Posts

Leadership and the Science of Attraction

professional business woman | BIGG SuccessYou know about the Law of Attraction – our results are the manifestations of our thoughts.

Today, we want to focus on the science of attraction. It’s not often discussed outside the world of romance.

However, we must find our leaders attractive or we won’t follow them. So if you want to be an effective leader, it pays to think about the image you portray.

Listen to this post! Click a player to hear George & Mary-Lynn on The BIGG Success Show Podcast


iPhone/iPad Podcast Player

[haiku url=”http://traffic.libsyn.com/biggsuccess/00742-100711.mp3″ title=”The BIGG Success Show #742″]
Package Deal

Have you ever spent time with someone who was incredibly compelling even though they weren’t particularly good-looking?

However, the way they dressed, styled their hair, and everything else about them made for a very attractive package.

Or let’s turn it around.

Have you ever bought a new outfit that just made you feel like a million bucks?

Well, it’s likely that you exuded confidence whenever you wore those clothes. People were attracted to you because you felt good about yourself.

That’s a good investment!

Talk the talk

According to David Feinberg, a psychologist at McMaster University, the perception that people have of us is affected by both the speed at which we speak as well as the pitch we use.

People think fast talkers are more educated.

They also find people who change their tone as they speak more interesting.

There’s a great way to learn how to do this. When you’re getting ready in the morning, talk to yourself in the mirror.

Tell yourself a story.

Make a presentation.

Engage in casual conversation.

Practice any (and every) situation you may face that day.

You’ll do a much better job of talking with others when you first practice talking to yourself!

Walk the walk

Did your mom ever tell you to stand up straight? It turns out she was right.

We’re more attracted to people with good posture.

And there’s a great way to test your posture. You may have done it as a kid. We must admit that we hadn’t done it since. Until now.

So how do you test your posture? Stand up next to a wall.

Good posture implies a certain sense of self-confidence that we find attractive. We want to follow people who believe in themselves.

Sort of makes sense, doesn’t it? By the way, good posture is also good for your health.

The Eyes of the Beholder

You know the old saying, “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.” But did you know that we’re attracted to people when we like how we look through their eyes?

Flattery, make that sincere flattery, still goes far. If someone sees us as the person we want to be, we like them. A lot.

So compliment people. Not in a “hey, baby, you’re so hot” sort of way. Sincerely. Encourage them.

Most of all listen. Really listen. Not just with your ears, but with your mind and spirit. That’s the best form of flattery of all!

And Deepak Chopra tells us the most important part of the science of attraction. He said:

“The secret of attraction is to love yourself.”

Self-love is the foundation of all love. It leads to BIGG success!

What leadership qualities do you find attractive?

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file | podcast:
http://traffic.libsyn.com/biggsuccess/00742-100711.mp3

Image in this post from stock.xchng

Directions that Discourage

twisted_directions We saw the results of a fascinating study over at Medical News Today. The researchers tested how the directions about a task affect the perception of the task itself. They started by trying to motivate college students to exercise.

___

___

They gave the students directions on how to implement an exercise program. Half of the students got directions in an easy-to-read Arial font. The other half received the same directions in a Brush font (think paint brush), which is difficult to read.

Then the researchers asked these students:

  • to estimate how long the exercise routine would take
  • how easy it would be
  • if they would make it part of their regular routine

The “Arial” group thought that it would take less time and be easier than the “Brush” group, who also was less likely to make it a part of their daily ritual.

It’s amazing how something as simple as the font we choose could make so much difference. Just to be sure their results weren’t skewed by the students’ preconceived notions about exercise, the researchers performed a similar experiment with a recipe for sushi.

The outcome was similar. They concluded that if instructions are easier to read, people respond positively.

