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It's Your Choice

thanksgiving

Today we want to discuss preferences – making the right choices for ourselves – and how our preferences affect our relationship with others and with ourselves.

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marylynnI was talking with my dad the other day. He’s really looking forward to Thanksgiving Day because he is going to cook all day. My dad is the make-everything-from-scratch kind of guy. He just can’t wait. For him, it’s going to be super-relaxing and he’s excited about it. I, on the other hand, would hate that. I can’t see how cooking and doing dishes all day is fun and relaxing.

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georgeAs we were talking about this, we realized that we assess other people, and what they’re doing, based on our own preferences.

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marylynnObviously, I don’t think what my dad’s doing is wrong. I’m happy for him that he’s excited. It’s just that it’s not what I would want to do.

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georgeI’m closer to your league, Mary-Lynn. If we were doing this whole thing ourselves, there would be a lot of semi-homemade cooking – out of the box with modifications stuff.

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marylynnI’m all about the Stove Top stuffing and getting a turkey breast instead of a whole turkey, so you don’t have to carve it. I guess what I’m saying here is that my choice is to be lazy!

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georgeWhich works fine on Thanksgiving Day for you. But I think sometimes we look at other people and wonder why in the world they’re doing what they’re doing. Like with what your dad’s doing – it works for him and brings him joy.

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The perfect meal

Then sometimes we make choices for ourselves based on what we think other people expect from us. We put pressure on ourselves to be perfect. Let’s keep the Thanksgiving theme going. We think we have to have the perfect meal – we have to serve the dinner on the china, the stuffing has to be homemade, we have to make the pies from scratch.

It’s what we’ve always done

We put all these pressures on ourselves because we think that’s what our guests expect. Those expectations may be based on tradition – this is what we’ve always done. Just because we’ve “always done” something doesn’t mean we should necessarily feel pressure to keep doing it every single time, or any time for that matter! There should be a good reason for it. 

Guilt

If you are strapped for time, if you are tuckered out, why put yourself through all of this extra work? You could just get a store-bought pie or call someone and ask them to make one or pick one up.

But if we do that, we feel guilty. Because we’re not doing what’s always been done, because our family’s going to expect that everything is going to be perfect – we’re going to have the homemade pie, the stuffing is going to be made from scratch, the turkey will be nice and golden, fresh out of the oven, ready to carve.

Who really expects it?

We do all of these things because we feel these expectations even though the people around us may not. We place all of this pressure on ourselves!

We may do this because we want everything to be perfect. That’s fine as long as it’s really your choice and you’re not doing it because you feel guilty if you don’t do it.

Conscious choices

Maybe if you really thought about it, and you talked with your loved ones, you might decide that the best solution is to go out for Thanksgiving dinner. Or have spaghetti with turkey meatballs!

That’s the point – it doesn’t matter what you do if you consciously make the choice. If it works for you and the people you care about, then it works! And this doesn’t just apply to Thanksgiving dinner!

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Today we give thanks to you for joining us here. Next time, we’ll look at close encounters of the rude kind. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

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Little Adults, Bigg Kids: What We’re All Missing Out On

playground We recently read a great post by Dr. Robyn Silvermen about treating kids like little adults. She offers a lot of great links to research and other articles about this increasing trend.

 

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The calendars of kids today are as busy as ours. Between school and all their extracurricular activities, they’re too busy to really play.

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georgeI saw an interview with a little girl awhile back. She was brilliant, doing well in school and excelling at everything she did. Her one wish was that she could just have some time to play.

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Isn’t that sad?

Play pays

Don’t get us wrong – extracurricular activities are great, but it’s good to also have time to engage in activities that don’t have a goal with performance stress attached.

It’s good for kids to just play. It’s good for them physically, socially, and mentally. Play helps them develop their imagination and creativity as well as socially – all important skills in the years ahead.

Turning back the clock

Dr. Robyn cites a growing trend of kids having fitness club memberships. How many of us just love going to the gym? Do you remember playing … just good old fashioned play?  It was fun. Something you couldn’t wait to do. You got some great exercise, but you didn’t watch the clock like you do when you’re working out at the club. 

Speaking of clocks, the sad part is that we seem to be turning back the clock. Dr. Robyn’s article includes a quote that says kids are about two years behind in their development compared to sixty years ago. It seems we’re not evolving; we’re going backwards.

