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Battle Scarred vs. Battle Scared

battle You’re probably familiar with the term “battle scarred,” which refers to the scars from wounds received in combat. Most of us are fortunate to not have to engage in real warfare where the scars are visible (i.e. physical) and invisible (i.e. mental). Our battles are more esoteric so our “scars” tend to be only the second kind – mental.

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Today we want to talk about a different word – battle scared. It’s amazing what a difference that one “r” can make.

By our definition, “battle scared” means that the damage done in combat is so severe that the injured party doesn’t push on.

It’s possible to be battle scarred without becoming battle scared.

People who are battle scarred start with an open wound that leaves only a scar over time. For people who are battle scared, it’s as if the wound never closes.

Mentally, the battle is still fresh in their mind. So they’re unable to fight again today. Two people can engage in the same battle and experience the same thing. One pushes on to fight another day (the battle scarred) while the other can’t live with the memories of the battle (the battle scared).

An example: the recent financial crisis

We have an example of a battle recently – the financial troubles rolling through the economies of the developed world. We all may feel a little battle scared at this point because it is still so fresh in all of our minds. It’s important to pause and reflect so we’re only left with the scars of the battle.

Learn the proper lessons
“Stocks are too risky.”
“Playing the stock market is no different than gambling at a casino.”
“It’s the government’s fault.”
“It’s the banks’ fault.”

These are the wrong lessons to takeaway from this battle. They are the reactions of the battle scared.

“I took on too much debt.”
“I spent more than I took in.”
“I didn’t create a safety net for myself.”
“I focused too much on what I wanted now and not enough on my future.”
“I should have seen that stocks were risky.”

These are the right lessons to learn from this calamity. The battle scarred will come away with these things in mind.

Make the proper adjustments.
“I’m going to close out my 401(k).”
“I’m never going to invest in stocks again; they’re too risky.”
“I won’t take any risk ever again.”
“You can’t trust anyone.”

These knee jerk reactions are common among the battle scared.

“I’m going to have an emergency stash.”
“I’m going to get out of debt.”
“I’m going to learn to allocate my portfolio so I get decent returns for the risk I’m taking.”

The battle scarred will make adjustments, but they won’t go from one extreme to another.

Giving up gets you nowhere

We have to keep fighting. We have to learn the right things from every battle so we can make the correct adjustments. We should gain wisdom from the battles we fight. That wisdom will help us win the war faster with more certainty.

If we become battle scared, we fail. We fail to take advantage of the opportunities that will present themselves in the coming days. We fail to reach our full potential. We must resolve to learn from our battles and make the adjustments necessary to win the next one.

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We’re so glad you stopped by today! Come back next time to learn how to get on the radio as an expert in your field. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
http://media.libsyn.com/media/biggsuccess/00268-111908.mp3

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BIGG Success is one year old

Thanks to You, Bigg Success is One Year Old!

BIGG Success is one year old

Hey it’s party time! We’re celebrating the first birthday of BIGG Success. We’re so excited to have come this far. We weren’t sure we would make it!

Seriously, though, we want to take this opportunity to say one simple thing …

Thank YOU!

We couldn’t do this without you. There would no reason to keep doing it if you didn’t visit us. So whether you check in every day or every now and then, we thank you so much.

It wouldn’t be any fun to do this if you weren’t here. We feel fortunate that more people are discovering Bigg Success. From site visitors to podcast and newsletter subscribers –  we’re seeing more people every month in every category. We thank you so much for sharing Bigg Success with your friends and business associates!

We also check page views and show downloads and we see that you’re consuming our content faithfully. We’re just thrilled that you take time out of your busy schedule – and we know how busy you are – to check in on us like you do.

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Your Emotions and Your Money

expert-session_joan We’ve all witnessed the ups and downs of the stock market. Recently, it seems there have been more “downs” than “ups.” There are a number of ways to respond. We’ve heard from many people that they’re afraid to open their quarterly statements.

