Relationship Building Blocks

By Bigg Success Staff
December 14, 2007

Timeless Principles

In the book, The Relationship Edge in Business: Connecting with Customers and Colleagues When It Counts, author Jerry Acuff and contributor Wally Wood list thirteen basic facts about people. Thoroughly understanding this list will help you with customers, employees, bosses, co-workers, business associates, friends, and even family! Here’s their list, along with our input along the way:

13 fundamental facts about human beings

• In general, people have a desire to be important.
  You win people over by building them up, not tearing them down.

• They want to be appreciated.
  Say “thanks” when they are helpful. Be grateful when you see them or hear from them.

• They are not nearly as interested in you, your interests, or your concerns, as they are in themselves. Show more interest in their interests than your own.

• Most people want two things out of life: success and happiness.
  Understand how they define success. Help them when you can – forward an article or introduce them to someone you know.

• They want you to truly listen to them with your full attention.
  Listen attentively. With your ears and your mind.

• People will connect with you only if they feel you sincerely value them.
  You can’t fake this one – you’ll be found out quickly. The only way to show them you sincerely value them is to sincerely value them!

• Most people make decisions emotionally and defend them logically.
  Understand these dueling sides of our brains. They’ll like you, or they won’t, based on how you make them feel.

• The average person’s attention span is very short.
  Keep your stories short and to the point. Respect their time.

• People with common interests have a natural rapport.
  Find your common link. Chances are there is something you share that be discovered relatively quickly. Use that connection to, well, connect with them!

• People want to be understood.
  Be empathetic – feel what they feel, see things from their point-of-view.

• People are drawn to people who are genuinely interested in them.
  Demonstrate this in little ways. For example, remember their birthday. Congratulate them on a special accomplishment. Intentionally pay attention.

• Most people love to teach.
  You’ll be surprised how much you can learn by discovering someone’s passions and interests. Let them teach you and you’ll both be happy!

• People want to associate with others who they believe can help them in some aspect of their lives. Use your special talents and abilities to help them improve themselves. After all, you love to teach, too, right?

Of course, one-sided relationships don’t work. If you find that someone you want to connect with doesn’t reciprocate by following these basic tenets, move on to someone who will. You’re too interesting and important to do otherwise!