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How Focus Leads to Failure

focus on this to be a BIGG SuccessYou need to focus if you want to be a BIGG success, right? Actually, it’s only partially true.

Listen to this post! Click a player to hear George & Mary-Lynn on The BIGG Success Show Podcast. (Duration 4:54)


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BIGG success comes to people who eliminate options. So narrow your vision down to what you really want. Then focus on those few things you need to do today to move you closer to that destination.

So far, so good. Unfortunately, that’s not how most of us work.

We get distracted. Ok, we can summon the willpower to stay on task.

There’s a bigger problem. It doesn’t affect everyone. But if you’re one of those people who experience it affect, you’re not alone.

A lot of people focus on the negative. We’re not just talking about “the glass is half empty” here.

We’re talking about people who can’t get past the past. Past failures weigh on them. And like an anchor to a ship, it keeps them firmly stuck in place.

If this sounds like you, break the cycle. And the key is focus. In our time today, we want to discuss five things you should focus on.

Focus on how

Losers focus on why. Why it won’t work. Why they (or you) shouldn’t even try. They can come up with all kinds of reasons.

And guess what? They’re right. It won’t work – for them.

While losers focus on why, winners focus on how – how to make it work.

They come up with a plan. They anticipate obstacles. They start. They learn. They adapt. And they succeed!

Focus on now

Losers focus on yesterday and tomorrow. What went wrong yesterday? What could go wrong tomorrow?

They don’t really learn anything from the past. They just remember the failures and the feelings associated with it. They assume tomorrow will be just like yesterday. And it will be!

Once they’ve extracted all valuable lessons from the past, winners forget it. They focus exclusively on the here and now. They focus only on the most important things today.

They operate under the assumption that the future will be better than the past. And it will be!

Focus on pow

Losers focus on their weaknesses and shortcomings. They beat themselves up – again and again – for these past failures. They use these failures against themselves as evidence.

It just proves it – they are not good enough, smart enough, educated enough, experienced enough, connected enough, etc.

Enough is enough!

Winners focus on pow. They focus on their strengths. They approach everything from a position of power. They know they pack a mighty punch.

Focus on vow

Losers focus on everything. They make promises to themselves and to others. But because they’re trying to be all things to all people, they usually fall short.

Winners are careful not to over-commit themselves. They make vows. Then they focus all their energy on fulfilling it before making another vow.

Focus on wow

Losers focus on doing the minimum. They only worry about meeting expectations.

Winners focus on the wow. They want to exceed expectations – on the vows they’ve made to others and more importantly, the vows they make to themselves.

So they push themselves further every day. They often surprise even themselves!

The irony of focus

When it comes to focus, you have a choice to make. You can choose to focus on what you don’t want.

Think about it. Talk about it. And you know what? You’ll get it.

Focus can lead to failure.

But if you focus on what you do want, you’ll get that instead. You get what you focus on. Focus can lead to BIGG success!

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file | podcast:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/biggsuccess/00817-070512.mp3

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How to Be Happy Today

ways to be more happy | BIGG SuccessIn her wonderful book, The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want, Sonja Lyubomirsky tells you how to be happy today.

She shares twelve simple activities to attract happiness. We’ve listed them here for you along with our thoughts on each one.

1) Expressing gratitude

If you haven’t done so already, start today building a habit of gratitude. Be thankful for all your riches. Research has shown that gratitude leads to reaching your goals.

2) Cultivating optimism

We all have a tendency one way or the other. Listen carefully to yourself. If you tend to put a pessimistic spin on things, break the habit. Optimism brings many benefits.

3) Avoiding overthinking and social comparison

Comparing yourself to others will cost you now and in the future. If you stack up favorably, you may get overconfident. You may not push as hard. If others are doing better than you, you may feel disheartened.

Stop looking at others. Look only at your personal and professional progress and take action accordingly.

4) Practicing acts of kindness

When you help people, you help yourself. It’s like a drug. In fact, the term “helper’s high” has been coined to describe the endorphin rush experienced by acts of kindness.

5) Nurturing social relationships

Life comes down to two things: relationships and experiences. Sure, you can experience things alone. Some of the time, you should!

But wouldn’t you rather share your invigorating experiences with people you love? Building relationships is one of the most important activities if you want to reach BIGG success.

6) Developing strategies for coping

The single, biggest difference between people who reach BIGG success and those who don’t is perseverance. Everybody runs full-speed ahead into a wall from time to time. Everyone has bad days.

All of us feel discouraged at times. The most successful find ways to deal with it.

