The Hidden Cost Success Can Have on Relationships

Relationships matter as much as achievement. In episode #1204 of The BIGG Success Show, learn how success can affect connection—and how to build a life that’s rich in both.

[Podcast Transcript]

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[George] I was talking with someone recently who, by most measures, had been very successful. At one point he said, “I know a lot of people, but I don’t feel deeply connected to many of them.”

I’m honored to be one of those he feels connected to…but that stayed with me.

He wasn’t lonely. He had plenty of relationships. But it made me realize there’s a difference between knowing people and feeling connected to them.

And I think that’s one of the hidden costs success can sometimes bring.

You’ve worked hard. You’ve achieved a lot. So why can success sometimes feel surprisingly lonely? We’ll explore this side effect of success and share how to build a life that feels connected, meaningful, and truly successful. We’ll share:

• Why successful people are especially vulnerable to loneliness
• The hidden relationship costs of achievement
• Networking is NOT the same as building relationships
• Meaningful relationships require consistent investment
• How to create success without becoming disconnected

Why Successful People Are Vulnerable to Loneliness

Most people think loneliness comes from being alone. But loneliness isn’t the absence of people. It’s the absence of meaningful connection.

You can sit by yourself and feel perfectly content. Or you can be in a crowded room and feel completely alone.

Many achievers eventually recognize something they never expected: Success solves a lot of problems. But it doesn’t automatically create belonging.

In fact, some of the qualities that help us succeed can unintentionally work against connection.

– Ambition requires focus.
– Responsibility consumes time.
– Achievement demands energy.

Before long, relationships get pu shed into the background while goals move to the front. Not intentionally. Just gradually. That’s often where loneliness begins.

The Hidden Relationship Costs of Achievement

What are the hidden relationship costs of achievement? To find the answer, Arthur Brooks – author of The Meaning of Your Life, suggests you ask:

“When did you last make a real friend?”

Many people struggle to answer this simple question. And when they do, the answer is often someone they met twenty or thirty years ago.

Why? Because friendship was once built into life. School. College. Neighborhoods. Sports. Shared experiences.
Friendships happened naturally.

Enter adulthood. It changes everything.

Now friendship competes with careers, family responsibilities, financial goals, and endless to-do lists.

Connection stops being automatic. It becomes intentional. And many of us never make that shift.
We assume we’ll focus on friendships later. After this project. After this promotion. After things calm down.

The problem? Life rarely calms down. The people you’ll need ten years from now are often the people you’re investing in or neglecting today.

Friendship compounds. And… so does its absence. It’s the hidden relationship cost of achievement.

Both matter. But one cannot replace the other.

One of the longest-running studies on happiness, the Harvard Study of Adult Development, found that strong relationships are one of the biggest predictors of happiness and well-being.

Not titles. Not income. Not accomplishments. Relationships.

That’s not a reason to stop pursuing your goals. It’s a reminder that success becomes more meaningful when it’s shared.

Meaningful Relationships Require Consistent Investment

Here’s a question: Do you intentionally plan your relationships?
Most people plan their careers. Their finances. Their vacations. Their fitness goals.
But very few plan their relationships. They assume connection will happen on its own.
Sometimes it does. But often it doesn’t.

Healthy relationships require attention:

• A phone call.
• A lunch.
• A walk.
• A text message.
• A simple check-in.

The good news? Connection doesn’t require huge amounts of time. It requires consistency – small moments repeated over time create strong relationships.

The same principle that builds wealth builds friendship. Tiny deposits. Made regularly.

How to Create Success Without Becoming Disconnected

The goal isn’t choosing between achievement and relationships. It’s building both. At BIGG Success, we believe success means creating the life you want—not just earning a living, but building a life that feels meaningful.

That requires looking beyond career goals alone. Ask yourself:
– Who are the people I can truly count on?
– Who would call me if they needed help?
– Who have I unintentionally drifted away from?
– What relationships deserve more attention right now?

Those questions often reveal more than any productivity system ever could.

This is one reason we encourage people to create a Life Map.

A meaningful life isn’t built by accident. It requires intention. And relationships deserve a place on that map right alongside your financial, career, and personal goals. Learn more about our Life Map Course.

BIGG Assignment

That brings us to this episode’s BIGG Assignment from The Professor…

This week, do a Relationship Audit.

Create three lists:

1. Your Core Circle
The people who matter most.

2. People You’ve Drifted Away From
Friends or family you’ve lost touch with.

3. People You’d Like to Know Better
Individuals you’d like to build a stronger relationship with.

Now choose one person from List 2 or List 3. Reach out within the next 48 hours.

Not next month or when things slow down. This week. One message. One call. One coffee. One small step.

Because friendship compounds. And today’s small investment can become tomorrow’s priceless relationship.

BIGG Takeaway

Success isn’t just about what you accomplish. It’s also about who you share the journey with.

But, a full calendar isn’t the same as a full life. The goal isn’t simply to create a successful life. It’s to create a life that’s deeply connected by design.

Because, in the end, the relationships you build often become the richest measure of your BIGG success.

If this episode resonated with you, we’d love to continue the conversation. Join our BIGG Success community for practical ideas, encouragement, and inspiration delivered straight to your inbox.

Next time: Success isn’t just about who you spend your time with…It’s also about what you give your attention to. Join us next time as we explore why your attention may be your greatest asset, and how to protect it. Be sure to follow the BIGG Success Podcast so you never miss an episode.

Here’s to your BIGG success!

George “The Professor” & Mary-Lynn

Co-Founders, BIGG Success

P.S. 

Who are the people you can truly count on?