How can entrepreneurs stay positive even in the face of disappointment or loss? We share three ways, plus an inspiring story.
Click the player to listen to this episode of The BIGG Success Show Podcast. Below is a summary of our discussion.
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Do you like surprise endings? Well, then, we’ve got a story for you today.
You need to focus if you want to be a BIGG success, right? Actually, it’s only partially true.
Listen to this post! Click a player to hear George & Mary-Lynn on The BIGG Success Show Podcast. (Duration 4:54)
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So far, so good. Unfortunately, that’s not how most of us work.
We get distracted. Ok, we can summon the willpower to stay on task.
There’s a bigger problem. It doesn’t affect everyone. But if you’re one of those people who experience it affect, you’re not alone.
A lot of people focus on the negative. We’re not just talking about “the glass is half empty” here.
We’re talking about people who can’t get past the past. Past failures weigh on them. And like an anchor to a ship, it keeps them firmly stuck in place.
If this sounds like you, break the cycle. And the key is focus. In our time today, we want to discuss five things you should focus on.
Focus on how
Losers focus on why. Why it won’t work. Why they (or you) shouldn’t even try. They can come up with all kinds of reasons.
And guess what? They’re right. It won’t work – for them.
While losers focus on why, winners focus on how – how to make it work.
They come up with a plan. They anticipate obstacles. They start. They learn. They adapt. And they succeed!
Focus on now
Losers focus on yesterday and tomorrow. What went wrong yesterday? What could go wrong tomorrow?
They don’t really learn anything from the past. They just remember the failures and the feelings associated with it. They assume tomorrow will be just like yesterday. And it will be!
Once they’ve extracted all valuable lessons from the past, winners forget it. They focus exclusively on the here and now. They focus only on the most important things today.
They operate under the assumption that the future will be better than the past. And it will be!
Focus on pow
Losers focus on their weaknesses and shortcomings. They beat themselves up – again and again – for these past failures. They use these failures against themselves as evidence.
It just proves it – they are not good enough, smart enough, educated enough, experienced enough, connected enough, etc.
Enough is enough!
Winners focus on pow. They focus on their strengths. They approach everything from a position of power. They know they pack a mighty punch.
Focus on vow
Losers focus on everything. They make promises to themselves and to others. But because they’re trying to be all things to all people, they usually fall short.
Winners are careful not to over-commit themselves. They make vows. Then they focus all their energy on fulfilling it before making another vow.
Focus on wow
Losers focus on doing the minimum. They only worry about meeting expectations.
Winners focus on the wow. They want to exceed expectations – on the vows they’ve made to others and more importantly, the vows they make to themselves.
So they push themselves further every day. They often surprise even themselves!
The irony of focus
When it comes to focus, you have a choice to make. You can choose to focus on what you don’t want.
Think about it. Talk about it. And you know what? You’ll get it.
Focus can lead to failure.
But if you focus on what you do want, you’ll get that instead. You get what you focus on. Focus can lead to BIGG success!
Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file | podcast:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/biggsuccess/00817-070512.mp3
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In her wonderful book, The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want, Sonja Lyubomirsky tells you how to be happy today.
She shares twelve simple activities to attract happiness. We’ve listed them here for you along with our thoughts on each one.
You work hard, day after day.
But sometimes you feel like you have little to show for it.
Disappointment.
You outperform others, time after time.
Yet they get rewarded.
Disappointment.
You do everything you’re supposed to do.
To no avail.
Disappointment.
You crave BIGG success with all your heart and all your soul.
Heck, even just plain, old, ordinary success would do.
But it eludes you.
Disappointment.
You feel your heart sink to your toes.
That comes right after the kick in the gut.
It hurts. You hurt. All over.
Disappointment.
You’re exhausted – physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Sleep. Maybe that’s what you need.
But you wake up to the same reality.
Disappointment.
How do you deal with disappointment?
There are a number of ways. We’ll share three thoughts in our time today.
