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Are You Afraid of Success?

afraid We won’t name names. However, we’ve all seen it – usually with a celebrity – a person who is on the verge of bigg success, but then they go through a meltdown.

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We wonder what could have caused it. Usually, it’s a very individual thing but there are some common reasons:

#1 – Self-doubt
You’re not sure that you can handle bigg success. You worry about what you don’t know. You dwell on what you don’t have (a common worry is not having the right degree). You tell yourself all the reasons why you don’t deserve this level of success, even though you’re so close to it.

#2 – Fear of loss
If you become more successful than your friends, what will they think? Will they still be your friends? Will they be jealous of your success? You know the answer to these questions already. What kind of friend wouldn’t be thrilled with your bigg success?

#3 – Fear of embarrassment
This fear is a carry-over from childhood – that adolescent fear of standing out from the group. You’re afraid of what people will think if they see you fail. Which leads us to …

#4 – Fear of failure
You may think that it’s better to have never experienced bigg success, than to have it and then lose it. Somehow it’s better to never get there. But why do you assume it will be fleeting?

The net result is that we talk ourselves out of succeeding bigg. We accept that it’s better to be part of the crowd than to blaze our own trail. We feel more comfortable. It seems less risky. But we’re wrong!

How to conquer your fear of bigg success

#1 – Self-talk is so important.

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marylynnAs a first-time entrepreneur, fear has crept in on occasion. I’ve been lucky to have George around. He’s helped me understand that negative self-talk isn’t going to help you succeed. You have to turn it around.

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georgeEven as an experienced business owner, I still have to battle that little voice that impedes bigg success. You just have to constantly keep telling yourself why you will do it.

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Think of all the things you’ve done right to get this far. Remind yourself of the obstacles that you faced and how you overcame them. Focus on the things that have already gone your way.

#2 – You don’t have to get it perfect; you just have to keep going.
It certainly hasn’t been perfect up to this point, has it? So why would it have to be perfect from here on out? Enjoy the journey. Enjoy the growth you’re experiencing.

Every time we reach another plateau, we celebrate our victory. Then we look back and realize the victory had already occurred. We grew. We learned so much. That’s the real joy of bigg success!

#3 – Success comes one level at a time.
Sure you have to keep your eye on that ultimate goal. But you get there one step at a time. You only have to take the next step.

You’ve learned enough to know how to do that. Perhaps more importantly, you’ve already learned how to find out anything you don’t already know.

#4 – Surround yourself with people who have made it.
We can’t possibly over-emphasize this point. Develop a support network of mentors and coaches. People who were once where you are now, but are now where you want to be.

Don’t be afraid to take those little steps that lead to bigg success!

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Evidence shows that more and more of us are running two businesses simultaneously. Next time, we’ll get some tips from an expert who’s doing just that. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

 

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Moving Beyond Personal Productivity

personal A bigg salute to Stowe Boyd for his recent post called Overload, Shoverload. He argues that personal productivity isn’t important anymore. It’s the productivity of your network that matters.

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Listen to podcast this blog post! Click PLAY to hear George & Mary-Lynn on The BIGG Success Show Podcast.

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That made us think of Stephen Covey. As he says in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, we have to move from independence to interdependence in order to achieve maximum effectiveness.

In the higher order of things, personal productivity is important, but interpersonal productivity is most important.

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marylynn Producing The Bigg Success Show takes a lot of work. We have five deadlines every week. We’ve divided up our duties pretty evenly. But sometimes I get done and George is still working. Sure I could move on to something else I need to do. But in some cases, it’s better if I help him catch up.

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georgeWe’re programmed to think that it’s our individual effort that matters. However, in the end it’s the team that wins or loses – helping your team, by helping your team mate, helps you. Mary-Lynn helps me when I need it, so I help her when she needs it.

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Interdependence leads us to a new business venture

It’s the network, stupid! That’s the paradigm for the 21st century – for us as individuals and for businesses and other organizations. It’s the end result that matters so we must focus on being effective, not just efficient. Our network can produce results that we couldn’t produce on our own.

Recently, we had an idea for a business. We talked a friend whose business is in the market we were targeting. After our conversation, we had a different idea so we started working on it!

Interdependence got us a better idea!

Now, we could do this whole thing ourselves. However, we have another friend who has a business that dovetails nicely with our expertise. We believe that we can grow the business much faster by working with him.

We’re a couple of months away from launching this national business. So far, it’s taken us two meetings and three series of e-mails.

Interdependence got us further faster!

Perhaps even more importantly, we think we’ll make more money by letting him do what he does best and sticking to what we do best.

Interdependence will make us more productive!

Developing a business at that speed couldn’t have happened if the relationship didn’t exist already. Trust has been built up over time and it’s taken a lot of trust to get to the point we are, especially at the speed we’ve been traveling!

