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We Need It But Not Too Much of It

number1 There’s this one thing that we have to have in order to succeed bigg.

If we don’t have enough of it, we’ll fail.

If we have too much of it, we’ll fail.

And with this one thing, the line between success and failure is very thin.

What is that one thing?

Ego.

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Enough of it so we don’t listen

Yes, we often think of ego as a bad thing but it takes a certain amount of ego to succeed bigg. Without some level of self-confidence, we will never start down the path to our bigg success because our fear of failure paralyzes us.

We have to believe, truly believe, we can do it or we won’t. It’s just that simple. With self-confidence, we are willing to go against the grain. To stick to our guns when people, even those people closest to us, are telling us we shouldn’t do it.

Their intentions are good, but they wouldn’t do it. The things we need to do to pursue our bigg dream takes most people out of their comfort zone. So they never start. But just because they wouldn’t do it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it.

Enough of it so we persevere

Self-confidence also helps us stick with it in spite of the obstacles. We will face hurdles on our path to bigg success. The difference between success and failure is often a fine line. And we step over that line with perseverance.

But if we lack the confidence in ourselves and our plan, we won’t persevere. We won’t keep on keeping on. We will stop each and every time we face adversity. We have to believe in ourselves and what we can do if we are to succeed bigg.

Not so much of it that we stop listening

If we don’t have enough ego, we will fail. But if we have too much, we will fail too.

We’ve probably all heard that “Pride goes before a fall.” This is the reason why ego often carries with it a bad name and it’s a good reason.

We may have reached some level of success. It goes to our heads. Our egos get too large and we may start to feel invincible. That the rules, the natural laws, don’t apply to us anymore. We have a gift. We have the Midas touch. We were born to succeed. It’s our destiny.

That over-confidence leads to our fall, our failure. We don’t take advice from the people around us. We think we know more than they do.

The fine line

Isn’t it interesting that listening to people when we’re not confident enough often leads to failure but not listening to people when we’re too confident also often leads to failure?

It emphasizes what a fine line there is in finding the right level of confidence. We want a certain amount of confidence, but we don’t want to get cocky. We need to approach that line – between confidence and cockiness – but not cross it.

Confidence with humility … that leads to bigg success!

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Thank you for reading our post today. Join us next time when discuss three questions that lead to thrilling your customers. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

 

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
http://media.libsyn.com/media/biggsuccess/00353-031809.mp3

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Finding Your Self-Confidence Worksheet

By Bigg Success Staff
09-11-08

Life Skills

worksheet 

Improve your self-confidence by identifying your abilities and positive attributes. Complete the following statements to highlight your unique talents.

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What do I do well?

What do I do even better?

What can I do now that I couldn’t do last year?

What have I already accomplished?

What is my greatest professional strength?

What is my greatest individual strength?

Of what am I most proud?

How can I help my colleagues?

How can I help my family and friends?

How can I help my community?

I have the power to

I am not afraid to

I have decided to

I need strength to

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Hear today's lesson and laugh on The Bigg Success Show. 

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Strategies for Becoming More Confident

By Bigg Success Staff
09-11-08

Life Skills

rise_to_the_top 

The difference between those who are successful and those who succeed bigg is confidence. Elite athletes and those who are peak performers in their career have high self-confidence.

Here are some of the techniques they use to be at the top of their game:

Practice Consistently

The only way to be ready to "step up" is to put in the work. When the game is on the line, the Yankees are always happy to see Derek Jeter at the plate. When the pressure is on, Derek shines. Experience, along with countless hours of practice, allows us to master our craft and perform confidently.

Disregard Doubt

If we focus on what we can do, rather than what we cannot do, we can overcome self-doubt. Where is the benefit of worrying about the unknown? Winners push down feelings of doubt, by focusing what they know they can do to finish the task at hand.

Try Harder

If we label a defeat as a "failure", we are telling ourselves we lack ability and count ourselves out. Confident people never admit to defeat or feel defeated. They just try harder to achieve their goal next time. They look for ways to improve their effort through preparation, concentration, skill execution, or other factors.

Play to Win

When we play not to lose, our focus is negative and reactive. When we play to win, we aren't afraid to take chances and take control.

Manage Emotions

When we face adversity without confidence, we tend to get angry, upset, depressed, or pessimistic. When things don't go our way and we are confident, we don't get emotional, we don't give up, and we find a way to overcome the situation.

Success Breeds Confidence

Bring more success your way, by recalling your past successes. Remember your accomplishments and that feeling of success. Remind yourself that you can do it!

Find Success

Confident people recognize their accomplishments on a consistent basis. They set small achievable goals along with bigg ones. They structure success into their daily lives by setting and accomplishing meaningful, attainable goals.

Success Networks

Confident people reach out for help to get to where they want to be. If you want to learn how to do something, find someone who is successfully doing it and learn from them.

Success Talk

Confident people say the words "I can" and "I will".  Their self talk is never doubting and negative, but rather instructional and motivational.

Look Successful

Act confident to feel confident, even if things aren't going your way. Confident people always stand up straight, walk with a bounce in their step, and keep a smile on their face. Acting confident helps you feel confident which makes you look confident. 

