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The Best Thing to Give

giving thanks for BIGG SuccessToday is Thanksgiving here in the U.S. It’s also the start of the most wonderful time of the year, according to Andy Williams.

It seemed only natural for this post to have two parts: thanks and giving!

So first of all, we’d like to say “Thank You” for all of your support. There’s no way for us to fully express how much your kind words, your suggestions, and your participation mean to us.

And we get paid BIGG dividends because we get to see you grow. And we grow too!

We started BIGG success four years ago. It’s been quite a ride. It certainly hasn’t been easy. But nothing worthwhile ever is, right?

Yet we have so much to be grateful for. We feel so blessed to get to do the work we love.

We feel doubly blessed because we get to do that work with each other. While many people speculate that they could never work their spouse, it works for us.

As we always say: If it works for you, it works.

And second, since Thanksgiving is followed by the season for giving, we’d like to share a great quote about giving.

It’s by one of our favorites, good ‘ol Ben Franklin. He said:

“The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity.”

Happy Thanksgiving! Until next time, here’s to your BIGG success!

Chart a New Course for Living

Mayflower | BIGG SuccessHis descendants include…

Some of our most recognized celebrities: Bing Crosby, Ted Danson, Richard Gere, Katherine Hepburn, Ashley Judd, John Lithgow, and more.

Politicians on the right and the left, including Sarah Palin and Howard Dean. Numerous members of both houses of Congress. Governors. Cabinet members. Even a President, Zachary Taylor.

The founders of the Associated Press and the ACLU.

Even the famous poet and master storyteller, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow was part of his bloodline.

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He is William Brewster. He served as the Elder of the church at Plymouth until they were able to get a pastor. As we get ready to celebrate Thanksgiving here in the United States, we found his story riveting.

BIGG success is life on your own terms. William Brewster is clearly an example of this mindset.

He lived nearly eighty years. In his time, he set out on a new course for living more than once. He did it twice.

Act 1. Setting: England

He served William Davison, who was Queen Elizabeth’s Secretary of State. Brewster stood out.

Davison soon regarded him as his most trusted advisor. Brewster was in the loop on everything. Eventually, Brewster served as an Ambassador to the Low Countries. He received recognition for his work there.

But trouble was brewing. Brewster believed in a separation between Church and State. The bishops of the Church of England had persuaded the King that people like Brewster were religious outlaws.

The authorities did everything they could to silence Brewster and his people. Brewster was one of the people singled out to spend the most time in jail.

Brewster decided it was time to chart a new course for living. He was in his early 40s at the time.

Act 2. Setting: Holland

His health had been wrecked by his time in prison. And he spent nearly all the money he had to get to Holland.

To make matters worse, his education and experience didn’t lend themselves to the work available in this new place. He couldn’t even speak the native language!

So he struggled to make ends meet in his early years. But he soon found his niche.

He discovered he had a knack for teaching English. Furthermore, there was a sizable, unserved market of people who wanted to learn English as a second language.

And they had the money to pay for this education. His niche primarily focused on the children of the dignitaries in Holland and surrounding countries.

But Brewster was an ambitious man. And he had a calling.

With a partner, he started a publishing firm. They printed books that were banned in England because they weren’t officially sanctioned by the Church.

Brewster was prosperous. Yet he hadn’t fulfilled his purpose – to lead his people from the tyranny of Church and State to complete freedom and independence.

He felt the need to chart a new course for living again.

Act 3. Setting: The New World

At 53, Brewster, his wife, and two of his five children set sail across the Atlantic. Destination: New World.

They set sail on the Mayflower. The ship wasn’t large enough to accommodate his whole family. So they left their three oldest children with their minister.

The trip was brutal. Damp. Dark. And the storms.

One storm raged so wildly that the ship’s chief timber cracked. Even the sailors on the boat were scared the boat would be ripped apart. The storm eventually subsided and the crew was able to mend the beam.

Hope waned as day after day past. However, the sight of land created a jubilation he had rarely experienced.

The jubilation soon turned into a harsh realization. He was starting over.

Food was scarce. The elements were harsh. There were no buildings, no infrastructure, no nothing.

It was the ultimate startup. They had to create everything from scratch.

But the people pulled together to make it happen. And Brewster thrived once again.

He preached. He raised his children, all of whom eventually made it across the pond. And he had his own farm.