If you’re willing to be truly interdependent, you can enjoy the power of interpersonal productivity. That’s what it takes today to be a bigg success!

Next time, we talk with two experts in leadership about engaging your employees. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

 

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How to Get Noticed in Job Market 2.0

Today on The Bigg Success Show, we welcomed Phil Rosenberg. Phil is the founder of reCareered, a career coaching service that helps job searchers get past the biggest challenge in today’s competitive jobs market – to get noticed.

 

Phil, what does reCareered mean?

 

 

It means someone who is seeking a job change, or trying to revitalize their career, or someone who is between jobs and wants help with how the job markets have changed in the last eight years or so.

 

How has the job market changed?

 

 

Eight years ago, the majority of resumes were delivered on paper. Around 2000, it changed to where most resumes were delivered digitally.

 

And how does that change the resume itself?

 

 

It changes it completely. The paper-based resume had to be static. The only way to customize it was by a cover letter. A digital resume can be searched. It also increased the number of resumes that went into most companies, by as many as ten-fold.

 

We always hear about search engine optimization and how you want to rank at the tops of the pages for Google. But apparently you can do the same for your resume … it can be optimized?

 

You bet, and it’s especially critical in today’s world. Most major employers get thousands of resumes for each job, but they only staff to look at twenty to thirty. That’s two to three percent. So your goal, in submitting your resume today, is getting to the top two or three percent. Through resume search optimization, you can manage that process rather than have it be random. My strategy with my clients is to make a resume a single-use document – to have it infinitely customizable so that you’re gaming the search engine and forcing it higher up the search page.

 

How do we make a good impression right upfront?

 

 

There’s been research from the University of Toledo and Stanford University that states that interview decisions are made within the first two to thirty seconds. That blew me away. The rest of the interview is just somebody justifying their initial decision. So it’s a “gut feel” decision that may occur even before you shake hands. It’s all about preparation. Learn about your client – how they communicate (verbally and non-verbally), how they dress, how they look. If you want a job, go to a place that’s close to their office and sit there during lunch. Talk to people from that company who are getting lunch there. On a Friday night, go to Happy Hour at a bar close to their office and talk to people from that company. When you talk to them, watch their body movements. What’s the tone they use? What’s the speed they use to talk? You can also do that with their written communication – their web site, annual reports, press releases. The key to all this is communicating to your audience that it seems like you already work there.

 

It reminds me of the book, Guerilla Selling. It’s all about learning about your customer, in that case, but in the case the employer you’re going after – getting as much information as you can, wherever you can. It’s amazing how much information you can gather.

 

Sure. That’s also an effective way to use LinkedIn, Facebook or your own personal network. Chances are you have contacts within that company. A lot of people only use those contacts to see what jobs are available and to ask them to pass their resume along. They leave out some of the greatest uses of a network – talking to people within an organization to find out what an organization is like and what the communication style is like. Listening for how they’re answering questions rather than just what they’re saying.

 

This is fantastic advice because you do want to fit in. It’s all about mimicking. When you’re at an interview, should you sit up straight and lean forward or should you try to have your body language be similar to the body language of the interviewer? From what I’ve read, you should try to mimic that person.

 

That’s exactly what you’re doing – it’s called mirroring. You’re trying to show that you fit in. You speak the same language. You’re really trying to act like you already work at the company. It takes a ton of preparation. A lot of people aren’t willing to put that preparation in, but the people who do get a huge, almost an unfair, advantage.

Phil's links

You can get free daily job tips from Phil at his blog or visit his main site, reCareered, the place for resume search optimization and job search 2.0. 

 

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Does Barack Obama's Favorite Music Make Him More Interesting?

Rolling Stone interviewed Barack Obama recently. He revealed his iPod play list, which included songs by:

  • Earth, Wind & Fire
  • Elton John
  • The Rolling Stones
  • Sheryl Crow
  • Yo-Yo Ma
  • Jay-Z
  • Bob Dylan
  • Stevie Wonder

He said Stevie Wonder is his musical hero. We learn more about him because he shared his musical taste. He’s in touch with the classics and brilliant musicians. He shows his age, yet he’s still in touch with artists of today. 


Mary-Lynn says …
When I think of Bob Dylan, I think of music with a message … that sense of activism.
When I think of Yo-Yo Ma or Stevie Wonder, I think of great musicianship.

And I think of the song, I Wish. How when I was working in radio, I was always excited when that song was coming up. I’d crank it when it was on and do my own boogie!

George replies … 
When I think of Stevie Wonder, I think about the Saturday Night Live skit where he was playing tennis! He got hit by a lot of balls!

Seriously, I think of Ebony and Ivory. I’m a lyrics guy. I can picture the keyboard with its ebony and ivory keys. And Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder singing it. It’s powerful!

