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How Too Much Communication Killed a Relationship

Communication that hurts relationships | BIGG SuccessHe had always been proud to call her his bride. But now things were different. She was different.

He knew it hadn’t happened overnight. But it seemed like it did. He began to notice it with little things.

He would ask a question. She wouldn’t respond.

He cracked a joke. She didn’t laugh.

They would go out for dinner. He talked about his day. She seemed bored.

He asked her about her day. She didn’t have much to say.

Her mind always seemed to be somewhere else. And then he started to understand the source of the problem.

She had begun seeking solace from another. An outsider had intruded into their relationship.

This outsider was a force to be reckoned with. It was evident in the changes he could see in her.

They had always said that nothing could ever come between them. Now this one was.

It all seemed so innocent…at first. She had introduced him to this outsider. He was glad that she had this source of support. He could see how happy she was playing with this one.

But now she was smitten. Almost all of her attention was reserved for this “thing”. He couldn’t think of “it” as human but she sure did.

“How much time does she need to spend communicating with it?” he wondered. “Why is she so fascinated?”

This thing was ever present. Every day. In the evening. Even on the weekends. She always had time for it.

“Maybe I’m the third party,” he thought, feeling sorry for himself. No, he was just coming to terms with reality.

She made him feel less important than that thing she had fallen in love with. He felt alone.

At times, he was angry. On other occasions, he felt hurt, dejected, rejected.

But little did he know, it was about to get worse for him. One night, he had to work late.

He got home, stopped and looked at the mail, and then wandered over to the refrigerator. She had told him she would have a plate for him to heat up.

He opened the door and looked in. No plate.

He looked around. Maybe plans had changed. Had she left a note.

No note anywhere. No nothing.

He walked toward their bedroom. He didn’t know that his world was about to fall apart.

As he gazed through the open door, she was asleep in bed. But she wasn’t alone.

She was snuggled up with the thing – her smartphone!

Do you sleep with your smartphone?

(Inspired by Sleeping With Your Smartphone by Leslie Perlow)

Image in this post from stock.xchng

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Living in the Moment With an Angry Bird

couple at a cafe | BIGG SuccessThey sat at a table together, outside the coffee shop. She sat with her back to the window. He sat in the seat next to her, on one side of the table.

She loved this place, right in the center of the city. A circle led cars around a large monument to heroes of the past.

So many people. So much activity. She couldn’t take it all in. But she sure was going to try.

He surfed the internet. She sipped her coffee and looked around, waiting for a moment to talk to him.

The sun was setting. The sky was a beautiful combination of colors that no artist could ever quite capture.

He texted a friend. She took in the view, hoping to never forget it.

She noticed a horse-drawn carriage stop in front of the monument. A young man jumped out, turned to the carriage, and extended his hand to the young lady still on board. They walked hand in hand up the steps to the monument.

“Ah, young love,” she thought.

They stopped right in front of the monument. The young man stepped behind the young woman. He turned her around, her back now to the monument.

He dropped to one knee and pulled a small box out of his pocket. A huge smile formed on the young lady’s face. He stood up and they embraced excitedly.

They walked, arm in arm, toward the couple sitting at the table.

She smiled as they passed, thinking back to the days when her husband was more attentive.

He never looked up. He was too busy playing a game.

An angry bird flew right over his head. It was being chased by a cat which was being chased by a dog.

She saw them coming. She leaned forward in her chair, coffee cup in hand.

He was too involved in the game to see anything coming.

The cat ran under the table, exiting under his chair. The dog followed right behind. In full stride, the dog hit one of the legs of the table.

Coffee spilled all over her husband. He dropped his phone and jumped up. It looked like he had wet himself.

He went to clean himself up. She took a sip of coffee and went back to living in the moment.

 Image in this post from jwarletta

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Real Men Don’t Try for Work Life Balance

work-life conflict | BIGG SuccessA new study on the work-life conflict
by the Families and Work Institute shows that 60% of men are feeling extreme stress from trying to balance their personal and professional lives.

In fact, more men now experience work-life conflict than women!

