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How to Know Who You Are

who am I | BIGG SuccessIt’s the question mankind has asked since we moved past foraging for food every day. It’s the root question of all philosophical studies.

The question is…

Who am I?

We humans have an instinctual desire to find our true selves. And while the subject seems very complex, there’s a very simple way to discover who you really are.

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You are what you do. You do what you are.

Say it however you want, there’s one sure way to get to know a man or woman – watch their actions.

Your actions are evidence. They demonstrate who you really are, deep down inside yourself.

It’s manifestation. The invisible becomes visible.

You show the world your true self through your actions.

Where opportunity lies

If you see a person who habitually lashes out in anger, you’ve seen an individual who is angry with themselves.

If you see someone who regularly acts out of kindness, you’ve seen a person with a kind heart.

If you see a man or woman who is apathetic about their work, you’ve seen a person who doesn’t care about anything.

If you see a person who is meticulous in their work, you’ve seen a meticulous person.

Every project, every task, every interaction is an opportunity. An opportunity to discover who you really are.

If you’re happy with the discovery, great. If not, what will you do about it?

Who are they?

One thing you can do about it is think about who you spend time with. You’ve asked yourself, “Who am I?” Now ask yourself, “Who are they?”

How do you know? By what they do!

Are they up-and-comers or down-and-outers?

You won’t win in the physical world until you win in the mental arena.

And neither will they! By hanging out with them, you’ll only pull yourself down.

Your mind’s eye view

You can’t change anyone else but you can change you. So another thing to do is think about what you think about.

In your mind’s eye, do you see a future that is bigger, better and brighter or do you see things mostly the same?

Do you see yourself in control of your future? Or do you see yourself just letting fate have its way with you?

You and you alone determine how your life will turn out. You can choose to fulfill your destiny. Or you can just let the winds blow you where they may.

What’s around you?

Also consider your environment. What is it like? Is it a largely positive influence? Does it help you live up to your potential? Or do your surroundings hold you back?

What do you feed yourself?

And what do you feed yourself? We’re not talking food here. We’re talking about your mental diet. Remember, garbage in, garbage out.

Your character is manifested by your behaviors. They show who you truly are. You have to change on the inside first. The good news is that it leads to BIGG success.

Is there a change you’re having trouble making? Maybe we can help.

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file | podcast:

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What is Your Thing?

tutors-on-tv.jpgToday we introduced a new segment on The Bigg Success Show – Tutors on TV. You really might enjoy listening because we can’t fully replicate the experience in text!



One of our favorite TV shows is How I Met Your Mother. On a recent episode, two of the characters, Barney and Marshall, were discussing that there could be more layoffs at the bank at which they both work.

Barney says he’s not worried about it because he has too much on them. But Marshall is worried.

Barney tells Marshall he needs a “thing” – something that makes him fun and well-liked. Barney points out the guy in Account Services who’s known as “The Food Guy.” There’s “Fantasy Guy”, “YouTube – Clip Guy”, and even creepy “Back Rub Guy.”

After several attempts, Marshall came up with “Sports Guy” – he ran the fantasy sports league at the office.

Although this is a comical way at looking at how to stand out, it probably isn’t going to help you keep your job. But there’s an underlying lesson that will help you build your personal brand.

A memorable characteristic

Our friend, Jay Ehret, The Marketing Guy, recently left a great comment on a show we did about personal branding. We said it was important to have a consistent persona. Jay added that it was also crucial to have at least one memorable characteristic.


georgePeople tell me all the time that they love my laugh. It’s funny – I don’t know how to develop a good laugh. But I know when I hear anyone in my family laugh, I get a kick out of it. I guess I’m lucky enough to share the same genes.



marylynnGeorge’s laugh makes people feel good. And he has a natural ability to make them laugh. People love that about him.


So what about you makes you stand out? For what do people remember you? What’s your thing? It can be as simple as a handshake. You may be sincerely likable. There are a lot of possibilities.