7) Learning to forgive

It’s not easy to forgive someone who has seriously wronged you. It is necessary, however. As long as you don’t forgive them, you hold on to them. You’re stuck in the past.

Move on. Get rid of this mental clutter.

8) Increasing flow experiences

Flow is when you get so caught up in an activity that the world goes into suspension. Time passes without a care. You are completely immersed in the task at hand.

If you can’t find this flow in your work, get a hobby. In fact, get a hobby anyway. It’s what the most successful people do.

9) Savoring life’s joys

While this one is closely related to the first one, there is a reason to include it separately. It emphasizes the importance of moving out of the complex world to see things more simply. It will help you rediscover your creativity!

10) Committing to your goals

Losers make promises; winners make commitments. We discussed this a little bit under the sixth point. But the key here is to understand the link between your goals and your vision.

11) Practicing Religion and Spirituality

You are a three-in-one: body, mind, and spirit. You need to feed all three if you want to achieve the most happiness. Believe in a power greater than yourself. And realize that peace on earth begins with you.

12) Taking Care of Your Body

We get busy. We often fail to take care of our bodies the way we should. The two of us struggle with this one as we press for our own BIGG success.

But then we remind ourselves, that it only takes five minutes. It may not be ideal, but it’s better than nothing!

We like the fact that these twelve activities were all framed in the active tense. The song tells us, “Don’t worry, be happy.”

The better way of thinking is: Take action. Be happy today. Now that’s BIGG success!

What makes you happy?

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Dealing with Disappointment

overcoming disappointment for BIGG SuccessYou work hard, day after day.
But sometimes you feel like you have little to show for it.
Disappointment.

You outperform others, time after time.
Yet they get rewarded.
Disappointment.

You do everything you’re supposed to do.
To no avail.
Disappointment.

You crave BIGG success with all your heart and all your soul.
Heck, even just plain, old, ordinary success would do.
But it eludes you.
Disappointment.

You feel your heart sink to your toes.
That comes right after the kick in the gut.
It hurts. You hurt. All over.
Disappointment.

You’re exhausted – physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Sleep. Maybe that’s what you need.
But you wake up to the same reality.
Disappointment.

How do you deal with disappointment?

There are a number of ways. We’ll share three thoughts in our time today.

Listen to this post. Click a player to hear George & Mary-Lynn on The BIGG Success Show Podcast! (Runtime 5:30)


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Be grateful

Sounds odd, doesn’t it? But you have lots of things to be happy about.

Start with you. Be thankful for how awesome you are.

You’re a winner. You know it.

You may feel a little down, but you’re not out! No disappointment can do that to you.

You will win. You will get what you want. You will reach BIGG success.

It’s only a matter of time.

Grow stronger

Don’t lose your belief in the underlying magic in the world.

Don’t give up on your belief in the forces that will lead to your ultimate victory.

BIGG success is a destination. But it’s also a journey.

See disappointment for what it is – an opportunity to grow stronger. Seize that opportunity so you’re ready for bigger and better things to come.

Look for a sign

A beautiful flower may bloom from the seeds of disappointment. Sure, you feel like the color is gone from your world right now.

But keep the faith. You will create a colorful life. Disappointment may be giving you a sign.

It may be telling you that you’re on the wrong track.
You need to do something else.

It could be saying that you’re trying to do too much.
You need to focus.

Remain open to your intuition. It will help you determine your best path.
Reach out to your support group to see what they think.
Be willing to adapt if necessary.

We’ll close with our own paraphrase of a passage from The Science of Getting Rich, by Wallace Wattles. This is the book The Secret is based on.

You may expect a certain thing at a certain time. If it doesn’t come, you may feel like you failed. But there is no need to feel this way. Keep the faith and you will find that it only appeared to be a failure.

Keep doing those things which successful people do. Disappointment today leads to even more success tomorrow that you would have ever expected.

Soon you will see that the apparent failure led you to BIGG success!

How do you deal with disappointment?

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file | podcast:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/biggsuccess/00786-030212.mp3

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Positively the Worst Advice Ever if You Want to Find Your Talent

2 steps to find your talent | BIGG SuccessSaturday Night Live recently mocked the entitlement paradigm with a bit called You Can Do Anything. It’s about a talk show where the guests are encouraged to do whatever they think they can do.

No matter how good they are.
No matter if they’ve ever done it before.
It doesn’t matter.
You can do anything!

We agree.
You can do anything.
You may not do it well.
You may fall flat on your face.
You may fail.

With a little practice, you will surely get better at it.
With a lot of practice, you may even achieve some level of success.

But you won’t reach BIGG success. So “You Can Do Anything” is the worst advice you can ever receive.