He charted a new course for living and helped create an entire nation from scratch. In this new nation, we are free to worship as they please.

William Brewster was a BIGG success!

Are you ready to chart a new course for living? Maybe we can help!

Sources

Pilgrim Hall Museum

Scholastic

Wikipedia

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Image in this post from wikimedia

Who Gets Your Leftovers?

leftoversYesterday was Thanksgiving Day here in the U.S. So today, many American families are eating leftovers.

That’s the motivation for our post. Only we’re not thinking about leftover food. We want to talk about YOU – your time, your attention, and your love.

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A time trap
This is an easy trap to fall into. See if you can relate to this:

You get up and get ready for work. You grab a cup of coffee for the road and get into your car to drive to the office. Finally, you get to work. Next thing you know, it’s time for lunch. You eat at your desk while you keep working. You look at the clock. Where did the day go? Time to go home. You rush out to your car and hit the road.

At home, you grab a quick dinner. Then you’re off for that committee meeting for your favorite charity where you volunteer. You drive home again and sit down at your computer to check your e-mail. You read that report for tomorrow’s meeting.

It’s late. You’re tired. Better get to bed.

Leftovers and scraps

You may have a different scenario, but is the net result the same? We unintentionally take for granted the people who are closest to us.

Our family often gets our final burst of energy, if we have any energy left at all. They get our leftovers.

But there’s yet another party that we haven’t considered. We may only have scraps left for this party. It’s …

You.

3 tips to give your best to the best in your life

Put it on your schedule
Treat family time like any other important activity – put it on your schedule. When you put it on your schedule, it becomes a priority. If it’s not on your schedule, it’s likely that it will get pushed aside to more urgent, but perhaps less important, activities.

Plan an activity
Now it’s on your schedule. But if you don’t have anything planned, it is easier to push it off to another date and time. So plan to do something, anything. Go to the movies. Play games. Attend a concert. Go to a museum. It doesn’t matter – if you have an activity planned, you’ll be less likely to let the day’s events get in the way of this important time together.

Make it a regular event
Now schedule a regular event every week. For example, a couple could schedule a “date night.” You and your spouse may decide that you’re going to go out on a date every Thursday evening. It may not always happen on Thursday. So “make it up” on Friday. By having it planned regularly, it’s more likely to happen sometime during the week.

We don’t intentionally neglect our loves ones or ourselves. The problem is that we don’t intentionally make time for them. The result ends up being the same.

Instead of giving our leftovers to the most important people in our lives, we should give them the main course by planning time with them just like we do everything else that’s important to us.

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We really appreciate that you stopped by today! Join us next time as we offer up a great reality check for your spending decisions. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

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Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
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Thanksgetting

giving Do you:

  • have trouble accepting a compliment?
  • struggle when others offer you sympathy?
  • feel anxious when you get a gift? resist signs of friendship and love?

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“It’s better to give than to receive.” Our parents teach us this from the time we’re young and society reinforces it.

We wondered about the origin of this quote. It turns out that it comes from the Bible.

It is more blessed to give than to receive.

Do you notice the subtle difference?

The statement has evolved into an absolute. It started out as a relative statement. Receiving is a blessing in and of itself. We’re even more blessed when we give.

But notice that it’s not bad to be the receiver!

Completing the circle
Think about it – there can’t be a giver without a receiver. If we can’t graciously receive, we deny the giver the full joy that should come from giving.

Unselfish people feel empty if they always “get.” Giving completes the circle. So it’s important to be a good receiver as well as a good giver.

Ask yourself “Why?”
At its most extreme, not being able to graciously receive may be a sign of an underlying problem. For example, it may mean that there is a lack of self-esteem. Someone may feel unworthy of the gift or the compliment.

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marylynnI think women may have more of a problem with this than men. We often get a compliment and immediately diminish it with a negative statement.

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Some people feel that they gain power by giving. If they receive something, they owe the giver. Others may give to impress others. Some people give to try to earn friendship.

If you really have trouble receiving, ask yourself why. It’s important to find the underlying reason so you can live your life more fully as a giver and a receiver.

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georgeMy mom was one of the most giving people you could have ever met. She seemed to struggle with receiving. One example – she always tried to buy when we went out for lunch or dinner. If I grabbed the check, she protested and protested. I finally told her that I couldn’t feel any joy in her buying for me if she never let me buy for her. After that, she let me take my turns!

