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Are You Afraid of Success?

afraid We won’t name names. However, we’ve all seen it – usually with a celebrity – a person who is on the verge of bigg success, but then they go through a meltdown.

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We wonder what could have caused it. Usually, it’s a very individual thing but there are some common reasons:

#1 – Self-doubt
You’re not sure that you can handle bigg success. You worry about what you don’t know. You dwell on what you don’t have (a common worry is not having the right degree). You tell yourself all the reasons why you don’t deserve this level of success, even though you’re so close to it.

#2 – Fear of loss
If you become more successful than your friends, what will they think? Will they still be your friends? Will they be jealous of your success? You know the answer to these questions already. What kind of friend wouldn’t be thrilled with your bigg success?

#3 – Fear of embarrassment
This fear is a carry-over from childhood – that adolescent fear of standing out from the group. You’re afraid of what people will think if they see you fail. Which leads us to …

#4 – Fear of failure
You may think that it’s better to have never experienced bigg success, than to have it and then lose it. Somehow it’s better to never get there. But why do you assume it will be fleeting?

The net result is that we talk ourselves out of succeeding bigg. We accept that it’s better to be part of the crowd than to blaze our own trail. We feel more comfortable. It seems less risky. But we’re wrong!

How to conquer your fear of bigg success

#1 – Self-talk is so important.

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marylynnAs a first-time entrepreneur, fear has crept in on occasion. I’ve been lucky to have George around. He’s helped me understand that negative self-talk isn’t going to help you succeed. You have to turn it around.

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georgeEven as an experienced business owner, I still have to battle that little voice that impedes bigg success. You just have to constantly keep telling yourself why you will do it.

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Think of all the things you’ve done right to get this far. Remind yourself of the obstacles that you faced and how you overcame them. Focus on the things that have already gone your way.

#2 – You don’t have to get it perfect; you just have to keep going.
It certainly hasn’t been perfect up to this point, has it? So why would it have to be perfect from here on out? Enjoy the journey. Enjoy the growth you’re experiencing.

Every time we reach another plateau, we celebrate our victory. Then we look back and realize the victory had already occurred. We grew. We learned so much. That’s the real joy of bigg success!

#3 – Success comes one level at a time.
Sure you have to keep your eye on that ultimate goal. But you get there one step at a time. You only have to take the next step.

You’ve learned enough to know how to do that. Perhaps more importantly, you’ve already learned how to find out anything you don’t already know.

#4 – Surround yourself with people who have made it.
We can’t possibly over-emphasize this point. Develop a support network of mentors and coaches. People who were once where you are now, but are now where you want to be.

Don’t be afraid to take those little steps that lead to bigg success!

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Evidence shows that more and more of us are running two businesses simultaneously. Next time, we’ll get some tips from an expert who’s doing just that. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

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My Rental Property is Costing Me Money. What Should I Do?

Bigg Challenge
Jeff’s job took him several states away from a rental property that he bought about two years ago. He bought the property and fixed it up. Now his tenant is moving out and the place is a mess. So he’s going to have to invest a bunch again. But he feels he has no choice since he has so much in it already. Besides, it’s a bad time to sell real estate. He wants our thoughts on his situation.


Bigg Advice

It’s been said,

“Find a landlord who lives more than twenty minutes from his
rental and you’ll find a landlord who’s probably ready to sell.”

Properties can be managed across cities and states, but for the most part, real estate is a very local business. And, a lot of people don’t understand that you’re in business even if you only have one rental property.

Consult with a good attorney

You’ve treated this like a business, Jeff. You had your tenant sign a lease. But a lot of landlords feel like there’s little recourse if a tenant tears up the place. However, you can take legal measures against a tenant who causes damage beyond normal wear and tear.

So consult with an attorney to explore your options. There’s a good chance your attorney may handle your case on a contingency. Of course, you’ll still have to cover the courts costs.

Sell!

Check with a realtor, and even other property owners, to get an idea of what to expect if you list your property. Of course, you won’t know until you actually put it on the market, but you can probably make a reasonable guess with some more information.

Sure, we hear news reports that the real estate market is down. However, you may find it’s not as bad as you think. And here’s the thing … isn’t it better to fix it up and let it sit empty than to fix it up just to fix it up again if your next tenant does the same thing?

Distance makes the difference
Every landlord risks bad tenants, but since you live so far away, Jeff, it seems like the best move for you. The only other thing you might consider is contracting with an experienced local property manager to handle the leasing and maintenance.

You sunk my battle ship!
Picture a ship that’s sunk. You can invest money to try to make it float again, or you could just leave it on the bottom of the ocean and get a different ship. Hopefully, you quickly see which one of those two is better.