Isn’t that a startling revelation?

The blurry worry

They’re feeling what we call “the blurry worry.” Our roles and our worlds have both been blurred.

In ancient times, men hunted while women gathered. In more modern times, men provided; women cared.

Now, both sexes do all of the above. The roles have been blurred.

And our personal and professional worlds are blurry as well. Technology is making us accessible at all times to everyone on either side of our lives.

Real men

So what is a man to do?

BIGG success is life on your own terms. Real men today want BIGG success throughout their life – in their careers and as a breadwinner, husband, father, son, friend, etc.

But they are increasingly frustrated because society crams an old paradigm down their throats: work-life balance.

So real men view their life as a system. Sure, the system has its components, but they are all part of one life.

Real men don’t buy in to work-life balance. It doesn’t work in an age of dual income couples, raising kids while caring for parents, increasing demands at work and home, and technology that puts us in touch 24/7.

Instead, they seek life sync. Sync means harmony, “a pleasing combination of elements in a whole” according to The Free Dictionary. Real men create life sync through discovery, design, and development.

  • Discovery

    Discovery starts with you. It begins internally before reaching out to other people. What do you want your life to look like? What’s your vision? What’s most important to you?

    Once you determine what you want, it’s time for conversations. But not just conversations – conversations with a purpose.

    Find what is expected of you at home and work. Go beyond expected to what is hoped for.

    Share your vision and values with the people closest to you. Find common ground.

  • Design

    Now you know what you want and what the most important people in your life want. It’s time for design.

    You want to design the life that fits you perfectly. It meets the needs and wants of the people who matter at work and at home.

    Once you think you have the right design, you’re ready for more conversations with a purpose. Get feedback from the people who will be affected by your design.

  • Development

    You think you have the ideal design. The key term in that last sentence is “think”.

    It’s time to build your life. This isn’t like building a building. It’s like building a business.

    That’s the reason we don’t say you’re the architect of your life. We believe you’re the entrepreneur of your life; building a life is more like building a business.

    So you start by testing. Test an idea. See if it brings you more harmony throughout your whole life.

    If it does, keep doing it. If it doesn’t, try something else.

    Keep testing to build the life that fits you perfectly. That’s BIGG success for real men (and women)!

Image in this post from ba1969

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How to Chase Away Your Website Visitors

running_awayMost businesses and non-profit organizations have a web site by now. Good thing since more and more people are searching online for services instead of using the phone book.



There’s a lot of advice about how your website should look. It’s important to pause to realize …

It's the experience that counts the most!

Just like in the bricks-and-mortar world, people value the experience.


marylynnI've had two bad user experiences recently. The first one has to do with a local not-for-profit organization for which I volunteer. I produce the audio for the radio and television commercials that promote the event. The commercials mention a web address to get more information. However, that address takes you to the organization's national website. I spent ten minutes trying to find the page with information about our local event.



george If memory serves, Mary-Lynn, you told me that you saw a link, “Find your local event.” But it directed you to sign up or log in to get more information.



marylynnRight! It’s crazy. I shouldn't have to sign up to simply get information. Regardless, I finally recovered my user name and password. Then I logged in, but I still haven't found the local page. I ran out of time and will have to go back.



george People who aren’t as invested as you probably wouldn’t put that much effort into finding the local information. Worse yet, they may never go back to the site.


Tip #1: Create a landing page specific for what you are promoting.

Make it easy for people to find the information they want. For example, our local branch could have a page that ends with the name of our city. They could set up an address like this:

That's a landing page. It’s the address you want to promote to people in your area for information about your local organization – especially when you’re using local TV, radio, or the newspaper.

Here's another example for a business: If you are promoting a deal, use a web address like one of these:

Create your landing page in advance. It can reiterate the most important points of your advertisement and provide more information. Also provide links to your home page and any other pages that people interested in this promotion might find useful.

