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Be a Success by Custom Designing Your Life

designing your life | BIGG SuccessWhen you were born, there was a promise made to the world. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to fulfill that promise.

It’s your reason for being.

Only you can discover it and bring it to life.

In order to truly feel whole, you must design your life so you deliver upon the promise and reach your full potential.

To find your purpose, look at your passions, proficiencies and preferences.

Listen to this post! Click a player to hear George & Mary-Lynn on The BIGG Success Show Podcast


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Passions

One of the most common questions we get is how to discover one’s passions. Set aside some time to reflect. Select a place where you can relax. Have paper and pen in hand (okay, your notebook computer will do).

Ask yourself these questions:

  • What would you do even if you didn’t get paid to do it?
  • Of all the things you do now, what brings you the most joy?
  • What activities do you perform where time just flies by?
  • Are there things you used to really enjoy doing, but for some reason you don’t make time for now?
  • What really fascinated you as a kid?
  • What classes really piqued your interest?

Can you see any common threads running between your answers?

It’s often not the activity itself that we’re passionate about. Instead, we actually love one or more components of it.

One final note: This is a process. Don’t get discouraged if the answer isn’t readily obvious to you. Keep letting your mind (and your heart) ponder these questions and your answers. Don’t fret – you’ll find your passions.

Preferences

We all have a favorite color. We also have preferences for a bunch of other things.

  • Do you prefer to work on the “BIGG picture” or are you a “detail” person?
  • Are you a hands–on or hands–off kind of person?
  • Do you prefer to work at a desk or do you like to be out in the field?
  • Do you like to work with a lot of people, only a few, or alone?
  • Would you rather work at an office or from home?

These are just a few examples of your preferences regarding work. But your life is about more than just work. Think about preferences in your personal life as well.

Passions are about the bigger picture. Preferences are about the finer points. In order to live your life on your own terms, you have to find those places where your passions and preferences align.

Proficiencies

  • What do you find easy to do that others find difficult?
  • What classes did you ace in school?
  • What assignments have you excelled at in your career?

While there is much debate among scholars about the importance of innate ability compared to developed skills, we believe it’s a combination.

BIGG success comes when you master a craft (personally and/or professionally) that plays to your natural gifts. It takes a lot of work to master a craft which is why it’s so important to discover your passions and preferences first.

Purpose

Your purpose flows from your passions, preferences and proficiencies. The place where they converge is your center, your purpose. At this point, you feel abundant energy.

With your purpose in mind, you can begin exploring for opportunities. You’re starting with you in mind and then finding an opportunity to match.

That’s life on your own terms.

It’s also the opposite of how most people do it. They find an opportunity and try to match themselves to it.

But they don’t feel energized. They don’t feel fulfilled.

But you’re a BIGG goal-getter. You’ll progress to your full potential by living with purpose, on purpose.

You’ll fulfill the promise that was made to the world at your birth. That’s BIGG success!

Have you found your purpose? If not, maybe we can help.

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file | podcast:
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Getting to Know You – Part 2

personalitytype_logoToday on The Bigg Success Show, we continued our conversation with Paul Tieger, who is an expert on personality types, creator of PersonalityType, and author of the best-selling book “Do What You Are”. Last time, we discussed how personality types can help you understand who you are and see your natural strengths and blind spots. Now let’s get back to the conversation …

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marylynnNow Paul, George and I both took your free assessment. Then I went ahead and paid for the full complete profile. So I have my Career Profile here. When I look at the career paths that would make me happy, they all make sense because they’re in line with my natural preferences. I like how you list what my weaknesses are – those blind spots for which I need to be on the lookout. Again as I’m reading through it, I’m shaking my head in agreement.

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paul_tiegerThis report has your work-related strengths and your possible weaknesses. Another piece that’s very important is your career satisfiers. There’s a list of ten career satisfiers for each type. These are the things you need in a career to be juiced by it. The report never says that this is 100 percent true for you. What it does is say, “Okay, out of these ten things, which is most true for you?” You might find five of those things as most important, but knowing that is very helpful when it comes time to evaluate one job versus another.

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marylynnAnd even if you’re feeling a sense of dissatisfaction with where you are, to be able to look at this and say, “Well, that’s why. I don’t have this going on or I don’t have that.” I think this is so timely right now, especially as people are losing their jobs and being forced to find something new.