We need to do a 180

So let’s let the kids be kids. In fact, let’s take it a step further. Let’s do a 180 degree turn – instead of trying to turn kids into little adults, let’s become bigg kids.

Not in an immature way … just for fun and all the benefits that come with it.

We need to be more child-like. Do you remember being fascinated by bugs? Of course, we’re not talking about bugs inside the house. But isn’t it fascinating to just watch a praying mantis? How relaxing is it to see butterflies fluttering around?

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marylynnThat’s one of the reasons I love going for walks. I just love seeing all the cool plants. There’s a lake close to our house so I can watch the fish. It sure beats going to the fitness center and watching TV!

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We get so busy working that we don’t have a second to spare. Sometimes we even block people out so we can get all of our work done. That’s when play time is especially important. Play time is social time. You can relax and talk with people.

And you learn … things that you might not learn any other way. Because other people have different interests. By playing – socializing – you expand our interests. That helps you look at old problems in new ways. You find solutions that you may not find if you don’t get out of your routine.

Play expands our imaginations. Our imagination leads us to be more creative, more innovative. Which is how we find those bigg ideas that lead to bigg success!

___

Get the tips and tools you need to be a BIGG success!
Subscribe to the Bigg Success Weekly – it’s FREE!

___

Next time, we’ll take on Washington and Wall Street. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

Subscribe to the Bigg Success feed.

Related posts

A Wii Bit of Fun

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(Image by mommyof9)

Little Adults, Bigg Kids: What We're All Missing Out On

playground We recently read a great post by Dr. Robyn Silvermen about treating kids like little adults. She offers a lot of great links to research and other articles about this increasing trend.

 

___

The calendars of kids today are as busy as ours. Between school and all their extracurricular activities, they’re too busy to really play.

___

georgeI saw an interview with a little girl awhile back. She was brilliant, doing well in school and excelling at everything she did. Her one wish was that she could just have some time to play.

___

Isn’t that sad?

Play pays

Don’t get us wrong – extracurricular activities are great, but it’s good to also have time to engage in activities that don’t have a goal with performance stress attached.

It’s good for kids to just play. It’s good for them physically, socially, and mentally. Play helps them develop their imagination and creativity as well as socially – all important skills in the years ahead.

Turning back the clock

Dr. Robyn cites a growing trend of kids having fitness club memberships. How many of us just love going to the gym? Do you remember playing … just good old fashioned play?  It was fun. Something you couldn’t wait to do. You got some great exercise, but you didn’t watch the clock like you do when you’re working out at the club. 

Speaking of clocks, the sad part is that we seem to be turning back the clock. Dr. Robyn’s article includes a quote that says kids are about two years behind in their development compared to sixty years ago. It seems we’re not evolving; we’re going backwards.

We need to do a 180

So let’s let the kids be kids. In fact, let’s take it a step further. Let’s do a 180 degree turn – instead of trying to turn kids into little adults, let’s become bigg kids.

Not in an immature way … just for fun and all the benefits that come with it.

We need to be more child-like. Do you remember being fascinated by bugs? Of course, we’re not talking about bugs inside the house. But isn’t it fascinating to just watch a praying mantis? How relaxing is it to see butterflies fluttering around?

___

marylynnThat’s one of the reasons I love going for walks. I just love seeing all the cool plants. There’s a lake close to our house so I can watch the fish. It sure beats going to the fitness center and watching TV!

___

We get so busy working that we don’t have a second to spare. Sometimes we even block people out so we can get all of our work done. That’s when play time is especially important. Play time is social time. You can relax and talk with people.

And you learn … things that you might not learn any other way. Because other people have different interests. By playing – socializing – you expand our interests. That helps you look at old problems in new ways. You find solutions that you may not find if you don’t get out of your routine.

Play expands our imaginations. Our imagination leads us to be more creative, more innovative. Which is how we find those bigg ideas that lead to bigg success!

___

Get the tips and tools you need to be a BIGG success!
Subscribe to the Bigg Success Weekly – it’s FREE!

___

Next time, we’ll take on Washington and Wall Street. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

Subscribe to the Bigg Success feed.

Related posts

A Wii Bit of Fun

Backyard Bliss

(Image by mommyof9)

Backyard Bliss

at_the_topWe both enjoy our work so we tend to work a lot. We feel fortunate that we get to work side-by-side. However, just because we’re physically near someone, it doesn’t mean you’re really “together.” So this past weekend, we took our own advice and had some bigg down time.