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How to be a good receiver

  • Start by giving without condition or expectation. In order for you to experience the full circle, you have to participate on both sides. Start by giving.
  • Recognize that receiving is part of giving. You bring joy to the giver when you willingly accept their gift. 
  • Be grateful, not objectionable. Some people are so busy objecting to the gift that they take away all the pleasure the giver feels. Don’t immediately bring up all the reasons why you don’t deserve the compliment or the gift. Just say thanks!
  • Receive generously. If you learn to receive as generously as you give, the givers in your life will live more fully. Don’t hold back your appreciation!

Receiving graciously is a gift in itself – to you and to the giver. That’s what thanksgetting is all about!

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Get the tips and tools you need to be a BIGG success!
Subscribe to the Bigg Success Weekly – it’s FREE!

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So today is Thanksgiving and we’re so thankful that you joined us! Check in on us next time as we ask, “Who gets your leftovers?” Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

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Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
http://media.libsyn.com/media/biggsuccess/00274-112708.mp3

Related posts

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It's Your Choice

thanksgiving

Today we want to discuss preferences – making the right choices for ourselves – and how our preferences affect our relationship with others and with ourselves.

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marylynnI was talking with my dad the other day. He’s really looking forward to Thanksgiving Day because he is going to cook all day. My dad is the make-everything-from-scratch kind of guy. He just can’t wait. For him, it’s going to be super-relaxing and he’s excited about it. I, on the other hand, would hate that. I can’t see how cooking and doing dishes all day is fun and relaxing.

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georgeAs we were talking about this, we realized that we assess other people, and what they’re doing, based on our own preferences.

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marylynnObviously, I don’t think what my dad’s doing is wrong. I’m happy for him that he’s excited. It’s just that it’s not what I would want to do.

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georgeI’m closer to your league, Mary-Lynn. If we were doing this whole thing ourselves, there would be a lot of semi-homemade cooking – out of the box with modifications stuff.

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marylynnI’m all about the Stove Top stuffing and getting a turkey breast instead of a whole turkey, so you don’t have to carve it. I guess what I’m saying here is that my choice is to be lazy!

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georgeWhich works fine on Thanksgiving Day for you. But I think sometimes we look at other people and wonder why in the world they’re doing what they’re doing. Like with what your dad’s doing – it works for him and brings him joy.

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The perfect meal

Then sometimes we make choices for ourselves based on what we think other people expect from us. We put pressure on ourselves to be perfect. Let’s keep the Thanksgiving theme going. We think we have to have the perfect meal – we have to serve the dinner on the china, the stuffing has to be homemade, we have to make the pies from scratch.

It’s what we’ve always done

We put all these pressures on ourselves because we think that’s what our guests expect. Those expectations may be based on tradition – this is what we’ve always done. Just because we’ve “always done” something doesn’t mean we should necessarily feel pressure to keep doing it every single time, or any time for that matter! There should be a good reason for it. 

Guilt

If you are strapped for time, if you are tuckered out, why put yourself through all of this extra work? You could just get a store-bought pie or call someone and ask them to make one or pick one up.

But if we do that, we feel guilty. Because we’re not doing what’s always been done, because our family’s going to expect that everything is going to be perfect – we’re going to have the homemade pie, the stuffing is going to be made from scratch, the turkey will be nice and golden, fresh out of the oven, ready to carve.

Who really expects it?

We do all of these things because we feel these expectations even though the people around us may not. We place all of this pressure on ourselves!

We may do this because we want everything to be perfect. That’s fine as long as it’s really your choice and you’re not doing it because you feel guilty if you don’t do it.

Conscious choices

Maybe if you really thought about it, and you talked with your loved ones, you might decide that the best solution is to go out for Thanksgiving dinner. Or have spaghetti with turkey meatballs!

That’s the point – it doesn’t matter what you do if you consciously make the choice. If it works for you and the people you care about, then it works! And this doesn’t just apply to Thanksgiving dinner!

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Get the tips and tools you need to be a BIGG success!
Subscribe to the Bigg Success Weekly – it’s FREE!

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Today we give thanks to you for joining us here. Next time, we’ll look at close encounters of the rude kind. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

Subscribe to the Bigg Success feed.

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
http://media.libsyn.com/media/biggsuccess/00272-112508.mp3

Related posts

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