Finding The "Good" In Good-Bye

By Bigg Success Staff
December 06, 2007

Life Changes

Knowing when it’s time to move on is one of the toughest decisions we ever have to make. Carlin Flora writes about this in Adieu to All That in the current issue of Psychology Today. You should check it out, especially if you’re facing or are in the midst of, a life transition.

Some people leave too soon.
The grass isn’t always greener. These people (“quitters” in the article) may miss out on the opportunities that come to those people who dedicate themselves to an organization. Changing jobs and/or careers is not a sure-fire way to advance your career. Sticking with it may serve you better.

Some people stay too long.
These people (“lingerers” in the article) are at the other end of the spectrum. They may miss out on the alternatives being created in a dynamic marketplace. Staying put doesn’t mean moving up. Moving on may serve you better.

Understand your underlying fears.
Quitters may suffer from an abnormal fear of intimacy. Lingerers may have an inordinate fear of failure. Understand what’s driving your desire to consider leaving or staying. Face your fears so you make the best decision for your future.

Learn from your past experiences.
Analyzing past exits will help you avoid making the same mistakes again. Did you burn a bridge? Did you hurt others? What caused you pain as you recalled the event.

Think carefully about what you did right and what you would change, if given the chance. Then apply that to your current situation to guide you to make the right decision.

Cut yourself some slack.
Flora does a great job of describing closure in this article. It’s worth reading it just for that. Once you’ve made your decision, accept it. Or change it. Just don’t continue to fret about it on and on and on …

We live our lives in eras. We have many simultaneous eras running at all times. It’s only natural that one or more of these eras is coming to an end at any given point in our lives. Learning when it’s time to say when, and how to do it, will make your transitions smoother.

(Photo by: johnwilson1969)