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marylynn I love garage sales because there are so many great bargains! So George drove, and I dragged him all over hitting garage sales.

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georgeAnd thanks to Mary-Lynn, we followed that up with … yet more shopping.

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We have these gorgeous, bigg, old trees on our lot, but that means there are a lot of limbs down after every storm. We had a fellow who mowed our yard and hauled the limbs away. But he had knee surgery this spring, and the gentleman who mows it now doesn’t do that.

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marylynn That’s right. But here’s the thing … I have a love for fire! So I thought … why not burn these limbs? So we bought a fire pit! But there was something about the fire pit we bought that George really liked.

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georgeYeah, I thought it was cool because it’s also a grill. Since I’m a purist, I like to cook with charcoal rather than gas. This way, we can cook on wood, which we get for free, and not spend money on charcoal!

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Even hassles don’t create angst

We also bought a chain saw. Now, don’t be alarmed … this chain saw is about the size of a blow dryer! But when we opened the box, there were pieces missing. So back to the store we went. Then we realized it didn’t come with the oil we needed. Back to the store again.

It proved the theory a friend of ours has – no home improvement project is complete until you’ve made at least three trips to the store!

But it was our day off! We weren’t in a rush so we enjoyed the time together in spite of it all.

Backyard bliss

So last Saturday night, we sat around our fire as we listened to music and grilled some hot dogs … and okay, a few marshmallows! It was so relaxing … all on our own back patio.

We had backyard bliss. (Don’t confuse it with the song “Ballroom Blitz”!)

So we caught up by slowing down!

Even if you work with your spouse or significant other – and maybe we should say, especially if you work together – it’s important to have “together time” that’s not associated with work.

We wish we could say that we planned to do this, but we would be lying. We’re good at planning our business and work activities, but sometimes we struggle with planning personal things.

But now that we have our fire pit, it will be easy to walk out the door and relax! Not long ago, we talked about why it’s good to spend time in nature. For many of us, nature is in our own backyard!

So you don’t have to do a lot of planning. You don’t have to spend a lot of money. You don’t even have to go anywhere. Stay at home and have some fun!

marylynn Don't forget the bug spray…that was our 4th trip to the store!

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You Will Enjoy Your Vacation if You Know This

Are you a morning person or a night owl?

You probably have a good grasp of your daily pattern. The bigger challenge is understanding your patterns for refreshing yourself, for getting away and recharging.

With vacation season upon us, we thought it would talk about these patterns. Obviously, your ability to fully control how you take time off depends upon your flexibility at work. 


George said that his dad was always looking for a job with two paid vacations a year … six months each!

3 questions to make time off more rewarding

#1 – Do you need a long break or a series of shorter ones?
Some people are so stressed by the time they take a break that a short one just won’t do. They never get past the stress so they can relax and enjoy their time off. If that describes you, then take a long vacation!

Others get more stressed if they’re away from their normal routine too long. They start worrying about getting further and further behind so they don’t relax. If you’re one of these people, take a series of long weekends.

#2 – Do you need a day or two to get back in the swing of things after a break?
Do you need a vacation to recover from your vacation? If so, plan your vacation so you get an extra day or two to “unwind from unwinding”. If that’s not possible, try to schedule your daily routine a little lighter for your first day or two back in “the real world”.

Others get back from vacation, whether long or short, and are immediately ready to jump into daily life again. If that describes you, you can max out your days at your destination.

#3 – Are there certain times of the year when you really need some time off?
Some of us have extremely busy seasons. A break immediately after the season is often the best medicine! You’ll be able to keep pushing, knowing that some needed time off is on the horizon.

Another example is people who live in areas where the winter months are cold, long and dreary. Time away in the sun is just the prescription to cure their winter blues.

“Vacation is what you take when you can’t
take what you’ve been taking any longer”
Author unknown

Our top 5 signs that you need to take a vacation

#5 – The last time your phone rang at your desk, you picked up your stapler and started talking.

#4 – You’re secretly hoping to get sick so you can take a day off.

#3 – You’ve been at the airport so much, security is greeting you by your first name.

#2 – You had to call your spouse and ask for directions home.

#1 – When you look in the mirror, you realize that you actually look like your passport photo.

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

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