Beyond personality


marylynnBut it goes beyond personal characteristics. It’s also about what you’re really good at. I think I’m pretty good at audio production. I have experience, but also a real passion for it.



georgePeople often comment about the production quality of The Bigg Success Show. I tell them Mary-Lynn gets all the credit for that. For example, she created the fun sound effect for our show today as well as all the sound you ever hear on our show.


You may be the go-to person or the connector – you’ve got a great Rolodex. You may be the person who can lead people others can’t. Once again, there are a lot of places to find your thing.


Would you like more tips and tools to live your life on your own terms?
Subscribe to the Bigg Success Weekly – it’s FREE!


Finding your thing

We think you often find your thing where your passions meet your proficiencies. What do you love? What are you really good at? They’re not always the same, but they often are.

If you’re a really humble person, it may be hard to think about what your thing is. But fortunately, there’s a really good solution …


Ask your family, friends, and closest associates what they think that thing is for you.

A bigg request

We want to do more segments of Tutors on TV. We’d love it if you help us out. Have you learned a thing or two from a TV show?

Please share that with us by leaving a comment below, calling us at 877.988.BIGG or sending us an e-mail at

We thank Jay for sharing his fantastic insight with us. And we thank you so much for reading our post today.

Please join us next time when talk about sharing toys. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!


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Like, If You Want to be Liked, You, Like, Have to Read These 5 Traits!

Some people are just likeable. There’s just something about them. You sense it instantly and it draws you to them.

Being likeable is important personally, but it’s also very important professionally. Here are five things we’ve observed from meeting people who are likeable:

#1 – People who are likeable are confident in themselves.
This confidence exudes from inside themselves. They are comfortable with themselves and as a result you feel comfortable with them. If you want other people to like you, you have to like yourself. That’s the starting point.

#2 – People who are likeable are welcoming.
From their posture, their body language, and how you see them interact with others, they seem to invite other people to reach out to them.

#3 – People who are likeable give you a warm reception.

They have a good handshake and let’s face it, there is such a thing as a bad handshake. They smile and greet you sincerely. They instantly make you feel like a friend.

#4 – People who are likeable are engaging.
Sure, they have plenty to say, but they don’t dominate the conversation. They ask you a lot of questions and listen attentively to your answers. They take a genuine interest in you.

#5 – People who are likeable are just plain fun.
They’re light-hearted. They don’t take themselves too seriously – often exhibited by a certain self-deprecating humor. Or they just look at life through a lens that brings a comedic sense to the things we all experience.

The underlying secret to being likeable
The thread that holds all of these things together is that people who are likeable …

… make other people feel good about themselves.

It’s really very simple, if you make people feel good about themselves, they’ll feel good about you. They’ll like you!

And the reward is that by being genuinely interested in other people, you’ll learn more from them than you can learn any other way. From what they do, to what they’ve experienced, to their philosophy on life. You’ll come away from almost every conversation enriched.

What do you think makes people likeable?
Leave a Comment below!

Our bigg quote today is by Mark Twain, who said,

“He liked to like people, therefore people liked him.”

So to connect with human beings, enjoy humans being.

Next time, we’ll blog about the billionaire and the batboy. What Warren Buffett learned from Eddie Bennett, perhaps the most famous batboy of all time. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

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5 Laws of Stratospheric Success

The Go-Giver is a great story about Joe, an ambitious, young go-getter who desperately needs to make a sale before the end of the quarter. So he goes to Pindar, the wise consultant, for mentoring. Pindar doesn’t help Joe make a sale.

Today, we were fortunate to have Bob Burg, one of the authors of The Go-Giver on The Bigg Success Show. Here are the highlights of the conversation:

Mary-Lynn: So Bob, your character Joe learns the 5 laws of stratospheric success. What are they?

Bob: #1 – Law of Value. Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.

Now that sounds counterproductive. How do you give more in value than you accept in payment and still prosper? We need to understand the difference between price and value. Price is a dollar figure; value is the relative worth to the end user.