Sharing opens up the conversation
So you see what’s happening here. Barack Obama revealed things about himself. Now we’re revealing things about ourselves. When you share, you open up the conversation because the other person finds things to be interested in. So they find you more interesting and get to know you better. And you connect with them.

So let’s take a page from the politician’s playbook – they look for every single way they can to connect with people.

George’s example:
I’m a husband, a business owner, a professor, a blogger, a podcaster, an alum of the best university in the world … the University of Illinois. And the list goes on. Kind of like Sonny & Cher’s beat!

It’s how people can relate to you, by finding things in common with you.

The more you share, the more you connect

That’s why one of our friends says that you should fill out your profile completely on social networking sites, when you join an organization, and at every opportunity. Share as much about yourself and your interests as you feel comfortable sharing.

We can learn a lesson from politicians on this – the more you share, the more you connect!

Mary-Lynn says …
As we prepared for this show, one of the things we talked about is how neither one of us has been listening to much music lately. This really surprises me about myself because I was a musician and a music disc jockey for many years. So music has been an integral part of my life.

George replied …
That begs the question, Mary-Lynn. Why aren’t you listening to more music now?

And I think I know the answer – you get to hear me sing in the shower! What more could you possibly need?

Mary-Lynn’s retort …
That’s not music to my ears, George!

I work at my computer a lot and whenever I am in the car they’re always playing the same songs on the radio. So I just flip to talk. 

Connect with yourself

Music is an opportunity to connect with others, but more importantly, it lets you connect with yourself. So make time for things that touch you deeply – in your mind, your heart, and your soul.
Whether that be music or something else.

What do you do to connect to others and yourself? Is there something you used to do that you need to reconnect with?

 



Related posts

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(Image by rollingstone.com)

BIGG Success Logo boxed

Does Barack Obama’s Favorite Music Make Him More Interesting?

Rolling Stone interviewed Barack Obama recently. He revealed his iPod play list, which included songs by:

  • Earth, Wind & Fire
  • Elton John
  • The Rolling Stones
  • Sheryl Crow
  • Yo-Yo Ma
  • Jay-Z
  • Bob Dylan
  • Stevie Wonder

He said Stevie Wonder is his musical hero. We learn more about him because he shared his musical taste. He’s in touch with the classics and brilliant musicians. He shows his age, yet he’s still in touch with artists of today. 


Mary-Lynn says …
When I think of Bob Dylan, I think of music with a message … that sense of activism.
When I think of Yo-Yo Ma or Stevie Wonder, I think of great musicianship.

And I think of the song, I Wish. How when I was working in radio, I was always excited when that song was coming up. I’d crank it when it was on and do my own boogie!

George replies … 
When I think of Stevie Wonder, I think about the Saturday Night Live skit where he was playing tennis! He got hit by a lot of balls!

Seriously, I think of Ebony and Ivory. I’m a lyrics guy. I can picture the keyboard with its ebony and ivory keys. And Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder singing it. It’s powerful!

Sharing opens up the conversation
So you see what’s happening here. Barack Obama revealed things about himself. Now we’re revealing things about ourselves. When you share, you open up the conversation because the other person finds things to be interested in. So they find you more interesting and get to know you better. And you connect with them.

So let’s take a page from the politician’s playbook – they look for every single way they can to connect with people.

George’s example:
I’m a husband, a business owner, a professor, a blogger, a podcaster, an alum of the best university in the world … the University of Illinois. And the list goes on. Kind of like Sonny & Cher’s beat!

It’s how people can relate to you, by finding things in common with you.

The more you share, the more you connect

That’s why one of our friends says that you should fill out your profile completely on social networking sites, when you join an organization, and at every opportunity. Share as much about yourself and your interests as you feel comfortable sharing.

We can learn a lesson from politicians on this – the more you share, the more you connect!

Mary-Lynn says …
As we prepared for this show, one of the things we talked about is how neither one of us has been listening to much music lately. This really surprises me about myself because I was a musician and a music disc jockey for many years. So music has been an integral part of my life.

George replied …
That begs the question, Mary-Lynn. Why aren’t you listening to more music now?

And I think I know the answer – you get to hear me sing in the shower! What more could you possibly need?

Mary-Lynn’s retort …
That’s not music to my ears, George!

I work at my computer a lot and whenever I am in the car they’re always playing the same songs on the radio. So I just flip to talk. 

Connect with yourself

Music is an opportunity to connect with others, but more importantly, it lets you connect with yourself. So make time for things that touch you deeply – in your mind, your heart, and your soul.
Whether that be music or something else.

What do you do to connect to others and yourself? Is there something you used to do that you need to reconnect with?

 



Related posts

462]

98]

34]

32]

260]

(Image by rollingstone.com)