Integrating your offline marketing with online marketing makes all your marketing more productive. It’s a time-tested strategy. If visitors to your site get the information they want quickly, they’ll be more likely to take the time to visit other areas of your site.


marylynnThe second bad experience occurred when I read an article online about a local tech series that is free and open to the public. The article was on our local newspaper's website. It gave details on the upcoming session and offered a link to the organization's website to get more information on all of the sessions in the series.



george So you went to the website to find out more information, and I remember hearing a … how should I describe it … a frustrated sigh coming from you.



marylynnThat’s a good way to say it. I was frustrated because I couldn't find anything about the series. I clicked on several page links, including their events link. Nothing. I used their search tool to search for the name of the event. Still nothing. Finally I went to their calendar and typed in the exact date. The first session in the series came up. It contained the same information that was in the article. Nothing further about the entire series. I was planning to put all of the dates on my calendar. I guess I’ll have to call them.


Tip #2: Make it easy to find the information you promote.

If you want people to know about your events, make it easy to get that information. Especially if your event is getting press!

Create a page like we suggested above. If you prefer to link people to your home page, create a link and highlight it so people can find it quickly and easily. For example, in the case we mentioned above, you could highlight it this way:

"Tech series starting in August"

Make it very visible on your site. When people click on that link, it will take them to the page you've created with all the information about that event.

Your site is an excellent tool to compliment your other marketing efforts. But if you don't make it easy for people to find what you’re promoting, they won't participate in your sale or event.

Prepare your web site for visitors before you advertise or send out a press release. That will help make your campaign a bigg success!

Do you have any tips from your bad user experiences? Or maybe a good experience combining your web site with traditional media? Share that with us by leaving a comment below, calling us at 877.988.BIGG(2444) or e-mailing us at

Thanks so much for reading our post today. Please join us next time when we’ll discuss artificial dissemination. Yes, you read that right! Until then, here’s to your bigg success!


Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:

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The Second Way to Create Wealth

money.jpgWhen we think talk about capital for a business, we usually think about money. One timeless wealth-building secret is to use other people’s money, commonly referred to as OPM.

The idea is to use a small amount of your own money, levered with a large amount of other people’s money.



The most obvious example is making a small down payment for your home and then borrowing the rest. Over time, you pay off the mortgage and you own the home outright. You’ve used OPM to add a significant asset to your Balance Sheet.

Of course, with our homes we have to work to pay off the mortgage. It works even better with a business or a piece of investment real estate.

All we have to invest is the small amount needed to get started. If all goes well, our customers or tenants pay off the loan for us. Now that’s a deal!

The second form of capital

We can also use human capital to create wealth. It’s kind of the Cinderella of the capital world – it doesn’t get as much focus as money as a form of capital.

But other people’s labor, or OPL, is also a way to build wealth. Of course, by “labor”, we mean time and talent. Instead of levering money, we lever time and talent.

OPL is more important going forward

OPM and OPL are the two ways people have traditionally created wealth. OPM has received more focus because we’ve relied heavily on investments in assets and infrastructure to create wealth.

But for small business owners today, the model for building wealth in the future is likely to rely more on OPL. Thanks largely to technology, we can start businesses with less money than it used to take.

Here are three guiding principles for using OPL to build wealth:

You must consider all peoples’ interests equally.

This is the principle of equal consideration of interests. It’s all for one and one for all. As the leader, you have to consider all people in your charge equally and then do what’s best for the collective whole.

So we think going forward, the people who create the most wealth will not be focused solely on their own self-interest. You have to think about what’s best for everyone who is part of your team.

Think win / win or wait.

If you’re going to work with someone, you both must win or you should wait. A win by one is a win by none in the long-term.

As bigg goal-getters, we’re always looking for ways to add value which creates opportunities to create wealth.

Your people must buy your vision.

If you have to sell your vision, the game is over before it’s even started. You want people to see how your idea benefits them. But it has to be bigger than that. It also has to serve society in a larger way – it needs to improve people’s lives. And your people must see it.

It’s a higher form of salesmanship – of leadership – that leads to bigg success today.


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Thank you so much for reading our post today.

Next time when we’ll talk about what a popular HBO show has to do with organizational structure in the years ahead. It’s related to this post so please check back in with us.

Until then, here’s to your bigg success.


Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:

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