For example – You hired an accountant to do your returns, and they charged you a fee of $500, but through their diligence, hard work, and knowledge, they were able to save you $2,000. They provided you $2,000 in value while charging you a $500 price. They made a profit, but you felt great about the transaction. That’s the kind of transaction that we want to have with our customers.

Alright, #2.

Bob: #2 – Law of Compensation. Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them.

Law #2 tell us that the greater the number of people we provide exceptional value to, the more money with which we’ll be rewarded. So Law #1 talks about the value; Law #2 talks about the reach.

Mary-Lynn: The word-of-mouth, right?

Bob: Exactly. And when you provide great value to people, you have all of these people who feel so good about you that you develop an army of, what I call, personal walking ambassadors.

George: What’s #3, Bob?

Bob: #3 – Law of Influence. Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people's interests first.

Now again, this sounds polyanna, at best, but it’s actually quite practical. Because all things being equal, people will do business with (and refer business to) people they know, like, and trust.

And as you guys know, there’s no faster, no more effective, no more powerful way to elicit those feelings toward you in others, than by finding ways to put the other’s person’s interests first. Always thinking – How can I add value to this person? How can I help this person in their life?

George: Boy, it seems like you see people do the opposite. They think – What can I get from this person, rather than what can I give them?

Bob: Well, and that’s why a lot of people are broke!

Mary-Lynn: Alright, Law #4.

Bob: #4 – Law of Authenticity. The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself.

All the techniques and all the skills are all for naught, if you’re not authentic and if you don’t come across as authentic. However, when you are your true self, then what happens is it takes those skills, those techniques, and it multiplies them geometrically.

So please understand, skills are necessary, the knowledge is necessary, it’s all necessary, but without the authenticity, the power just isn’t there.

Mary-Lynn: Yeah, people are pretty smart. They can see a fake when one’s out there.


George: Bob, what’s the fifth law?

Bob: #5 – Law of Receptivity. The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving.

Pindar, the mentor, says to Joe, “Joe, I want you to breathe out and don’t breathe in.” So Joe tries. After eight seconds – he’s gasping … ten seconds – gasping … twelve seconds … he cannot do it any longer.

He finally starts coughing, He says, “Pindar, I have to breathe in. I can’t just breathe out.”

Pindar says, “Well, Joe, what if I told you it’s been scientifically proven that it’s healthier to breathe out than it is to breathe in?”

“That’s crazy! You have to do both.”

You must breathe out, which is giving, and you must breathe in, which is receiving.”

Bob, it seems like sometimes we give and give, but we run into those people who do nothing but take. What’s the advice for that?

Bob: You know, you’re right. There are some people who have really mastered the art of giving, but haven’t mastered the art of receiving, which is one thing we really show you how to do in the book. We’ve had some nice feedback on that.

Regarding your excellent question, I think we have to be careful, because being a go-giver should never be confused with being a martyr or being self-sacrificial. We need to make sure we’re associating with, and attracting, the type of people into our lives who are go-givers themselves, or can learn to be go-givers.

Thanks, Bob for visiting with us!

Get the book to see all that Joe learns about being a go-giver.

Just to show you that Bob believes what he says …

you can get a free chapter of The Go-Giver by visiting his site.

Our bigg quote today is by Taisen Deshimaru:

“To receive everything, one must open one’s hands and give.”

So give unselfishly and receive abundantly.

Next time, we’ll discuss 5 success factors. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!


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Make It a Double

By Dana Mancuso
Bigg Success Contributor

Timeless Principles


Remember the movie, "Pay It Forward", where the characters were asked to do something nice for the next person down the line, rather than repaying the one who did something nice for them?

Recently, I was privileged to be in a local coffee shop when I saw one of these little acts of kindness. The man in front of me in line was pleasantly surprised that his latte had been paid for by the last customer. She wasn't even in the store any longer at this point, but it sure made that man's day. Maybe you have seen this or even done this yourself?