Listen to this post! Click a player to hear George & Mary-Lynn on The BIGG Success Show. (Runtime 4:48)

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Mary-Lynn FosterI wanted to be an astronaut. But math and science were not strength. My mom said to me, “Math and science are going to be really important if you want to be an astronaut.” That was really important to me. I realized how much work it was going to take for me to be an astronaut.

Look at American Idol. The people who reach the finals, and ultimately win, have spent years honing their craft. They may be young, but most of the time, they’ve been singing for ten or more years.

Now we’re all about positive thinking. But sometimes the best thing you can discover is what you can’t do.

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George KruegerI was a decent athlete in a much earlier era of my life. But the problem is I played all sports – football, basketball, baseball. Now, I was never going to be a great basketball player. But I could have been a much better baseball player if I had been forced to focus.

Look at Michael Jordan. In our opinion, he’s the greatest basketball player of all time. He’s also a pretty good golfer. But he tried baseball and didn’t make it.

 

Which raises the question – will you be content with success?
Or is it BIGG success you’re after?

We can only conclude the latter since you’re here with us.
So you’re a BIGG goal-getter.

Step 1

To reach BIGG success, follow George Costanza’s example. Instead of following the advice we hear all the time – think “can” – do the opposite and think “can’t”.

That’s Step 1: to find your talent.

Sometimes it pays to think about you can’t do. Because you may find it easier to spot your shortcomings than your strengths. But you’re not going to stop there!

Step 2

You’re going to quickly move to Step 2: Think the opposite. You’re not a detail person? Okay. Are you a BIGG picture thinker?

Not good at math? Are you good at English?

This is what you often see. There’s a yin and yang to talent. We tend to naturally fall into categories.

Discovering what you can’t do often helps you discover what you can do. And leads to BIGG success.

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file | podcast:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/biggsuccess/00777-011312.mp3

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How to Predict Your Future

predict your future for BIGG SuccessIt had been a hard-fought battle. The contest pitted two top-ranked teams and they had not disappointed. The score was tied as the clock clicked down.

The home team had staged a drive toward their opponent’s end zone. Now the ball rested on the 7-yard line.

Listen to this post! Click the player to hear George & Mary-Lynn on The BIGG Success Show Podcast

The player ran toward the huddle. He only got a few steps from the sideline when the coach yelled at him.

“Hey,” the coach exclaimed. “Hey!”

The player stopped and turned to the coach.

The coach said, “Don’t fumble.”

You might guess what happened next. The player took the handoff. And fumbled. A player on the opposing team scooped up the ball and returned it all the way to the other end of the field to score the winning touchdown.

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George KruegerI witnessed this event firsthand. It was my high school football team. We were in the playoffs, ranked #1, and playing the #2 team. We lost by a touchdown, after we fumbled the ball on our opponent’s 7-yard line. Our season ended in a flash.

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Mary-Lynn FosterI can just imagine the emotion of the moment, George. You went from anticipation of victory to certain defeat, all in a matter of seconds.franchise in Newton for the last 21 years.

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There’s an important lesson for all of us in this story:
You can predict your future.

You’re always right

Way back in 1902, James Allen wrote As a Man Thinketh. He begins his wonderful book with this poem:

Mind is the Master power that moulds and makes,
And Man is Mind, and evermore he takes
The tool of Thought, and, shaping what he wills,
Brings forth a thousand joys, a thousand ills: —
He thinks in secret, and it comes to pass:
Environment is but his looking-glass.

 

Your thoughts predict your future.

Are you worried about fumbling? You’ll fumble.
Do you think you will never get unstuck? You won’t.
Do you think that your future will be just like your present? It will be.
Do you think that you won’t ever reach BIGG success? You’re right.

It’s your choice

Sounds cruel, doesn’t it? It’s not meant to be. But you want us to be real, right?

As long as you think nothing good will happen, nothing good will happen. Your brain will just keep focusing on those things that are making you worry.

Did you catch that? Your brain will focus on the negatives in your life. Even beyond that, it will work its very best to prove to right.

It will find the underlying rationale you need to keep you where you are.
You’re not smart enough, educated enough, attractive enough, young enough, old enough. There’s some deficiency.

That’s the reason you don’t get any breaks. Other people get them. But not you. It’s not fair. But that’s life.

This is your brain working against you. Because you’re not thinking about the right things.

Your brain will be your adversary or your ally. It’s your choice.

So turn your thinking on its head. Think about BIGG success. Then take action and you’ll become a BIGG success.

What are you thinking about right now?

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Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file | podcast:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/biggsuccess/00747-102511.mp3