Enough about fonts, let’s put all the pieces together

We need to think about the directions we give to make sure they’re not discouraging our people. We don’t want to make a simple task sound complicated by our directions. Since people equate the ease of a given task to the ease of the directions about that task, we need to think about our:

  • Message
    Be sure you’re clear in what you’re saying. Also be concise. Eliminate the fluff. Focus on writing high-impact copy.
  • Design
    Obviously, the font you use plays a role. So does      white  space     . Graphical elements are always good. You should also use headers and bullet points when possible to make your directions easier to digest.
  • Words
    Sixteen-syllable words don’t impress many people; they have the opposite affect on far more. Jargon doesn’t help either. Use words that your audience will easily understand.

Look at the following two sentences:

You’ll save money if you buy gas today.

Buying gas today could be economically advantageous.

Which one conveys the message better to you? Which words do you like? Which structure if preferable?

We often make the mistake of thinking “fancy” words said in our passive voice make us sound smarter or more professional. Usually it’s the opposite. We’re deemed smart when we connect with the audience we’re trying to reach.                

___

Get the tips and tools you need to be a BIGG success!
Subscribe to the Bigg Success Weekly – it’s FREE!

___

Next time, we’ll discuss how to be a good winner (or loser). Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

Subscribe to the Bigg Success feed.

Direct link to The Bigg Success Show audio file:
http://media.libsyn.com/media/biggsuccess/00257-110408.mp3

Related posts

9 Presentation Tips to Make You a Star

How To Write A Great Report: 7 Tips To Make Your Next Report Stand Out

(Image by rore_d)

Are Good Looks an Advantage or a Disadvantage at Work?

A lot of attractive people complain that people assume things about them without getting to know them. It’s assumed that they’re unintelligent, superficial, and even arrogant.

You’ve been given the gift of physical attractiveness, which has to mean you’re lacking in other areas. In the social world, you’re just the pretty boy or girl.

But does that perception carry over into the professional world? Is there a bias against people who are good-looking?

 

Green Without Envy
Economists Markus Mobius of Harvard University and Tanya Rosenblat of Wesleyan University did a study to see how looks affected the hiring process. They divided participants into five groups:

  • Two of the groups never saw a photo of the candidate or the candidates themselves
  • The other three either saw the candidate’s photograph or in-person.

The groups who saw the candidates were much more likely to hire the more attractive candidate, even though the less attractive candidate was just as qualified.

These employers predicted that the attractive candidates would be more productive, and would be rewarded for it with higher pay.

Even Greener Pastures
Daniel Hamermesh, an economist at the University of Texas, is one of the world’s foremost authorities on the economics of beauty. Dr. Hamermesh has focused on how beauty effects financial success in the workplace.

His research confirms the results of the study we just referenced – that beauty gains an advantage because the doors of opportunity open more frequently. So they make connections, learn skills, and grow professionally. Then they’re able to leverage that first opportunity into many more opportunities, which results in even higher pay.

He also offers little hope for the unattractive. His research has shown that spending money on things to enhance your looks is a waste. You’ll only get back about 15 cents in pay for ever dollar you spend.

Our bigg quote today is by an unknown author:

“We could learn a lot from crayons; some are sharp, some are pretty,
some are dull, while others bright, some have weird names,
but they all have learned to live together in the same box.”

The more colors you have, the more colorful your world can be.


Questions for you

Socially, we often hear pretty people complain that they’re discriminated against. But research seems to show that it works to their favor in the workplace.

From your experiences, do you think good looks are an advantage or a disadvantage?

Is there a difference between men and women? Are good looks more important in the workplace for men or for women?

How about age? Is this something you think affects young people more than older workers or vice versa?

What do you think of Dr. Hamermesh’s finding that it doesn’t pay to try to package yourself better? Do you think it makes a difference?

Share your thoughts by leaving a Comment.

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

Subscribe to the Bigg Success feed.

Related posts

The Confidence Game

The Single Most Destructive Thought You Can Have

Where Are You If You Ain’t Where You Are

The Greatest Miracle In The World

(Image by svilen001)

How to Feel Rich Today

rich_dessert Rich is a very rich word. It’s commonly defined as “wealth”, but “rich” has many meanings.

