The Secret Behind a Passionate Relationship That Lasts

loveThere’s a perception that romantic love doesn’t last in lasting relationships. So we found some fascinating research by Bianca Acevedo – now at the University of California, Santa Barbara. She conducted a study about long-term romantic love [PDF].

___

___

The subjects of her research claimed they still had an “intense romantic love” for their spouse. They had been married at least 10 years. (21 years, on average).

Some still had kids at home; others were empty-nesters. Some were still in their first marriage. Others had been divorced.

She showed them photos of:
1. their spouse
2. a close long-time friend
3. a highly familiar acquaintance
4. a person they didn’t know well

While they looked at the photos, the researchers conducted a brain scan.

Love at first sight
When looking at the photo of their spouse, participants demonstrated brain activity associated with romantic love. In fact, it was the same brain activity that people who had just fallen in love exhibited in previous studies.

Apparently, it’s possible to keep falling in love!

Benefits with friend
That’s interesting but it wouldn’t have been enough to get us to talk about it with you. It gets even better.

The researchers also found that these people also showed brain activity that indicates calmness when looking at the photo of their spouse.

Passion and peacefulness can walk hand-in-hand!

How do they do it?
Tara Parker-Pope, author of the book For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage, recently wrote an article for The New York Times, where she asked Dr. Acevedo the secret behind a passionate relationship that lasts.

The answer: Don’t let engagement end with the engagement.

Stay involved in each other’s lives. Love can be a noun or a verb. We tend to only think of it as a noun. If love is taken for granted, it will burn out.

She suggests 3 questions to determine how much passion you have in your relationship:

1. How much does your partner provide a source of exciting experiences?
2. How much has knowing your partner made you a better person?
3. In the last month, how often did you feel that your marriage was in a rut?

We think it’s a good idea to turn this question around. Ask yourself how you’re doing with these things.

You have to take action to keep up the attraction! The BIGG idea behind BIGG success is synergy. This study shows that you can have both passion and companionship.

With that, we should go. It’s time to put another log on the fire!

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file | podcast:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/biggsuccess/00613-073010.mp3

(Image in today's post by pitabox987)

2 replies
  1. Carol Roth
    Carol Roth says:

    Well, this post is definitely a departure for you guys, but quite interesting. Having been married almost 11 years myself and still very much in love with my husband (and vice versa), a lot of it goes to our commitment to a true partnership. We share common goals as well as independent goals and support each other consistently.

    Your insights, George and Mary-Lynn??

    Reply
    • George & Mary-Lynn
      George & Mary-Lynn says:

      Carol, sounds like you guys know the secret to having a passionate relationship that lasts! While we don’t talk about relationships too often, there is synergy in work and life. We don’t think it is possible to completely balance the two…sometimes work will take up more time and sometimes life will. But if your relationship is a true partnership, like you mentioned, you will weather these extremes together.

      We have a lot of passion for work. But we also find it is so important to turn away from the workload and just focus on each other. We feel so fortunate that we get to be together and work together. We truly are a team in so many ways :)

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *