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Regrets…Had A Few?

Last time, we talked about starting over to turn misfortune into fortune. Today, we want to discuss a study about regrets. The study was done by Dr. Neal Roese, professor of psychology, and Amy Summerville, graduate student researcher, at the University of Illinois.

In What We Regret … and Why, they assert that the biggest regrets that people have revolve around their education (cited by 32 percent of participants) and their career (selected by 22 percent of participants).

What about you? If you could do it again, would you get a different degree? Choose a different career? Study harder?

The good news is we have more choices today than ever before. The bad news is more choices mean more things to bemoan. The authors discuss two types of regret:

    • Action regrets.

These are regrets from things we did. If we lament something that’s relatively insignificant, we’re usually able to get past it with relative ease. If something was done that goes against our character, it’s tougher to get over it.

It’s not productive to beat yourself up. Apologize if need be. Learn from your mistakes. Resolve to do better next time. Then move on.

    • Inaction regrets.

According to the authors, these regrets are harder to overcome. They involve our imagination. We keep thinking about what might have been if only …

But that’s also a waste of our energy. Don’t think about what might have been. Focus on what might be. You can always make a U-turn on the Bigg Success Highway! Take action! Do something about it!

Mission accomplished! The longest college career in history ends happily.
Nola Ochs started college in 1930, but she didn’t finish. Life got in the way. She always wished she had been able to complete college.

Last May, she graduated from Fort Hays State University at the ripe young age of 95. According to The Guinness Book of World Records, Nola is the oldest person to complete their college degree.

She’s a living testament that you’re never too old to achieve your dreams.

Regrets … we’ve all had a few. But the best way to get over them is to take action! That gets you focused on how to achieve, rather than thinking how you failed.

Our quote today was made by Alexander Graham Bell.

“When one door closes, another opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”

Walk through your open doors and you may just find … room for improvement. Nola Ochs did it … so can you!

Tomorrow, we’ll look at why twenty somethings are getting a bad rap. Do they deserve it? Or is it just a generation gap? Until then, here’s to your big success!

The Confidence Game

If you have owned your own business, you have probably struggled with self-confidence from time to time. You may even relate to and have suggestions for one of our listeners.

We received an e-mail from Beth, who is in the process of starting her own consulting company. She says her problem is that there’s a little voice in her head that keeps pointing out what she doesn’t know. It’s paralyzing her progress, and she would like some advice on how to get past this.

Don’t feel alone, this is a common problem. We congratulate Beth for having the courage to make this move. George has a theory that, as an entrepreneur, the highs are higher and the lows are lower when own your own business. So welcome to the roller coaster!

Here are some tips on how to get past the lows by giving yourself a boost in confidence:

Don’t expect perfection
Allow yourself to be human, by setting achievable goals. For instance, many people feel they don’t know the financial side of business. Read books, take a class, or find someone you can team up with. Do what you do well and let others help you so that you can get started and tackle your challenges.

Rebut the cruel inner critic
Counter your negatives with positives. For example, when that little tells you what you don’t know, tell it what you do know. When it tells you why you shouldn’t take a risk, tell it why you should. Focus on what you can do and what you know you will do.

Be Your Best Friend
Friends tell you what you need to hear, but when they do, it’s in a caring way. We help our friends get through tough situations in encouraging ways. So why not offer yourself suggestions in the same manner? Don’t get down on yourself and be critical just because you didn’t do something right or because you don’t know something.

Meditate
It’s important to practice thinking positive. Take a break, think about a task you completed that made you feel confident, and remember how good it felt. When you go to bed, focus on three good things that you did well that day. It’s a great way to end the day, by focusing on what you have accomplished.

Our quote today is by Stan Smith.

“Experience tells you what to do; confidence allows you to do it.”

Get out of your own way…you’ve got places to go! Tomorrow we’ll discuss getting the money off your back. We’ll share some recent research on monkeys that you’ll find interesting.

Stretch Yourself Anew

Yesterday, we discussed how to live without being perfect. We told you to practice the
“75% solution” so you have more time to enjoy life. Today we’ll discuss how to stretch yourself anew.

Let’s face it – we’re all busy. As we age, our careers get more demanding. We have more family responsibilities. Real life gets in the way of stretching ourselves in new ways. We want to give you four questions to ask yourself to rediscover joy in your life.

Question 1: What’s something you used to love to do?
There are things you used to do that got pushed aside – not intentionally, but accidentally. Something had to give. We have a friend who loved music when he was younger. Recently, he bought a guitar and started playing again. He loved it! Now he’s in a band and has an amazing collection of valuable guitars!

Question 2: What class, outside your major, did you really enjoy?
Or another way to think about it – was there a class you always wanted to take? Another friend’s job involves a lot of analysis. In college, he took a creative writing class as an elective. Now he’s taking another writing class at his local community college. He loves it! He says it’s a complete escape.

Question 3: What do you have sitting around the house?
You may have to dig deep, but there are probably remnants of old hobbies somewhere in your house. Why not break out the tools of your craft? Mary-Lynn says she has rediscovered paint-by-number. She’s learned to keep her brushes clean and in plain sight. That’s her reminder to enjoy this favorite activity from the past.

Question 4: What did you used to read?
Take a trip to your local library or bookstore. Browse the magazine section. What strikes you? George used to subscribe to a couple of fishing magazines. Now, he’s rediscovered fishing with a new twist – it’s a great time to relax and reflect, even if he doesn’t catch anything!

Stretching yourself by recalling those things that used to bring you joy rounds you out. You’ll find it helps your career and your family life. You’re more interesting. You’ll have new energy. You may even find a clue that will take your career and your life in an exciting new direction.

Our quote today is by the great writer and poet, Oliver Wendell Holmes.

“Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea,
never regains its original dimensions.”

Take an old idea and make it new again. Stretch yourself and expand your mind. Tomorrow, we’ll discuss building self-confidence. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

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