George said that, unfortunately, he’s learned this the hard way. It’s not easy when you’re the one in the middle of the situation. But the money you’ve already invested is a sunk cost, like the sunken ship. Don’t base your decision today on money that’s already been spent. Base it on what kind of return you can get on the money you will invest. If it’s better elsewhere, cut your losses and move on.

We hope this helps you with your bigg decision, Jeff. Thanks for sharing your Bigg Challenge with us!

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I Lost My Job Because of Organizational Downsizing! Now What?

Bigg Challenge:
We received an e-mail from Christina who was one of a number of people let go in a corporate downsizing. She’s feeling a mix of emotions right now. She gave 100 percent to her employer and was identified in the community by her job. She’s having a hard time and wondered if we might be able to offer some tips to get through this. 

Bigg Advice:
We’re so sorry to hear about your situation, Christina. It’s natural to feel a roller-coaster of emotions immediately after a dismissal. So how do you deal with it?

Find a way to mentally escape for a bit.
One way to do this is to turn to music. On the show, Mary-Lynn shared some favorites:

  • Ramble On (Led Zeppelin)
  • Freefallin’ (Tom Petty)
  • Cool Change (The Little River Band)
  • Don’t Give Up (Peter Gabriel)
  • Roll With the Changes (REO Speedwagon)

It’s a grieving process
You’re going through a grieving process, Christina. Sounds strange, doesn’t it? But that’s what it is – you’re grieving the “death” of your job.

In her book, On Death and Dying, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross identified the five stages of grief: 

  • denial
  • anger
  • bargaining
  • depression
  • acceptance

We’re sure you can relate to some, or all, of these. It’s only natural. Allow yourself to be human and give yourself permission to ride this emotional roller-coaster.

You may go through the stages sequentially, but it’s more likely that you’ll jump around. Let yourself go through it. Grieving is a process. You won’t be over this loss overnight so don’t set unrealistic expectations for yourself.

Talk to people who care about you. And seek professional help if you think it will help.

Moving on
The good news is … you can replace your job! It may not be easy. It may not come quickly. But you can do it!

So when you’re ready, start planning to move on. Picture yourself in your new job. Maybe you envision a career change. Or a business of your own. Develop a plan to get what you want.

Perhaps you’ll need some more education. You may need to get some experience first. Your plan can factor in all of these things.

You may still be grieving, but you’ll likely reach the acceptance stage faster if you focus on your future, instead of the past. Then do something about it. Try to do something every day that moves you toward your new life.

Sometimes what seemed like a bad thing turns out to be a blessing. Many people have found their passion when they were forced to do so. Maybe you’ll be the next one!

Our thoughts are with you, Christina. E-mail us anytime to let us know how you’re doing.

If you have a suggestion for Christina, leave a Comment!

Our bigg quote today comes from Kenji Miyazawa:

“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.”

And as Journey would say … Don’t Stop Believin’

Next time, we’ll talk give out 100 tips to succeed bigg. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

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Dealing With The Loss Of A Job

By Bigg Success Staff
01-24-08

Life Changes

roller_coaster_track

One of the most stressful events anyone can endure is the loss of a job. It can create a crisis of confidence, since we often link our self-worth to our performance at work.

It’s natural to feel a roller-coaster of emotions immediately after a dismissal. So how do you deal with it?

Understand what you’re going through
You’re grieving. Sounds strange, doesn’t it? But that’s what it is. You are grieving the “death” of your job.

In her book, On Death and Dying, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross identified the five stages of grief: 

  • denial
  • anger
  • bargaining
  • depression
  • acceptance

Can you relate to any of these states? Of course you can. It’s only natural.

Allow yourself to be human
Give yourself permission to ride this emotional roller-coaster. You may go through the stages sequentially, but it’s more likely that you’ll jump around.

Let yourself go through it. Grieving is a process. You won’t be over this loss overnight. Don’t set unrealistic expectations for yourself.

Talk to people who care about you. Seek professional help if it will help. Allow yourself to be human, if only this once.

Plan to move on
Here’s some good news – you can replace your job! It may not be easy. It may not come quickly. But you can do it!

Plan to move on. Picture yourself in your new job. Maybe you envision a career change. Or a business of your own. Develop a plan to get what you want.

Perhaps you’ll need some more education. You may need to get some experience first. Your plan can factor in all of these things.

You may still be grieving, but you’ll likely reach the acceptance stage faster if you focus on your future, instead of the past. Then do something about it. Try to do something every day that moves you toward your new life.

Losing a job is tough to accept. You have to go through the grieving process. Don’t rush it, but push yourself every day to get on with your life.
Many people have found their passion when they were forced to do so. Maybe you’ll be the next one!

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