It means “quality” – “That’s a rich idea.”

It implies “fullness” – “I have a rich life."

Another meaning is “fruitful” – “He farms rich soil.”

Rich goes way beyond the common perception.

Conditions vs. Expectations
If your current conditions equal or exceed your expectations, you’re happy. If you’re happy, you can feel rich.

If your conditions don’t meet your expectations, then you’re unhappy. In that case, you can either change your conditions or change your expectations.

3 ways to change your conditions


#1 – Change your attitude.

It all starts with you. If you think you can’t do something, you can’t. It’s that simple.

#2 – Change your self-talk.
Keep telling yourself that “you can do it”. Yes, we know about the Adam Sandler movies!

Say it over and over until you really, truly believe it. Every time you tell yourself something negative, you’re actually two steps behind. You’ve taken a step back because of this self-doubt, and you could have taken a step forward.

#3 – Emulate successful people.

You may not FEEL like doing something. Do it anyway. Fake it. Force it. Do what successful people do long enough and you’ll be successful.

3 ways to change your expectations

#1 – Stop trying to keep up with the Jones’.

It’s your life, not theirs. What difference does their opinion make? You’re the one who has to be proud of you.

#2 – Set goals that are achievable.
If you set the bar so high that all you do is work toward that goal, you won’t have a rich life. Set goals that stretch you, but don’t break you as you try to achieve them.

#3 – Look at what you have, not what you don’t have. 

Savor your accomplishments before you move on. Look at your relationships and all the things for which you can be happy.

A man who changed his conditions

A friend of ours got in with a group at work that complained about everything – their conditions, their boss, and the company. They also never gave an ounce more than they needed to in order to keep their jobs.

One day, our friend got assigned to a project with a guy who was a bigg goal-getter. This guy only said good things about work, their boss, and the company. He did little things that made him stand out. Our friend emulated him. Before long, he got a promotion with a bigg raise.

A woman who changed her expectations

Sarah Susanka is an architect who has written ten books, including The Not-So-Big Life. She was a busy professional, but she was unhappy. She was so busy, though, that she couldn’t spare the time to figure out what to do about it.

After some time, she learned that she had breast cancer. While going through treatment, she didn’t have much energy, but she had time to think. She realized that quality, not quantity, is what matters. She says to focus on your comfort, not what impresses other people.

The Bigg Goal-Planners Workbook is a great resource to determine what’s most important to you. It’s FREE when you subscribe to our
FREE weekly newsletter.

Our bigg quote today is by Oscar Wilde, who said,

“Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul
are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.”

All the things money can buy comes with a price tag. All the things money can’t buy. Priceless.

There’s our nod to VISA … but you won’t have to use your VISA!

With spring here tomorrow, we’ll discuss three steps to make your success grow. Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

Subscribe to the Bigg Success feed.

Subscribe to The Bigg Success Show in iTunes. 

Related posts 

Don’t Worry! Be Happy …. And Healthy!

Where Are You If You Ain’t Where You Are

How Do You Define Success?

Back To The Future: Visualizing The Life You Want (Part 2)

(Image by gierszewski, CC 2.0)

This Advice Is Not For The Faint-of-Heart

heart

 On the show, George said he once had a student who underperformed, primarily due to sporadic attendance. As the semester wound down, he found out the reason – his student had a severe acne condition. Most of the time, it was under control. But it occasionally flared up, and this student wouldn’t leave his apartment.

George said that, had he known what the problem was, he could have helped. The University has fantastic support services for students. But this student didn’t take advantage of it.

So why don’t people, who need help, ask for it?

  • Youth and inexperience
    Some people just don’t know any better. They may have never faced the situation before. 
  • Insecurity
    Other people don’t ask for help because they lack self-confidence. They’re afraid they’ll be embarrassed or “look stupid”. 
  • Ego
    Yet other people are too proud to admit that they’re in over their head. 

All of which leads us to the common perception that keeps many people from succeeding:

They think that they will look weak if they ask for help.

