How Fear of Failure Holds You Back
Let’s face it: If you’re breathing, you occasionally feel at least a hint of fear of failure. In episode #1195 of The BIGG Success Show podcast, George & Mary-Lynn explain why even the most successful people you know – or know of – occasionally feel afraid of failure. It shows up as procrastination, perfectionism, overthinking, or outright avoidance. It’s a common feeling, and even a survival mechanism, as your brain is trying to protect you from pain.
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Fear of failure keeps more people stuck than almost any other internal struggle.
It’s not just a common feeling — it’s a mindset that stops capable, driven people from exploring their full potential. Whether you’re aspiring to start a business, change careers, or simply pursue your BIGG dreams, fear of failure can quietly sabotage your progress.
In this episode we’ll explore:
- Why fear of failure shows up
- How it operates inside your mind and behavior
- Action steps to move through it
What is Fear of Failure?
Before we get into our main points let’s answer the question, what exactly is fear of failure?
It’s more than just not wanting to fail. It’s an anxiety or avoidance response that shows up whenever there’s a risk of not meeting expectations. It’s a paralysis that sets in when you worry that you’ll be embarrassed, look incompetent or foolish.
So it’s easy to see how this fear of failure can hold you back if so much of your self-worth is tied up into not failing or appearing to fail
But the the real risk is that you won’t put yourself in situations where you might fail. Which doesn’t give you the chance to make mistakes, learn from them and grow!
Why fear of failure shows up
Beyond worrying about disappointing yourself or others, Why Do We Fear Failure?
We humans hold one of two core mindsets: a fixed mindset or a growth mindset, according to the Growth Mindset Theory, developed by Carol Dweck, a psychologist at Stanford University.
- A fixed mindset treats ability as unchangeable. Failure feels personal.
- A growth mindset treats challenges as opportunities. Failure becomes feedback.
This one shift in mindset, from challenges to opportunities, leads to major change for the better.
Without a growth mindset, fear creates a loop: you imagine risk, your brain warns you not to start, and avoidance keeps you stuck—often feeling frustrated or guilty.
5 Action Steps to Break the Fear Cycle
#1: Reframe Failure
Instead of thinking: “What if I mess this up and look bad?”
Ask yourself: “What would I learn if this didn’t go perfectly?”
You’re not trying to become fearless. You’re trying to become fear-competent. It means you learn to act, despite feeling scared. That’s real courage.
Remember: failure is feedback. If a plan doesn’t work, it tells you something important about what to adjust next.
#2: Start Small (Micro-Wins)
BIGG goals feel scary because they feel BIGG. So…make them smaller.
Instead of: “I’m going to build the whole business by Monday…”
Try: “Today, I’ll write one paragraph of my first draft of my business plan.”
Small wins build confidence fast.
Here’s a trick: set 2-minute tasks to overcome procrastination. Just plan to work for two minutes. Once you’re in motion, momentum usually follows. This simple habit flips fear into forward motion.
#3: Use “Yet” to Reframe Thoughts
When you catch yourself thinking: “I can’t do this.”
Add one word: “I can’t do this…yet.”
That tiny shift flips from fixed thinking to growth thinking — opening your mind to learning instead of fearing defeat.
#4 to break the fear cycle: Track What You Learn
Create a simple reflection habit.
After every effort (whether it “succeeds” or “fails”), ask:
- What did I try?
- What did I learn?
- What will I change next?
This transforms mistakes into strategy notes — not shame.
Emerging research shows that this type of “failure log” doesn’t just reduce fear. It also makes learning faster and confidence stronger.
#5: Build a Fail-Forward Toolkit
Fear shows up physically through butterflies in the stomach, tense shoulders, a fast heartbeat, etc.
Here are quick tools to calm your system before action:
- Breathing: inhale 4, exhale 4 (repeat 5 times)
- Grounding: notice 3 things you can see, 2 you can hear, 1 you can feel
- Movement: jump, stretch, or shake it out for 60 seconds
These simple moves break the fear loop and prepare your brain to think clearly instead of in panic mode.
Why Action Beats Avoidance Every Time
When in it comes to overcoming fear of failure…action beats avoidance every time. Here’s why…
Most people wait to feel confident before acting.
Here’s the irony: confidence comes after action, not before it.
The more you act, the more evidence you create that you can do it.
You gain confidence by moving, not by thinking about moving.
That’s the exact kind of shift people experience in our Life Map Course – turning fear into strategy, clarity, and forward progress.
The Life Map Course doesn’t erase fear, but it gives you tools to use fear as fuel. You get clear direction, step-by-step planning, and confidence builders that make your fear less paralyzing and more productive.
BIGG Assignment
That brings us to this episode’s BIGG assignment from The Professor:
Pick one goal you’ve been avoiding because of fear.
Then complete these 4 steps:
-
- Write it down – clear and specific
- Break it into the smallest next step you can take
- Execute that step (even if your fear score is an 8/10)
- Afterward, write two things:
- What you learned
- One thing to do next
Goal: Take real action, not perfect action. Make progress, not excuses.
BIGG Takeaway
Remember This: Fear of failure doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you care about something meaningful.
But your fear wins if you never move.
Your potential grows the moment you choose action over avoidance. Even when you’re scared.
It leads to BIGG success!
Next time, we’ll talk about a completely different fear: the fear of success. We’ll look into why that really is a thing and what YOU as a BIGG goal-getter should do to avoid it. Follow our podcast in your favorite app so you don’t miss the show.
Here’s to your BIGG success!
George “The Professor” & Mary-Lynn
Co-Founders, BIGG Success