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paul_tiegerYou raise a great point because a lot of the jobs that people have now are never coming back. So even if it’s a job you love and even when the economy turns around, that opportunity may not be around in any company. So in this report, we give you many categories – probably about seventy or eighty jobs – that you can look at and say, “That’s something I never thought of before.” But they’re all things that are going to make sense to you based on the research we’ve done over many years. The other piece, that I’m really proud of and that really resonates with people, is that this report helps people approach a job search using their strengths and blind spots. I’m not a fan of generic advice. Everybody says in the career world that you have to go network. That’s true, but networking is a natural activity for extroverts but not for introverts. So we give introverts things to do that work much better for them. It’s a real customized approach to career counseling.

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georgeNow Paul, I’d like to take our conversation in a different direction. Mary-Lynn’s an ESFP (Extrovert, Sensor, Feeler, Perceiver) and I’m an INTP (Introvert, iNtuitive, Thinker, Perceiver). Now is there any hope at all for us working and living together? The question really is – does this help you fill in gaps on your team if you’re a leader?

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paul_tiegerAbsolutely. My core business is called Speed Reading People. It’s a company that travels around the world training leaders – how to lead and manage – and sales people – how to sell and influence. We offer very prescriptive and practical advice about how to approach a person based on personality type. For example, if you are an INTP, you’re much more theoretical than Mary-Lynn is and you like to make connections. That was very clear to me from your first question. You weren’t talking about what is; you were talking about what might be. You were connecting and linking ideas. That’s what intuitive people do. So if I was talking to you about something and I said, “Let me tell you about my product.” If I gave you every detail that was on my spec sheet, your eyes would close and you would start to doze off within five or six seconds. Because that’s not what you want to know. You want to know the high concept. You want to know why it works and how you can apply it. So if I know that about you, that’s what I’m going to talk about. On the other hand, if I was talking to a very strong sensing type who really did want to know about all that stuff, then I would march them through the facts, the specifics, why it’s worked and where it’s worked in the past. It’s really about speaking the other person’s language. So that’s what speed reading people allows you to do.

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georgeThat’s really awesome. Especially since today, we have four generations in the workforce. As their leader, you have to get down to that individual level and relate to them one-on-one.

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marylynn
We didn’t really touch on this … what is your definition of speed reading people, Paul?

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paul_tiegerSpeed reading people is quickly understanding a person’s core values and motivations based on observable clues like their demeanor, energy level, vocabulary, and body language. The goal is speed reaching people – understanding how to communicate with that person on their level. I just gave an example of this based on the detail-person versus the high-concept person. People are motivated by different things. If you, Mary-Lynn, are a feeling-type and George is a thinking-type, then you’re motivated by very different things. If you do a good job, Mary-Lynn, and I thank you and tell you how much I appreciate it, that’s going to mean something to you. What will make George happy is telling him that his brilliant idea really helped move the ball forward. In other words, people like to be reinforced for what their gifts are. The gift of an ESFP is somebody who is helpful in practical ways. That’s what they want to be reinforced for. It’s very powerful. I’ve been doing this for over 25 years and I still have insights every day.

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marylynn
We can’t let you go without finding out what personality type you are.

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paul_tiegerThat’s way too personal! I’m an Extrovert – Intuitive – Feeling – Perceiving type. So you and I, Mary-Lynn, are similar in Extrovert, Feeling and Perceiving. People connect on dimensions with which they’re similar. That’s why the more similar people are, the easier the communication. The more different, the more challenging the communication. I didn’t say they don’t have a shot; they can really balance themselves out very well but it’s more challenging. So that’s my type and it’s really kind of a very entrepreneurial, counseling, artsy kind of person. And that’s what I do in my life.

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marylynn
No wonder it’s been so easy talking with you!

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george
I found it very challenging!

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paul_tieger
I found you very challenging!

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george Well, Paul, I have to say that out of all you’ve said, the thing I was most glad to hear was that you could give a quick definition of speed reading people!

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george You did fantastic. Because if you can’t give a quick definition of speed reading people, then we’d have to start questioning you!

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paul_tiegerYou are such a perfect example of your type! Which you don’t like to hear, because you guys like to be independent. So you don’t like to hear that there’s anybody else out there like you, but there are. Well, not quite like you.

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george
Thank goodness for them!

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What is your personality type?

You can find out by taking the free Personality Type Assessement we discussed today.

*Special Offer: To get a 10% discount on your full career report, use promo code: biggsuccess

We thank Paul so much for sharing his time and wisdom with all of us. And we thank you for the gift of your time today.

Please join us next time when we’ll discuss celebrating others’ bigg success. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

Subscribe to the Bigg Success feed.

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
http://media.libsyn.com/media/biggsuccess/00419-061809.mp3

Related posts

Getting to Know You – Part 1

Bigg Success Primer

Stop Trying to Fit into the World

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(Image in today's post from PersonalityType.com)

When Life on Your Own Terms Creates Conflict

problematic.jpgBigg success is life on your own terms. We recently talked about how empowering it is to define your terms.