George has a friend who is a multi-multi-millionaire. He owns many businesses. He has real estate all over the country. He travels extensively. He is a well-respected leader in the community.

But it hasn’t always been easy. A few years ago, he almost ran out of cash in his franchise business. He approached anyone and everyone within the franchise organization that he thought could help him. Together they found a solution that helped him get back on his feet!

The moral to these stories … only the strong ask for help.

So, assuming you’re strong enough, here are three tips to get the help you need.

#1 – Know who to ask.
Don’t ask people who can’t help you, but ask anyone and everyone who can. George’s student may have talked to friends, but they didn’t know what to do. The businessman talked to the appropriate people with the franchisor. They helped make it happen!

#2 – Present your situation properly.
People respond best to opportunities. So, whenever possible, frame your situation as an opportunity, not a problem. Obviously, this won’t apply to all situations.

The student didn’t have an opportunity to offer, per se. However, there are people at the University whose entire job is to help students in that type of situation. This was an opportunity to fulfill their mission.

The businessman presented an openness to consider anything, but a desire to help his franchisor solve their problems, too. He ended up partnering with them in yet another business, which led to his fortune.

#3 – Be willing to accept advice and act upon it or don’t ask in the first place.
You’ll demonstrate that they’ve helped you by implementing their solution and letting them know how it goes. Otherwise, don’t waste their time.

Do you need help with a bigg challenge you’re facing?
E-mail us at bigginfo@biggsuccess.com.We' love to help!

Our bigg quote today is by Ric Ocasek, the lead singer of The Cars.

“Refusing to ask for help when you need it is refusing someone the chance to be helpful.”

So “let’s go” ask for help. I usually get “just what I needed” to “shake it up” and create some “magic.”

Can you tell we’re bigg Cars fans?

The title of our next blog says it all – “Help! My Spouse Spends Too Much Money!” We’ll help one of our newsletter subscribers stop the bleeding without getting bloody! Until then, here’s to your bigg success!

Subscribe to the Bigg Success feed 

Related posts

Leadership 

Personal growth 

(Image by DannoHung, CC 2.0)

Pages

Ease Office Aches and Discomforts in 5 Minutes

By Bigg Success Staff
03-11-08

Work – Life Balance

five_minutes_sign 

Is your neck starting to feel tight? Get away for five minutes.

Are your eyes feeling strained? Walk away for five minutes.

Do you feel some discomfort in your wrists? Move on to something else for five minutes.

You get the idea. When you feel discomfort, strain, aches or pains, change your activities for five minutes!

But that’s not good enough!

Set an alarm
Remember the old saying, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure?”

Set an alarm for every hour on the hour. When the alarm goes off, change your routine for five minutes!

It doesn’t mean you have to quit working. Have a quick conversation with a co-worker about that project on which you’re both working. Organize your Inbox. File away papers. Make a phone call. Just do something different from what you’ve been doing.

But actually taking a little break from work may be just the ticket! Try to do that at least every other hour. Take a short walk. Stretch. Focus on something far away to give your eyes a break. Talk to somebody. Do something you enjoy.

Wrong perception
There’s a perception that, because office work doesn’t require physical labor, office workers don’t need a break. This perception exists even among many office workers! But the repetitive tasks you perform at your desk may be just as taxing on your body as physical labor.

Besides that, getting away from it all for a few minutes every couple hours will make you more productive when you come back. A little refresher keeps things in perspective. Research shows that just changing your scenery for a short time makes a difference in productivity.

So change up your routine for five minutes every hour – you’ll find that you feel better and be more productive!

Speaking of which, it’s time for a break!

Subscribe to the Bigg Success feed.

Hear today's lesson and laugh on The Bigg Success Show. 

Related posts 

Don’t Worry! Be Happy …. And Healthy!

Too Much To Do? Take A Nap!

Would You Like An Extra Hour Every Day? 

(Image by woodysworld1778,CC 2.0)