves differently than we would someone else. We don’t filter it at all. We don’t think about presentation. It’s so incredibly important – especially when we’re talking to ourselves.
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I think it has to do with our expectations. For some reason, I’ll expect myself to be absolutely perfect on absolutely everything. I’m setting myself up for failure.
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We’re not promoting a religion or trying to convert you to anything. However, as we prepared for this show, I remembered a verse from the Bible. Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” We often focus so much on “love your neighbor” that we forget about “as yourself.” Inherent in this quote is this – if you don’t love yourself, you can’t love your neighbor.
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Yet somehow we think we can. Somehow we think we don’t have to care about ourselves, but we can care about others. We don’t have to give to ourselves, but we do give to others. That leads to a feeling of emptiness.
It may be our human nature – we do care about other people. We do reach out to others. Often we put ourselves second, but we should put ourselves EQUAL to our neighbor.
It’s important to give to others. We get a lot of fulfillment out of serving others. But we also need to give to ourselves, to serve ourselves. Otherwise, our well runs dry.
Hey, another song comes to mind – Love, Love Me Do!
4 ways to show the love to yourself
#1 – Cut yourself some slack!
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We’re human – we shouldn’t expect ourselves to be super-human. I always think I can get more done than is humanly possible. I come by it honestly … my dad was the same way! I think I can take one more phone call and still make that next appointment on time. Then I get upset with myself when I can’t do it. I’m still learning to live on human time.
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#2 – Edit that self-talk
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I have learned to constantly monitor my self-talk. It’s easy to be negative but what good does that do? How does that help you achieve your goal? How does that help you make any changes?
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This is a bigg one. When you’re getting ready to tell yourself something, think about it. If it’s negative, stop dead in your tracks. You have to do it, because if you don’t, you’ll get discouraged. It’s a habit you have to break. Look for a good, positive solution instead.
#3 – Pamper yourself
We pamper other people. We celebrate other people’s victories. We congratulate them when they do something well. We wish them happy birthday.
Celebrate your birthday. It’s baloney to say you don’t celebrate them any more. You should. It’s your birthday, for crying out loud! Pamper yourself, too. Treat yourself just like you would your best friend.
#4 – Get in touch with yourself
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It’s a simple thing I do every day. I go for a walk. It serves two purposes for me – I get some exercise and I get outside of myself. I enjoy watching the squirrels play in the tree and the fishies in the lake near our home. It’s a good to get away and it’s good for me. It makes me feel good. Do those little things every day that make you feel good, that get you in touch with yourself and what you love.
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Mary-Lynn’s comment made me think of another song title … When I think about ME, I touch myself!
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How do you show yourself the love? Share with us by leaving a comment.
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