What I think is so great about the pay it forward idea is that you make it a double. You not only make someone's day with a little surprise, you make your own day, because, let's face it, we feel great about ourselves when we help others. And in the case of the coffee shop, that woman made it a triple—and beyond, because my spirits were lifted, and now I'm even sharing that good news with you.

So, take a minute next time you think of it and pay the next car's toll, or just get someone's coffee. It's a pick-me- and pick-YOU-up! And what better way to feel successful than to create little moments of success for yourself and others. 

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Hear today's lesson and laugh on The Bigg Success Show. 

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How To Succeed The George Costanza Way

By Bigg Success Staff

Timeless Principles


Do you remember the Seinfeld episode where all the characters turned into their opposites?

George was unattached, unemployed and still living with his parents. He decided that every decision he had ever made was wrong because he was 180 degrees from the life he wanted.  

Since his life was the complete opposite of what he wanted, George decided that he would do the opposite of what his instincts told him. Then he should get his dream life.

Guess what? It worked! The next thing you know, George had a girlfriend, a job with the New York Yankees, and his own place.

We can learn a timeless lesson from George Costanza. There are two ways to succeed.

  • Do what successful people do.
  • Do the opposite of what unsuccessful people do.

We’ve heard it before – successful people do what unsuccessful don’t. While this saying is easy to remember, it doesn’t explicitly state an important fundamental of success.

It’s often easy to do something once. It’s a little harder to do it twice. It’s very difficult to make it a habit. Yet successful people have different habits than unsuccessful people.

That’s the difference – the habits!

You have to consistently pursue success. Moment by moment. Day after day. Year after year. It doesn’t happen in a flash.

It’s not always exciting. It’s about the nitty-gritty. Paying attention to little things.

It’s self-discipline. To do what you need to do, not what you want to do.

It’s delayed gratification. Accepting less now so you can have more later. 

It’s persistence. You have to keep on keeping on. No matter what. Overcome obstacles and keep pushing. Never give up.

Remember this basic principle …
If you continue to do what you’ve always done, then the best you can expect is what you already have.

If you don’t want more of the same, you’ll have to change your habits. Find out what makes successful people successful and do that, or look at unsuccessful people’s habits and do the opposite.

That’s how to succeed the George Costanza way!

Find out when we post new articles. Subscribe to the Bigg Success Weekly.

Hear today's lesson and laugh on The Bigg Success Show. 

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The Face In The Glass

By Bigg Success Staff

Timeless Principle

face in glass jpg

As we enter another year, here’s an old poem that reminds us that the only opinion of yourself that really counts is your own!

The Face In The Glass
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to a mirror and look at yourself
And see what that face has to say

For it isn’t your father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass,
The person whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.

Some people might think you’re a straight-shootin’ chum
And call you a great gal or guy,
But the face in the glass says you’re only a bum
If you can’t look it straight in the eye.

That’s the one you must please, never mind all the rest,
That’s the one with you clear to the end,
And you know you have passed your most dangerous test
If the face in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you’ve cheated the face in the glass.

Your reputation is important. It is built moment by moment, action by action, day by day. You can spend years building a good reputation and then lose it with a single act. You can recover – but it will take even more time than it did before.

That’s why you should be more concerned with your character, than with your reputation. Your reputation is what others think of you. Your character is who you truly are.

If you continually develop your character, you won’t have to worry about your reputation. That’s why you need to know what’s most important to you.  As you internalize your core values, you’ll find that your actions, in the moment, are likely to be consistent with them.

You’ll tend to say and do things of which you can be proud. Just as important, you’ll stop yourself before you do something that will bring you dishonor.

It’s what we, here at Bigg Success, call “the light of day” test. If it won’t stand up in the light of day, don’t do it. If you feel like you need to hide it, don’t do it. That way, you’ll always be proud of who you see in the mirror!

Hear today's lesson and laugh on The Bigg Success Show. 

(Image of face in glass by antkriz, CC 2.0)