We got a great comment by Andrew R. Timms about this. He says, “… just because we decide on our terms doesn’t mean the rest of the world is going to agree or accept them.”___

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Andrew raises a very good point. It’s something we need to keep in mind as we seek bigg success

What do you do if life on your own terms creates conflict with the people around you?

Andrew goes on to say that, in some cases, a person may think that your terms are keeping them from living their life on their terms. He suggests that we assume that they’re right! Then we’re at least common ground. Now with that in mind, we can explore solutions that work for both of us.

That’s an excellent suggestion. It’s Stephen Covey’s “Seek first to understand.” We have a personal example of this.

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marylynnBefore we were married, we both talked about our career goals. I was in radio and life on my own terms meant growing as a broadcaster and sharing my talent with more and more people. That meant moving to a larger market.

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georgeI was in business for myself and teaching part-time at our local University. I loved what I did, but my businesses were here as was my part-time gig. Life on my own terms meant growing without moving.

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marylynnThese weren’t the only factors at play, but they were definitely part of the equation.

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george
So we had conflicting terms and we started looking for solutions.

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marylynnThat’s when the idea for Bigg Success came up. It allowed me to broadcast to the largest audience I could imagine – the whole world!

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georgeIt allowed me to expand my business without moving. The conflict forced us to work together to find a solution. Because of that, we both found a better opportunity than we would have had otherwise. That’s synergy!

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What if you can’t find common ground?

We were able to find a solution that allowed both of us to live our lives on our own terms. But what if we weren’t able to do that?

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marylynn

Let’s say I was determined to stick with radio.

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georgeEarlier, we alluded to the fact that there were other factors at play in how we got to Bigg Success. And Mary-Lynn, I think what you saw in the future of radio is one of those factors.

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marylynnYeah, the industry was, and is, going through some significant changes. I felt like there was a lot less opportunity for me to really grow like I wanted to, if I stayed in the business. But let’s pretend that wasn’t the case. I would have had to move for my next bigg opportunity and, George, that would have meant a long-distance relationship for us.

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Life on your own terms isn’t idyllic

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georgeNow that’s not how either of us defines life on our own terms. But there’s an important point to understand here – life on your own terms isn’t idyllic. It involves setting priorities. A long-distance relationship may not be consistent with life on my own terms. But I’d rather do that than not have a relationship with you at all, Mary-Lynn.

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marylynnWe’d both be living life on our own terms, career-wise, but obviously not the way we would prefer in our personal lives. Sometimes you can’t have it all and you just have to accept that.

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It’s a timing problem

But here’s the key – we may have to accept it for now. In the meantime, we keep looking for solutions and opportunities that get us to our ideal life, to life on our own terms. In most cases, it’s a timing problem, not something we have to accept for our whole lives.

We’re talking about the closest of relationships here, the relationships on which you place the highest priority. In other relationships, the dynamic may change as a result of living your life on your own terms. You’re willing to accept that because you know you’re headed for bigg success!

What do you do when your terms conflict with others?

You can share that with us by leaving a comment below, calling us at 888.455.BIGG or sending us an e-mail at bigginfo@biggsuccess.com. Thanks Andrew for your thoughtful comment. And thank you for reading our post today.

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Would you like more tips and tools to live your life on your own terms?
Subscribe to the Bigg Success Weekly – it’s FREE!

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Join us next time as we help a member of our community who’s looking to get back into the workforce after an extended time off.

Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

Subscribe to the Bigg Success feed.

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
http://media.libsyn.com/media/biggsuccess/00368-040809.mp3

Related posts

Own Your Life

The Power of Defining Your Terms

The 5 Elements of Bigg Success

(Image in today's post by woodsy)

Think Want, Need, Must About Your Time

pyramids We can place our spending into three categories – wants, needs, and musts. Last time, we applied these categories to money. Today we want to apply them to spending our time.

There’s a trap that’s easy to fall into when it comes to spending our time. We spend time how we want to, instead of how we need to. Then we end up with a must do.

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If you think of a pyramid, with wants at the base, needs in the middle, and musts at the top, we tend to focus too much energy at the bottom of the pyramid at the expense of the top.

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marylynnI may have a lot of things on my “must list” but I’ll zip over to Facebook to see what my friends are up to!

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georgeWhile we need to do quite a bit of research for Bigg Success, I can just get lost in it. I’ve already learned what I need to know, but I’m still interested so I just keep going.

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Why do we work on wants? Without a doubt, there are many reasons. The task at hand is difficult. It’s easier to work on something else. We may prefer to work on something else. It may be more fun to do something else. These are just a few of the reasons.