In another Bigg Success Show Expert Session, we talked with Joan Sotkin. Joan is the creator of the popular web site Prosperity Place and the author of the award-winning book, Build Your Money Muscles. Joan has been helping people understand and improve their relationship with money for over 25 years.

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5 Feelings People Associate with Money

Joan has an interesting take on money. She says that the emotions you bring to your money – those underlying feelings you have – greatly impact how you manage your money.

During our Expert Session, Joan told us about the five major feelings that people associate with their money: 

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joanWhat you bring to your numbers is based on who you are – how you think, what you believe, and how you feel. In my book, I identify the five major feelings that people act out through their money – anger, shame, deprivation, a sense of being trapped, and a sense of aloneness. One of the main feelings people act out with their money is their sense of aloneness. “I can’t run out of money; I can only run out of people, because money is always attached to people. So if I owe you money, you won’t forget about me.”

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We found this very interesting. Owing someone money may enter our minds as a good thing, because it means we have a relationship.

Another thing we like about the Expert Session is Joan goes into the feelings about retirement plans. She digs in deeper to explore feelings of anger and fear.  

Why more money may bring more struggles

A lot of people find that the more money they make, the more difficulties they have. Why is this? Here’s what Joan says:

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joanThere are nine exercises in my book. I start with turning the toilet paper around in a new direction so you can get used to changing. People have to adapt to the process of change because it’s very uncomfortable. When you change, you go through a period of disorientation. When you move from one house to another house you want to be in, stupid things happen. You don’t where anything is. You lose your keys or your wallet. You bump into walls. I call those the “moving stupids.” When you start changing how you “be” in the world – when you start responding differently to things – your life is going to change. That gets uncomfortable. I spoke to someone the other day who said, “I’m just at that place again. Every time I start making more money, something happens and I get back to the same old point again.” Because you have to learn how to deal with more money. It feels different. It’s amazing how much feeling comes with money — $10,000 feels different than $1,000. It’s that disorientation of change that makes people give up what they’re doing and go back to their old ways of doing things.

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Even before this financial turmoil we’re going through kicked in, we read that there is the psychological profession is experiencing growth helping people understand the psychology behind their money decisions. We applaud Joan for being ahead of her time, because she’s been looking at this for years!

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We dig even deeper in our Bigg Success Show Expert Session
called
Finding Peace in Financial Chaos.

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In addition to what we’ve already discussed, Joan talks about how your financial identity and the vocabulary you use affect your results. You’ll also learn how to connect to your feelings so you manage your money better. And there’s so much more in the forty minute discussion in one easy-to-download track!

Next time, we’ll talk about time vampires. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

 

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
http://media.libsyn.com/media/biggsuccess/00251-102708.mp3

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5 Steps to Make an Unhappy Customer Happy Again

love We’ve all heard the basic rules of customer service. But they deserve repeating before we discuss how to resolve a customer complaint.

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Rule #1: The customer is always right.

Rule #2: If the customer is ever wrong, reread Rule #1.

These two rules are sufficient most of the time. However, sometimes we must realize:

Rule #3: The customer may not always reasonable.

You must know your boundaries in dealing with an unreasonable customer. If you’re a leader, you must communicate these boundaries to your people so they are effective when customers complain.

5 steps to make an unhappy customer happy again

Step #1 – Let the customer vent.
Before you can attempt to resolve the situation, you must understand it. Find out exactly what is troubling your customer. 

Step #2 – Listen attentively.
While this is really part of Step #1, it is so important that it bears special emphasis. Pay attention to what your customer is and isn’t saying. What are his or her specific objections?

#3 – Restate the complaint or complaints.
Wait until he or she has completely “unloaded”. Then, repeat back to your customer the complaints he or she has registered.

You may say, “Please let me make sure I completely understand your concerns.”  Then restate the complaint.

Step #4 – Assure them.