Listen to this post. Click a player to hear George & Mary-Lynn on The BIGG Success Show Podcast! (Runtime 5:30)
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Sounds odd, doesn’t it? But you have lots of things to be happy about.
Start with you. Be thankful for how awesome you are.
You’re a winner. You know it.
You may feel a little down, but you’re not out! No disappointment can do that to you.
You will win. You will get what you want. You will reach BIGG success.
It’s only a matter of time.
Grow stronger
Don’t lose your belief in the underlying magic in the world.
Don’t give up on your belief in the forces that will lead to your ultimate victory.
BIGG success is a destination. But it’s also a journey.
See disappointment for what it is – an opportunity to grow stronger. Seize that opportunity so you’re ready for bigger and better things to come.
Look for a sign
A beautiful flower may bloom from the seeds of disappointment. Sure, you feel like the color is gone from your world right now.
But keep the faith. You will create a colorful life. Disappointment may be giving you a sign.
It may be telling you that you’re on the wrong track.
You need to do something else.
It could be saying that you’re trying to do too much.
You need to focus.
Remain open to your intuition. It will help you determine your best path.
Reach out to your support group to see what they think.
Be willing to adapt if necessary.
We’ll close with our own paraphrase of a passage from The Science of Getting Rich, by Wallace Wattles. This is the book The Secret is based on.
You may expect a certain thing at a certain time. If it doesn’t come, you may feel like you failed. But there is no need to feel this way. Keep the faith and you will find that it only appeared to be a failure.
Keep doing those things which successful people do. Disappointment today leads to even more success tomorrow that you would have ever expected.
Soon you will see that the apparent failure led you to BIGG success!
How do you deal with disappointment?
Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file | podcast:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/biggsuccess/00786-030212.mp3
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Saturday Night Live recently mocked the entitlement paradigm with a bit called You Can Do Anything. It’s about a talk show where the guests are encouraged to do whatever they think they can do.
No matter how good they are.
No matter if they’ve ever done it before.
It doesn’t matter.
You can do anything!
We agree.
You can do anything.
You may not do it well.
You may fall flat on your face.
You may fail.
With a little practice, you will surely get better at it.
With a lot of practice, you may even achieve some level of success.
But you won’t reach BIGG success. So “You Can Do Anything” is the worst advice you can ever receive.
Listen to this post! Click a player to hear George & Mary-Lynn on The BIGG Success Show. (Runtime 4:48)
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___
I wanted to be an astronaut. But math and science were not strength. My mom said to me, “Math and science are going to be really important if you want to be an astronaut.” That was really important to me. I realized how much work it was going to take for me to be an astronaut.
Look at American Idol. The people who reach the finals, and ultimately win, have spent years honing their craft. They may be young, but most of the time, they’ve been singing for ten or more years.
Now we’re all about positive thinking. But sometimes the best thing you can discover is what you can’t do.
___
I was a decent athlete in a much earlier era of my life. But the problem is I played all sports – football, basketball, baseball. Now, I was never going to be a great basketball player. But I could have been a much better baseball player if I had been forced to focus.
Look at Michael Jordan. In our opinion, he’s the greatest basketball player of all time. He’s also a pretty good golfer. But he tried baseball and didn’t make it.
Which raises the question – will you be content with success?
Or is it BIGG success you’re after?
We can only conclude the latter since you’re here with us.
So you’re a BIGG goal-getter.
Step 1
To reach BIGG success, follow George Costanza’s example. Instead of following the advice we hear all the time – think “can” – do the opposite and think “can’t”.
That’s Step 1: to find your talent.
Sometimes it pays to think about you can’t do. Because you may find it easier to spot your shortcomings than your strengths. But you’re not going to stop there!
Step 2
You’re going to quickly move to Step 2: Think the opposite. You’re not a detail person? Okay. Are you a BIGG picture thinker?
Not good at math? Are you good at English?
This is what you often see. There’s a yin and yang to talent. We tend to naturally fall into categories.
Discovering what you can’t do often helps you discover what you can do. And leads to BIGG success.
Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file | podcast:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/biggsuccess/00777-011312.mp3
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