*Improve your self-confidence by identifying your abilities and positive attributes. Complete the Finding Your Self-Confidence worksheet.

Hear today’s lesson and laugh on The Bigg Success Show

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The Most Important Person to Love

loveDo you remember the old song, If Loving You is Wrong, I Don’t Want to be Right? We have our own version here at Bigg Success. It goes like this, If loving ME is wrong, I don’t want to be right.”

We’re talking about this today because we often treat other people better than we treat ourselves. For example, we would never say to someone else, “You suck.” Do we say some version of that to ourselves?

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marylynn This is a great topic for me, because I can be very self-critical. I would never say to my best friend, or a colleague, or even George (I’m saying that with a smile in my voice), some of the things I say to myself.

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For whatever reason, we think it’s okay to speak to ourselves differently than we would someone else. We don’t filter it at all. We don’t think about presentation. It’s so incredibly important – especially when we’re talking to ourselves.

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marylynn I think it has to do with our expectations. For some reason, I’ll expect myself to be absolutely perfect on absolutely everything. I’m setting myself up for failure.

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georgeWe’re not promoting a religion or trying to convert you to anything. However, as we prepared for this show, I remembered a verse from the Bible. Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” We often focus so much on “love your neighbor” that we forget about “as yourself.” Inherent in this quote is this – if you don’t love yourself, you can’t love your neighbor.

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Yet somehow we think we can. Somehow we think we don’t have to care about ourselves, but we can care about others. We don’t have to give to ourselves, but we do give to others. That leads to a feeling of emptiness.

It may be our human nature – we do care about other people. We do reach out to others. Often we put ourselves second, but we should put ourselves EQUAL to our neighbor.

It’s important to give to others. We get a lot of fulfillment out of serving others. But we also need to give to ourselves, to serve ourselves. Otherwise, our well runs dry.

Hey, another song comes to mind – Love, Love Me Do!

4 ways to show the love to yourself   


#1 – Cut yourself some slack!

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georgeWe’re human – we shouldn’t expect ourselves to be super-human. I always think I can get more done than is humanly possible. I come by it honestly … my dad was the same way! I think I can take one more phone call and still make that next appointment on time. Then I get upset with myself when I can’t do it. I’m still learning to live on human time.

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#2 – Edit that self-talk

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marylynn I have learned to constantly monitor my self-talk. It’s easy to be negative but what good does that do? How does that help you achieve your goal? How does that help you make any changes?

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This is a bigg one. When you’re getting ready to tell yourself something, think about it. If it’s negative, stop dead in your tracks. You have to do it, because if you don’t, you’ll get discouraged. It’s a habit you have to break. Look for a good, positive solution instead.

#3 – Pamper yourself

We pamper other people. We celebrate other people’s victories. We congratulate them when they do something well. We wish them happy birthday.

Celebrate your birthday. It’s baloney to say you don’t celebrate them any more. You should. It’s your birthday, for crying out loud! Pamper yourself, too. Treat yourself just like you would your best friend.

#4 – Get in touch with yourself

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marylynn It’s a simple thing I do every day. I go for a walk. It serves two purposes for me – I get some exercise and I get outside of myself. I enjoy watching the squirrels play in the tree and the fishies in the lake near our home. It’s a good to get away and it’s good for me. It makes me feel good. Do those little things every day that make you feel good, that get you in touch with yourself and what you love.

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georgeMary-Lynn’s comment made me think of another song title … When I think about ME, I touch myself!

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How do you show yourself the love? Share with us by leaving a comment.

 

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The Goal-Setters Dilemma

By Bigg Success Staff
07-16-08

Life Skills

goldiliocks

Setting goals can be tricky. Like Goldilocks looking for the right bowl of porridge or the perfect bed, you want to create goals that are neither too high nor too low … you want goals that are just right.

Too high

When you reach a goal, you build self-confidence. If you rarely obtain your goals, you don’t feel that sense of accomplishment. Soon, you’ll get discouraged. For many, that means not setting goals at all.

Too low

When it’s too easy to reach a goal, there’s no excitement in it. Successful people often say the journey is more thrilling than the actual accomplishment. If your goals don’t require you to stretch, you quickly get bored with them.

Just right

You want goals that are achievable, yet challenging – goals that require realistic personal growth, given your time frame and resources. So here’s a tip for each side of the goal-setters dilemma …

  • If you tend to set goals that are too high …
    Set a goal just like you’ve always done it. Now, cut it in half … or double the time you assume it will take to reach it! You get to pick!

    See how it goes. If it’s too easy to accomplish, don’t cut it so much next time (or don’t extend the time as far). If it’s still too hard, cut it even more next time. Eventually, you’ll learn to set goals that are achievable.

  • If you tend to set goals that are too low …
    Once again, set goals just like you have in the past. Now, increase it by ten percent … or make the date for achieving it ten percent earlier. It’s your choice!

    Then review when you reach your goal or the date passes. Did it still seem too easy? If so, adjust the goal or the time frame even more next time. If it’s too hard now, don’t increase it so much next time. You’ll find the right process for you through experimentation.

1100 Hear today’s lesson and laugh on The Bigg Success Show. ]



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