When Life on Your Own Terms Creates Conflict

problematic.jpgBigg success is life on your own terms. We recently talked about how empowering it is to define your terms.

We got a great comment by Andrew R. Timms about this. He says, “… just because we decide on our terms doesn’t mean the rest of the world is going to agree or accept them.”___

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Andrew raises a very good point. It’s something we need to keep in mind as we seek bigg success

What do you do if life on your own terms creates conflict with the people around you?

Andrew goes on to say that, in some cases, a person may think that your terms are keeping them from living their life on their terms. He suggests that we assume that they’re right! Then we’re at least common ground. Now with that in mind, we can explore solutions that work for both of us.

That’s an excellent suggestion. It’s Stephen Covey’s “Seek first to understand.” We have a personal example of this.

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marylynnBefore we were married, we both talked about our career goals. I was in radio and life on my own terms meant growing as a broadcaster and sharing my talent with more and more people. That meant moving to a larger market.

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georgeI was in business for myself and teaching part-time at our local University. I loved what I did, but my businesses were here as was my part-time gig. Life on my own terms meant growing without moving.

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marylynnThese weren’t the only factors at play, but they were definitely part of the equation.

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george
So we had conflicting terms and we started looking for solutions.

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marylynnThat’s when the idea for Bigg Success came up. It allowed me to broadcast to the largest audience I could imagine – the whole world!

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georgeIt allowed me to expand my business without moving. The conflict forced us to work together to find a solution. Because of that, we both found a better opportunity than we would have had otherwise. That’s synergy!

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What if you can’t find common ground?

We were able to find a solution that allowed both of us to live our lives on our own terms. But what if we weren’t able to do that?

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marylynn

Let’s say I was determined to stick with radio.

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georgeEarlier, we alluded to the fact that there were other factors at play in how we got to Bigg Success. And Mary-Lynn, I think what you saw in the future of radio is one of those factors.

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marylynnYeah, the industry was, and is, going through some significant changes. I felt like there was a lot less opportunity for me to really grow like I wanted to, if I stayed in the business. But let’s pretend that wasn’t the case. I would have had to move for my next bigg opportunity and, George, that would have meant a long-distance relationship for us.

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Life on your own terms isn’t idyllic

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georgeNow that’s not how either of us defines life on our own terms. But there’s an important point to understand here – life on your own terms isn’t idyllic. It involves setting priorities. A long-distance relationship may not be consistent with life on my own terms. But I’d rather do that than not have a relationship with you at all, Mary-Lynn.

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marylynnWe’d both be living life on our own terms, career-wise, but obviously not the way we would prefer in our personal lives. Sometimes you can’t have it all and you just have to accept that.

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It’s a timing problem

But here’s the key – we may have to accept it for now. In the meantime, we keep looking for solutions and opportunities that get us to our ideal life, to life on our own terms. In most cases, it’s a timing problem, not something we have to accept for our whole lives.

We’re talking about the closest of relationships here, the relationships on which you place the highest priority. In other relationships, the dynamic may change as a result of living your life on your own terms. You’re willing to accept that because you know you’re headed for bigg success!

What do you do when your terms conflict with others?

You can share that with us by leaving a comment below, calling us at 888.455.BIGG or sending us an e-mail at bigginfo@biggsuccess.com. Thanks Andrew for your thoughtful comment. And thank you for reading our post today.

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Would you like more tips and tools to live your life on your own terms?
Subscribe to the Bigg Success Weekly – it’s FREE!

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Join us next time as we help a member of our community who’s looking to get back into the workforce after an extended time off.

Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

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Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
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Related posts

Own Your Life

The Power of Defining Your Terms

The 5 Elements of Bigg Success

(Image in today's post by woodsy)

2 replies
  1. Ryan
    Ryan says:

    I have spent my entire life trying to live life on my own terms, and its not always easy. I find the biggest difference between myself and others, is that I seek freedom in life, while others seek security.
    Some people put forth so much effort their entire lives, only to end up as the employee of somebody else. One thing I learned is not to impose our views on life onto other people. A lot of people just arent cut out for life on their own terms.

    Reply

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