This is not to say that you agree with him or her. It simply lets your customer know that you recognize how they feel.  There is a difference!    You may say things like:

* “I can understand why you might feel that way.”
* “I can see your point.”
* “I can appreciate that.”

#5 – Find out what they want.

Everything has led to this point.  Simply ask the customer this question: “What would you like me to do?”

If you have handled yourself correctly up to now, you will find they will usually ask for less than you would expect.  If so, give it to them! If not, offer them a reasonable option to resolve the issue. 

Let them decide how they can be happy again.  It will be rare when you can’t find a good solution that makes both of you happy.

Complaints are an opportunity

Good things can come from a customer complaint. You can learn how to improve your procedures.

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georgeI once owned a carpet cleaning business. I remember a customer complained because we didn’t get the furniture put back exactly where she had it. We had a chair misplaced by about an eighth of an inch. From that day on, we asked every customer to look at the room before we left to make sure we had everything in the right place. Our customers were thrilled at this simple change in process!

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Remember this, if a customer is unhappy, they’ll usually do one of two things:

Take their business elsewhere or complain. Which do you prefer?

Research shows that customers, who have had problems resolved to their satisfaction, produce three times the revenue of a customer without a problem. On top of that, they are much more likely to recommend you to their friends and family.

Sounds like a good reason to try to make unhappy customers happy again!
 

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Want more tips to help you be a BIGG success?
Subscribe to the Bigg Success Weekly – it’s FREE!

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Next time, we’ll discuss what you have to do BEFORE you hire an employee. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

 

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Strategies for Becoming More Confident

By Bigg Success Staff
09-11-08

Life Skills

rise_to_the_top 

The difference between those who are successful and those who succeed bigg is confidence. Elite athletes and those who are peak performers in their career have high self-confidence.

Here are some of the techniques they use to be at the top of their game:

Practice Consistently

The only way to be ready to "step up" is to put in the work. When the game is on the line, the Yankees are always happy to see Derek Jeter at the plate. When the pressure is on, Derek shines. Experience, along with countless hours of practice, allows us to master our craft and perform confidently.

Disregard Doubt

If we focus on what we can do, rather than what we cannot do, we can overcome self-doubt. Where is the benefit of worrying about the unknown? Winners push down feelings of doubt, by focusing what they know they can do to finish the task at hand.

Try Harder

If we label a defeat as a "failure", we are telling ourselves we lack ability and count ourselves out. Confident people never admit to defeat or feel defeated. They just try harder to achieve their goal next time. They look for ways to improve their effort through preparation, concentration, skill execution, or other factors.

Play to Win

When we play not to lose, our focus is negative and reactive. When we play to win, we aren't afraid to take chances and take control.

Manage Emotions

When we face adversity without confidence, we tend to get angry, upset, depressed, or pessimistic. When things don't go our way and we are confident, we don't get emotional, we don't give up, and we find a way to overcome the situation.

Success Breeds Confidence

Bring more success your way, by recalling your past successes. Remember your accomplishments and that feeling of success. Remind yourself that you can do it!

Find Success

Confident people recognize their accomplishments on a consistent basis. They set small achievable goals along with bigg ones. They structure success into their daily lives by setting and accomplishing meaningful, attainable goals.

Success Networks

Confident people reach out for help to get to where they want to be. If you want to learn how to do something, find someone who is successfully doing it and learn from them.

Success Talk

Confident people say the words "I can" and "I will".  Their self talk is never doubting and negative, but rather instructional and motivational.

Look Successful

Act confident to feel confident, even if things aren't going your way. Confident people always stand up straight, walk with a bounce in their step, and keep a smile on their face. Acting confident helps you feel confident which makes you look confident. 

*Improve your self-confidence by identifying your abilities and positive attributes. Complete the Finding Your Self-Confidence worksheet.

Hear today’s lesson and laugh on The Bigg Success Show

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