Start by defining

With our money, our musts are easy to determine – food, clothing, shelter and transportation. They’re a constant. With our time, our musts are much more flexible. They are things that are deadline-driven or crisis-related.

Our needs involve personal growth and interpersonal relations as well as activities that get us ahead of that deadline or prevent the crisis. Our wants then are everything else – generally activities that we like to do.

The time paradox

So why does this happen …

on those days when we have a full schedule, we get a lot done, but …

on days when we don’t have so much to do, we don’t seem to accomplish much?

When we’re required to really focus, we can get it done. When the pressure is off, we’re more likely to drift. We do what we want. If we’re not careful, if we don’t do the things we need to do, the needs move up to musts in the form of a pressing deadline or a crisis that could have been prevented.

Daily starter

So start each day with a blank piece of paper. Write “Musts” at the top, “Needs” in the middle, and “Wants” toward the bottom. Then, map out your day by making your list under each item. When you get done with your “Musts”, you can work on “Needs” and once they’re complete, you get to work on your “Wants”. It’s like a reward!

Musts, Wants, Needs – keeping these three categories in mind helps you best allocate your time!

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Get the tips and tools you need to be a BIGG success!
Subscribe to the Bigg Success Weekly – it’s FREE!

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We really appreciate you reading our post today. You’ve heard of stepping stones … join us next time when we’ll discuss overstepping stones. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

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Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
http://media.libsyn.com/media/biggsuccess/00287-121608.mp3

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(Image by Ahmed Rabea, CC 2.0)

It’s Your Choice

thanksgiving

Today we want to discuss preferences – making the right choices for ourselves – and how our preferences affect our relationship with others and with ourselves.

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marylynnI was talking with my dad the other day. He’s really looking forward to Thanksgiving Day because he is going to cook all day. My dad is the make-everything-from-scratch kind of guy. He just can’t wait. For him, it’s going to be super-relaxing and he’s excited about it. I, on the other hand, would hate that. I can’t see how cooking and doing dishes all day is fun and relaxing.

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georgeAs we were talking about this, we realized that we assess other people, and what they’re doing, based on our own preferences.

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marylynnObviously, I don’t think what my dad’s doing is wrong. I’m happy for him that he’s excited. It’s just that it’s not what I would want to do.

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georgeI’m closer to your league, Mary-Lynn. If we were doing this whole thing ourselves, there would be a lot of semi-homemade cooking – out of the box with modifications stuff.

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marylynnI’m all about the Stove Top stuffing and getting a turkey breast instead of a whole turkey, so you don’t have to carve it. I guess what I’m saying here is that my choice is to be lazy!

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georgeWhich works fine on Thanksgiving Day for you. But I think sometimes we look at other people and wonder why in the world they’re doing what they’re doing. Like with what your dad’s doing – it works for him and brings him joy.

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The perfect meal

Then sometimes we make choices for ourselves based on what we think other people expect from us. We put pressure on ourselves to be perfect. Let’s keep the Thanksgiving theme going. We think we have to have the perfect meal – we have to serve the dinner on the china, the stuffing has to be homemade, we have to make the pies from scratch.

It’s what we’ve always done

We put all these pressures on ourselves because we think that’s what our guests expect. Those expectations may be based on tradition – this is what we’ve always done. Just because we’ve “always done” something doesn’t mean we should necessarily feel pressure to keep doing it every single time, or any time for that matter! There should be a good reason for it. 

Guilt

If you are strapped for time, if you are tuckered out, why put yourself through all of this extra work? You could just get a store-bought pie or call someone and ask them to make one or pick one up.

But if we do that, we feel guilty. Because we’re not doing what’s always been done, because our family’s going to expect that everything is going to be perfect – we’re going to have the homemade pie, the stuffing is going to be made from scratch, the turkey will be nice and golden, fresh out of the oven, ready to carve.

Who really expects it?

We do all of these things because we feel these expectations even though the people around us may not. We place all of this pressure on ourselves!

We may do this because we want everything to be perfect. That’s fine as long as it’s really your choice and you’re not doing it because you feel guilty if you don’t do it.

Conscious choices

Maybe if you really thought about it, and you talked with your loved ones, you might decide that the best solution is to go out for Thanksgiving dinner. Or have spaghetti with turkey meatballs!

That’s the point – it doesn’t matter what you do if you consciously make the choice. If it works for you and the people you care about, then it works! And this doesn’t just apply to Thanksgiving dinner!

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Subscribe to the Bigg Success Weekly – it’s FREE!

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Today we give thanks to you for joining us here. Next time, we’ll look at close encounters of the rude kind. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

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Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
http://media.libsyn.com/media/biggsuccess/00272-112508.mp3

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